Chapter: 36
No matter how much you dress it up with words like “pillar of the beast world” or “guardian,” in the end, the principal was nothing more than someone who used the Taebaekgwan beastmen as tools.
The Taebaekgwan beastmen had to train according to the system the principal set up, and they had to go on missions when ordered.
They could feel discontent at all of this, but disobedience was not allowed.
In truth, the Taebaekgwan beastmen had no other options. For these incomplete beings, the only place they could firmly plant themselves in this world was the Golden Beast Academy.
At the school, everything was provided to help them live like normal humans.
Including the most important sedatives.
Considering their short average lifespans, most of the beasts thought it wasn’t such a bad deal after all.
Satahee was one of them, but Eungjun was not pleased by this fact.
In truth, like Eungjun’s own story, Satahee had her own history too.
It was the matter of her older sister, Sajinhee.
Sajinhee had suffered for years from trauma acquired during missions, and only recently had she been allowed by the principal to work at the school.
The two of them, knowing how much Sajinhee had struggled, thought the principal was pushing people too far.
“It’s not like it’s not bad. You hate the principal too. Don’t pretend to be so cool.”
“What difference does it make if I hate him? All it does is make me feel worse.”
Nothing changed.
This was the truth that Satahee always repeated.
No matter how much they hated him, the Taebaekgwan beastmen could not sever their connection with the principal.
Quietly sipping water, Satahee asked Ikyul,
“Ikyul, you haven’t been taking your sedatives lately, right?”
“Yeah. It’s been a while.”
“That’s good. You’ve been having a hard time.”
“……”
Compared to other beastmen, Ikyul suffered particularly badly from pheromone imbalance. The evidence was in his frequent rampages.
Rampages.
A phenomenon where a humanized beast suddenly reverts to their animal form, seen only in the wild-type beasts.
Other than knowing it was connected to pheromone imbalance, very little had been clarified.
The small absolute number of beast specimens meant there were also very few researchers.
Ikyul would often rampage and turn into a tiger even without taking the pink capsule—the secondary awakening drug that Eungjun had used. Sometimes as many as eighteen times a month.
A remarkably high number compared to other wild-type beasts.
Naturally, the days he relied on sedatives increased.
The problem was that sedatives weren’t supplied infinitely. He’d heard that the raw materials needed to make them were rare and hard to come by.
Another issue was that while the carefully crafted awakening drugs allowed a beast to retain their reasoning while transforming, rampages did not.
Awakening drugs were usually designed so that beastmen could perform special missions impossible for humans.
There were two types:
The first awakening drug amplified only animalistic senses while in human form, and the second awakening drug transformed a beast into an animal while keeping their reasoning intact.
Most missions used only the green first awakening drug.
Ikyul, in particular, only took the green first awakening drug.
For a beast like Ikyul, who could easily slip into a rampage, the pink second awakening drug, which maintained the imbalance strongly, was too risky.
There had even been accidents in the past.
He had lost reasoning, left the training grounds, and when he was very young, had even injured people.
Though the memory was vague, he had never touched the pink awakening drug since then.
Meanwhile, whether green or pink, the awakening drugs came with inevitable side effects.
Symptoms varied by individual, but included headaches that felt like the head would split, extreme hunger, and insomnia lasting several days.
With only the first awakening drug, a single sedative could remove all these symptoms, but the second awakening drug was different.
A sedative taken immediately after the second awakening drug would only return the person to human form; it wouldn’t cure the side effects.
Since awakening drugs and sedatives came as a set of one each, taking the second awakening drug meant enduring the side effects as they were.
This was why Satahee had given Eungjun one of her sedatives.
Ikyul’s case was slightly different.
Due to his frequent rampages, extra sedatives were allocated solely to him.
After coming to the main facility, he no longer carried them around.
Knowing all this, Satahee naturally said it was good that he hadn’t been taking sedatives.
