Chapter 36: Tea Party Invitation (2):
In the end, I was dragged in front of a strange man, my arms firmly held by two maids.
“Why did you run away?”
The man, speaking calmly, adjusted his glasses.
Honestly, I wanted to ask why I shouldn’t have run away.
Why am I even in this situation to begin with?
Like a scene from the Pirate King’s execution, I was forcibly seated on a sofa, helplessly exposed to a man who was measuring my body.
Still, more than being wary of the unknown man, I resented the maids who were holding me down.
“How could you treat a young lady like this? It’s cruel! Brutal!”
“If you were like a normal noble lady, we wouldn’t have to do this.”
“You’re like a hippo, miss. A hippo.”
Even with my complaints, the two maids simply nodded as if their behavior was perfectly justified.
A hippo? Seriously?
“We need to measure her back, hold her tighter.”
As I wriggled in frustration, the man gave instructions to the maids.
Honestly, I felt like some sort of beast.
Only after quite some time did the man clap his hands twice, signaling the end.
At last, the maids let go of my arms.
“I’m going to cry. Sob, even. I mean it.”
I glared at the vaguely familiar face, grumbling, but the maids simply shrugged.
“If you cry, we’ll lend you a handkerchief.”
“How about some cookies and cocoa?”
Then it hit me—these two were the ones who always gave me snacks whenever I stopped by the dining hall.
Ah, now I can’t even get revenge on them.
I sank lightly into despair as Lucy gently patted my shoulder in reassurance.
“Shall I send a reply to Lady Stivach?”
“…I’m not going.”
I felt a little bad seeing how cheerful Lucy looked, but when I say I’m not going, I mean it.
I had already made up my mind. Why were they being so persistent?
Even as I firmly refused, Lucy didn’t back down.
“You have to go. I already informed the Marquis.”
“You told my brother?”
I was a little flustered by that.
The Baizen from the original story would’ve declined not only society events but even simple tea party invitations.
But surely not…
“Don’t tell me… he said I could go?”
“He said it might be good for you to make a friend or two.”
Wow. Am I dreaming?
Did Baizen really say that?
I found it hard to believe Lucy’s words.
Was fate really changing? Was Baizen’s destiny shifting toward truly becoming part of Odelia’s family?
If so, wasn’t that a perfect transformation? The thought made me smile.
Still… even so, I didn’t want to go.
It’s not that I hated forming connections with others.
By nature, I liked being around people. It wasn’t that I disliked them or resented relationships.
I just wanted to think a little further ahead.
If I were to meet the people from that other world, then soon Odelia might return.
With that heavy thought, I shook my head and stood up.
“Still not going.”
“You’re awfully stubborn for no reason,” said the man quietly as he jotted down my measurements on paper.
“What did you just say?”
The man, who had carelessly brushed back his dark blond hair with a yellowish tint, turned to me without any sign of surprise.
“Do you think all these people are free and have no work, wasting their time here like this?”
His words were rather sharp.
Sure, I guess my attitude could be annoying, but was it enough to make him that upset?
They were the ones who forced me into this.
“Hey—”
“I apologize, Lady Vanilla.”
Vanilla.
I stumbled back slightly, startled by Lucy’s use of that name.
Looking at him, he had the sharp aura of an espresso, so being called “Vanilla” was kind of shocking.
The name and the vibe… the gap was huge.
Noticing my hesitation, Lucy quickly introduced him.
“My lady, this is Count Vanilla Lemongrass. He normally makes outfits for the imperial palace, but today, by His Highness the Crown Prince’s orders, he’s here just for you.”
Lucy’s glance told me to behave.
So this was the person Ian had mentioned would tailor my clothes.
“If my rude words offended you, I apologize. But you should apologize as well.”
Vanilla, glaring sharply, began to pack up.
“Wait—”
He paused at the door, adjusting his glasses as if to ask what I wanted.
“I understand that everyone’s worried. I also know it’s wrong of me to trample on their concern. But I still don’t know why that’s wrong.”
Was it because my thoughts were just fundamentally different?
Or was it simply because I had a twisted personality?
I truly didn’t know.
If I ever had to marry someday, a contract marriage was an option.
In that sense, this world wasn’t much different from Korea’s arranged marriage culture.
I just didn’t want to get involved with others. Was that really so wrong?
