Chapter 32………………………………………
At last, I understood.
Back then, why the head butler had given Riena such a meaningful look. Why he hadn’t fussed over her and adored her like the other servants did.
He, too, had watched Riena closely for a long time, and with the goddess’s blessing, he must naturally have found her lovable.
But he couldn’t love her.
Every time he saw her, he was reminded of his son. His own child, wounded because of the love Riena received—so deeply hurt that he’d even developed an illness of the heart.
And at the same time, I couldn’t understand.
“There are as many different stories as there are families in this world. That’s why we shouldn’t speak carelessly about other people’s private affairs. But this much, I can say with certainty.”
I looked at the man, who seemed especially small and shabby.
“You’re irresponsible as a parent. Even if you couldn’t protect your son in that moment because it was beyond your control… you shouldn’t have continued working under the duke. And you shouldn’t have left Joshua abandoned like that.”
To the Cassius family, it had been a brief incident, something to remember as a passing event.
But to Joshua, it had become trauma that bound him for life.
Joshua, only one year older than Riena, had been just nine years old at the time. A fragile child to begin with, with a blade pointed at his throat, his life threatened.
The duke—the perpetrator—had shown neither regret nor remorse. And the father, who should have protected his child, couldn’t even protest once and continued serving the very man who harmed him.
How could Joshua’s heart possibly remain intact?
“Then what am I supposed to do?!”
The head butler slammed the table.
“He’s the master I devoted my youth to. Once, he was someone who stood on the side of the powerless—someone who even defied his own father!”
His face turned red as he flailed his arms, trying desperately to make us understand something.
“He said his dream was to build a land where people wouldn’t starve, be robbed, beaten, or killed just because they were lowborn! I believed that dream was my dream too!”
But that “something” belonged to a past already gone, and it was too much for us to truly understand.
“For that dream, I didn’t even stay beside my wife as she lay dying! I delivered secret letters to free my imprisoned master! And now—now you tell me—!”
He clutched his head. Several hot tears fell onto the table.
“It’s impossible. I’ve lived like this for half my life. Even if I wanted to change, I can’t. I can’t leave Cassius, because I need to leave even one more coin behind for that child, who can’t live a normal life.”
“…”
“Even if I go serve another noble for profit, it would only last for a moment. Who would keep a servant who abandoned his master? And besides… the duke is not someone who would ever let a traitor go. This is the best I can do.”
I was furious, but I held it in. What good would anger do?
The head butler had narrowed his world, staring only at the limited scenery in front of him, justifying himself. He’d lived that way for over ten years.
If a few words could change a person, this world would be overflowing with only good people.
“You know better than anyone that all those reasons are nothing but excuses.”
The skin beneath the butler’s eyes twitched.
“How disappointing. If you truly felt sorry toward me, I thought you might testify for me at trial.”
“I cannot. How could I act against House Cassius?”
“Yes. Someone who couldn’t even act for his own son wouldn’t act for me either.”
“…That’s right.”
“But at least remember this.”
I rose from my seat.
“If there’s even a little responsibility left in you… even a little love for your child…”
I pulled out the wooden carving that had been in my pocket. I’d only been holding onto it absentmindedly after everything happened so quickly.
“If you want a formal apology from the duke. If you want to heal Joshua’s illness of the heart…”
I stepped closer.
“Come find me. You can contact me anytime through Attorney Sharon Matings in the capital.”
Then I placed the human-shaped carving Joshua had made into the butler’s hand.
“You’ve lived as your master’s servant until now… how about living the rest of your life as your son’s father?”
Truly wishing it could be so, I treated him not as a subordinate, but as a person.
After all, soon enough, I wouldn’t belong to House Cassius either.
The rough wooden carving wore a monocle. Despite his lack of skill, it was obvious Joshua had poured his whole heart into recreating the single lens.
It was the work of a son who must have deeply respected and loved his hardworking father.
“…”
Until we left the house, the head butler stared endlessly at it.
By the time we reached the station, it was already late evening, and the last train to the capital had long departed.
We had no choice but to stay the night in Ashton.
As the largest city in the north, both dinner and the hotel were extremely satisfying.
“Today, I’ll treat you both to show my gratitude!”
Terrence insisted stubbornly, but my calculation speed was much faster.
Heh. No one could stop someone who’d looted jewels from Cassius Castle and had a heavy purse now.
After the warm atmosphere passed, and I lay alone in bed, my mood sank.
The novel “After Regressing, I’ll Walk Only the Flower Path,” where Riena—the orphan girl who suffered in her past life—meets a wonderful new family, lives happily, and even finds destined love.
In the novel, only villains like Terrence met unhappy endings. Most of the kind supporting characters lived happily.
Really?
Would the real Idel have been happy too?
Until now, I’d thought Idel might have been… reasonably happy.
The Cassius family was trash, but compared to her birth family—who only wanted to sell her off to a rich man and use her—it seemed better.
But after seeing the butler and Joshua today, I began to doubt that belief.
They were clearly on Riena’s side, among the “good” supporting cast.
And yet… they didn’t look happy at all.
After Joshua awakened the duke’s “daughter fool” trait and exited the story, there was no mention of him again.
As if his role had been used up.
That episode had been comedic in tone, so even I had never imagined Joshua had been hurt so deeply.
And yet Joshua was still there.
Living, breathing, existing in this world.
Holding wounds alone that the one who caused them would never acknowledge.
“…Maybe there are more.”
Others buried by the Cassius family’s cruelty.
That day, for the first time, I held a fundamental doubt about the so-called “righteous” protagonist’s side.
Were they truly righteous?
The next day, Ashton Station.
A figure appeared—unexpected, and yet inevitable.
The head butler.
There was still time before our train departed, so I spoke with him briefly.
He asked abruptly,
“Can he really be treated?”
Of course, he meant Joshua.
“I saw in the newspaper that recently, medical professionals in the capital have been conducting academic research into treating mental illness through counseling or medication.”
It was a step beyond the traditional concept of medicine, which had focused only on the body.
“…I see. I thought if I called it an illness of the heart, people would look at him strangely, so I kept it hidden.”
Even though Ashton was the largest city in the north, the capital remained the center of most scholarship.
It wasn’t strange that a man who’d spent his whole life guarding Cassius Castle didn’t know the details.
Worried, I warned him,
“Even if you refuse my offer, make sure he receives treatment.”
I truly wanted Joshua’s suffering to stop.
The butler nodded slightly, then brought up another topic.
“Do you really think… he can receive an apology?”
A difficult question.
Honestly, yesterday I’d spoken impulsively, furious that the duke had never apologized.
But last night, after staying awake rereading the original work, I concluded it wasn’t entirely impossible.
If I used that future item properly, it might change the duke’s heart.
“I can’t promise. But if there’s even a trace of the duke’s old self left… it may be possible.”
A blunt noble who once cared for the weak.
“…After the duchess passed away, the duke changed. He became endlessly cold and merciless. Like a man without emotions. But after Lady Riena arrived… the young masters regained their smiles, and even the duke did too. I thought it was only a good sign.”
He paused, then continued.
“Now, all of the duke’s affection and attention is directed solely at the young lady. Perhaps the reason he engages in charity or treats the powerless more gently is because she wishes it.”
“What do you want to do?”
“…If I can… I want to return him to the man he once was.”
“I understand.”
There was only one thing I could say.
“I wish you luck.”
In the end, I boarded the train without once trying to persuade him further.
Would he testify for me?
It was important, but seeing the relieved look on his face, I felt strangely that it didn’t matter.
I really am a bit reckless, aren’t I?
The head butler bowed deeply toward the departing train—
until he disappeared from my sight completely.