However, after the brief conversation with Byeolyunseong, Ikyul couldn’t shake the feeling that he was deceiving Seonhadam, and Satahee’s words didn’t comfort him.
“Why do you look like that?”
Satahee asked, puzzled.
“Hyung.”
“Speak.”
“Do you think I’m using Seonhadam?”
Satahee raised her eyebrows, as if confused by the sudden question, then realized what he meant and asked,
“Because of the pheromones?”
Just as Ikyul was about to nod, Eungjun smirked and interjected.
“Kid, you like her, huh.”
“What are you talking about all of a sudden?”
“Well, why else would you be so serious? Our reaction to her pheromones was just a natural thing. It’s no different than stomach growling when you’re hungry.”
“Jun’s right. It’s not something to think deeply about, and this isn’t like you.”
“But she’s cute. The way she cries like she’s lived her whole life is funny too.”
Eungjun got up from the sofa, narrowing his eyes teasingly. Even the usually calm Satahee chuckled lightly and added,
“Right. Makes you want a little sister.”
Hearing them agreeing with each other like it was planned made Ikyul’s stomach twist.
Until now, he had mentioned Hadam only to show a transforming beast in front of her directly. Now that his goal had been achieved, he didn’t need to bring her up.
His relationship with Hadam was strictly personal, and no matter how close his older brothers were, he didn’t want them casually discussing the person most important to him.
“Both of you, that’s enough.”
“Oh. Ikyul’s annoyed.”
“Seems like you really care.”
“No, I don’t.”
Even if he did feel genuine interest, it would surely be because of pheromones.
If it weren’t for pheromones, he wouldn’t be interested in such a small, delicate girl. He probably wouldn’t have met her at all.
But Eungjun, oblivious to this, added calmly,
“Don’t overthink it. If you can like her, just like her. How often will you get to experience such luxurious feelings? Right?”
“I agree.”
The conversation was drifting in a direction he didn’t want. Ikyul furrowed his brows as tightly as he could.
“Hah. I’ll go buy a drink.”
“I’ll have an iced Americano.”
“Me too.”
“There’s only a vending machine here.”
“Then I’ll take a non-sweet one—”
Bang.
He slammed the door as if to make them hear him and left the interview room.
There was another vending machine on the second floor, but he deliberately went to the first floor. His mind was cluttered and needed time to cool down.
Luxurious feelings.
Why not.
His life had always been under the constant threat of death.
Friendships with his older brothers, camaraderie built with the Taebaekgwan beastmen, the desire to help the beast world, the never-before-held hope for the future—nothing was not extravagant.
And then there was the feeling of liking someone…
Ikyul slowly shook his head.
Familiar emptiness quickly cooled his mind.
Indeed, he decided, it was best not to dwell on lingering feelings.
He had reached a conclusion, but it didn’t feel freeing.
To throw away, erase, and remove something—this lifelong cycle still tasted bitter.
Ikyul exhaled sharply, then inserted bills into the vending machine one by one.
Then, without any hesitation, he picked out two cans of the sweetest-looking coffee.
Recently, Hadam had been seriously worried she might have bipolar disorder.
Recalling a few days ago when she met Eungjun and Satahee, she felt elated, almost flying, but thinking about Ikyul made her heart sink endlessly.
Yet when she actually talked with Ikyul, studied together, or did club activities, her heart filled with excitement and she felt like she could soar.
No matter how hard she tried to keep a poker face, she couldn’t completely hide her racing feelings.
“Hadam, what’s been going on lately? You don’t look well.”
“Ah… I’ll tell you later. Sorry.”
“Okay. I’ll wait, but promise to tell me. You can’t make your sister worry too much, right?”
Though it was a smiling conversation, the thought that she had worried Yuna made her uneasy.
She wished she could just open up about everything.
Sighing, Hadam headed to the teacher’s office.
In truth, she didn’t have the luxury to be lost in thought.
Today was the career counseling session Hadam had been trying so hard to avoid.