“You…”
Vanilla started to say something but then stopped, mulling over his words before finally speaking.
“You lack empathy, my lady.”
Not the kindest thing he could’ve said.
But honestly? It didn’t hit that hard.
I’d heard it too many times from my mother in my previous life.
Still… why? Why was that?
“I’ve been told that before.”
“Then you should fix it.”
“But I don’t know how.”
Finally, I asked what I had long wanted to ask.
“What exactly is wrong with me?”
It was a question I never dared ask my mom.
Back then, I was just a child who blindly nodded at everything she said.
I believed I was selfish, rude, and annoying—just like she always said.
So I never asked.
Why am I like this?
What about me is so wrong?
How can I be different?
A strange pressure welled in my chest, and I pressed down on it.
But the feeling didn’t go away.
“How do you see the people around you?”
Vanilla looked at me as he asked.
“I think they’re good people.”
“That’s a very cliché answer.”
Vanilla, replying calmly, sat on the central sofa and asked Lucy for tea.
“This conversation might take a while. Come sit.”
I felt like a scolded child, but I couldn’t just ignore him, so I sat across from him.
“Do you like people?” he asked, taking a sip of tea.
“Of course I do.”
“Why ‘of course’? It’s okay to dislike them.”
He grimaced and put his cup down, saying that he personally didn’t like people.
“You seem to always live by your own rules.”
“Me?”
“You don’t talk to anyone. You carry everything yourself and live inside your own little rules.”
I tilted my head at that.
“Doesn’t everyone live by their own rules? Isn’t that called having principles?”
“What will you do if someday you realize your rules are wrong?”
Vanilla’s deep chocolate-colored eyes looked at me as he asked quietly.
“Even then, you won’t change them. You’ll hide inside that thick, hard shell of yours and think, ‘It’s okay, they don’t understand me. I’ll just keep living by my principles.’”
His words made a strange weight settle in my chest.
“The people who love you will wait patiently. Until you finally break free of that shell.”
“…”
“But you don’t plan to break it at all, do you?”
Vanilla stood, signaling the end of the conversation.
“Wait a moment—”
“No matter what I say, it won’t help. Unless you realize it yourself, you’ll never understand.”
Vanilla packed his belongings neatly without sparing me another glance.
“If you really want to understand, I recommend going to the tea party.”
“…Do I have to?”
“Yes. There are many people like you in high society. And let me say this—there’s no such thing as a wrong person.”
As he answered my question, Vanilla put on his hat, which the maid handed to him.
Lastly, he said he’d send the clothes soon and left the room.
Somehow, I didn’t feel great.
Was I really just a messed-up person, like my mom said?
Was I too broken to function normally?
Maybe it was just because of the family I was born into and the life I had lived.
Maybe that’s why—
“My lady!”
As I sank deeper into an ocean of self-doubt, a voice snapped me back.
Lucy’s concerned hand touched my forehead.
Her soft, caring touch somehow felt suffocating, and I sank into the sofa.
“Are you okay?”
A concerned voice like that usually gave me strength.
But right now, I hated it. I just wanted to be alone.
“I’m fine. I just… want to rest a bit.”
Even I could hear how lifeless my voice was.
Thankfully, Lucy left the room without a word.
Why is that supposed to be obvious?
It felt like Vanilla’s question echoed in my ears.
My mom used to say something similar.
“Don’t you know that’s what makes people sick of you?”
But I never knew exactly what she meant.
At the time, I just apologized, not knowing what else to say.
But what should I have said?
What part of me do you hate?
Isn’t it you who’s being cruel, Mom?
If I had grown up in a loving family, maybe I wouldn’t be like this.
Aren’t I still just a kid? Isn’t that natural?
Should I have said all of those things?
What would Mom have said if I had?
But I knew. I knew that the end of all those questions wouldn’t be kind.
At the end of it all, there’d be more hurtful words waiting to tear me down again.
If I just stayed quiet and waited for the moment to pass, things would end more peacefully.
So then… what exactly was wrong with me?
Even as the midday sun dipped low in the west and painted the sky orange, I couldn’t find the answer.
Only my head ached, and my chest remained heavy.
Should I just live in silence, like someone who’s given up on everything?
Knock, knock.
At that moment, a familiar knock came, and the door creaked open.
