Chapter 65
Rex, who had gone into the room to talk to the Grand Duke, came out much sooner than expected.
“You came out quickly?”
“Yes. I talked about the library and came out.”
“Ah. You mean about what I do in the library? What I read and stuff like that?”
“No?”
Rex tilted his head, as if the question was strange.
“Not that?”
“Yes. I told him that the library’s condition isn’t good. Since Aisha-nim goes there often, I asked him to take care of it.”
“Ah.”
I had naturally assumed that he would report what I do in the library, what books I read, those kinds of everyday things, so I blinked in confusion.
‘Or is he lying to me? Did he say everything and just claim he only talked about something else?’
But he looked far too bright for that. Rex seemed like someone whose emotions show clearly on his face, so calling his behavior a lie felt unfair, like I was suspicious of someone for no reason.
“Shall we go? The young master and young lady must be waiting.”
“Ah… yes!”
I awkwardly nodded and tried to follow him. But Rex, who had acted as if we would leave right away, scanned the surroundings and made a rather uncomfortable expression.
“This is strange.”
“What is?”
“It feels like more watchers follow Aisha-nim when you move alone than when the young master and young lady move.”
“They must be very interested in me.”
Probably so. That aunt—no, the Grand Duchess—probably thinks she can control the twins however she wants and move them with the people she assigns to watch them, but I’m not like that.
“Is that so….”
“I think so. Why? Are you suspicious of the Grand Duchess, Rex?”
He didn’t answer.
It was completely different from how he usually smiled brightly and responded to everything I said. Seeing him become awkwardly quiet, I opened my mouth again.
“Then… is it because Rex is also on that side?”
“On that side?”
“The Grand Duchess’s side! There are already a lot of people, you know.”
“No. That’s not it. I belong to the Grand Duke.”
“I just asked because you didn’t answer.”
At that, Rex chuckled and held out his hand to me.
“I was just a little surprised. I was surprised that you immediately thought of the Grand Duchess when you saw the watchers.”
“Because the Grand Duke openly attached watchers to me?”
I took his hand and looked up at him. He hesitated, as if he hadn’t expected that reaction.
“Ah….”
“It’s fine. Even if they’re watchers. Rex makes me feel comfortable.”
“Aisha-nim, I….”
He looked like he had something to say, but then closed his mouth.
“Why?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Okay!”
There was no need to press someone who didn’t want to talk, so I simply turned my head.
“Ah. About the library you mentioned earlier.”
“Yes. What did the Grand Duke say?”
“He said he would take care of everything.”
“Take care of what?”
I asked, half testing him, but he was smiling brightly.
“What will he take care of?”
“He said he would improve the library environment so Aisha-nim can stay there more comfortably, create a separate space just for Aisha-nim, and hire a librarian. He said he didn’t know it was being managed so poorly, and thanked you for letting him know the situation. He said he would show you maximum consideration.”
I had expected that the Grand Duke might not know, but I hadn’t expected him to be this considerate.
“Uh… I see.”
“Don’t worry. He confirmed that improving the environment doesn’t mean everyone will be allowed to enter. It was originally a place only authorized people could enter. So because of what I said, your peace will absolutely not be disturbed… probably. Since the Grand Duke said so.”
Rex’s words and actions were extremely cautious, as if he was trying to be considerate.
“It’s fine. I’m just borrowing the place anyway. So any situation is fine for me.”
“I-Is that so. I’m sorry. Now that I think about it, my thinking was too shallow.”
“It’s really fine. It’d be nice if it got lively. Then I could bring Rohen and Lari too. It’s too… Actually, this turned out well. Now I can bring Lari.”
Only then did he smile with relief.
“That’s a relief.”
“So let’s go. Rari and Rohen will be waiting.”
“Yes, understood.”
After that, neither of us spoke. As if we both had a lot to say but chose not to. Like that, we arrived at the twins’ room.
“You’re late.”
Rohen was standing there with his arms crossed, wearing a very dissatisfied expression, as if he had woken up earlier.
“You were awake?”
“Yeah. Where did you go that you’re so late?”
“I-I went to the library.”
“Liar.”
At Rohen’s blunt words, I somehow felt like I had lied. I could have just told the truth, but why does my heart ache like this in front of Rohen?
“…Why. No, never mind.”
Rohen shook his head and closed his mouth, as if there was no need to talk.
“Then, before Lari wakes up, should we read a book together today?”
“Yeah. The book I brought earlier is there.”
“Okay! Ah….”
Only then did I realize why Rohen had been looking at me so uncomfortably. The book placed where Rohen pointed. A book that belonged to someone who claimed they had just gone to the library.
So he knew and asked anyway.
“Rohen.”
I picked up a book and went to his side. I felt like I had made a big mistake. But even when I went over, Rohen didn’t look at me.
“Rohen?”
“……”
“Are you not going to look at me?”
“What.”
Normally, Rohen would have reacted to my words, but now he just looked at Lari in silence.
“Rohen….”
“……”
“Are you not going to talk? I’m sorry for lying. I went to the library, but the Grand Duchess called me, so I went there. I didn’t tell you because I thought you’d worry.”
Rohen looked at me for a moment, then opened the book I brought. Of course, he couldn’t actually read it, but he still moved his eyes quickly as if reading.
“Want me to read it to you?”
“……”
“I’ll read it.”
“……Why do you keep going out without telling us these days?”
“Huh?”
His calm tone felt strangely awkward. He still had childishness, but it also felt like the Rohen from the future.
“Isn’t it? Like you’re avoiding us, you keep going outside all the time.”
“That’s not it. It’s just….”
“You say it’s not, but I thought it wasn’t when the maids told me too. But I think it is.”
“What do you mean?”
Rohen vented his pent-up frustration at me.
“The maids said you seem like you’re preparing to leave. You keep going outside, and you meet the Grand Duchess and the Grand Duke alternately. I believed that wasn’t true. I kept believing it… but the Grand Duke said in front of me that it’s fine if you leave this place.”
“He did….”
“And as if to prove what they said, you’re hiding things from me right now too. Why… why are you making me anxious? Lari still can’t wake up, and why are you like this too?”
Why did Rohen’s voice sound so desperate?
It overlapped with the voice of that Rohen who cried out to God in my final moments of life. I lowered my head.
“I’m sorry, Rohen. I’m really sorry.”
I thought you were fine. I thought the child who always stood quietly was fine. A child with no one to rely on, who believed he had to be strong as Lari’s protector.
‘You finally just became comfortable.’
Maybe I was too careless, thinking this was Rohen’s home. I thought I could explain everything later, that Rohen would understand.
I thought he would understand that I was doing this for Rohen and Lari’s future, that he would know even if I didn’t say anything. But I was wrong. I was only making the children suffer.
I told them to trust me, yet I wasn’t giving them any trust.
“Rohen… so, you know….”
I didn’t know where to start or what to say. Fortunately, it was just us. Rex and the maids had all stepped back. I could talk, but the words wouldn’t come out easily.
“So I… I….”
Saying I’m doing this for you is ridiculous. Rohen, I thought I was doing this for you. But maybe I’m doing it for myself. If it were truly for you, I wouldn’t be struggling to speak like this.
“It’s okay.”
“Huh…?”
“I got too excited. I know. I know you’re doing this for us. I know you don’t tell us because you have no other intention. I was just… sad. I was afraid you’d leave.”
I saw Rohen’s hand trembling as he held Lari’s hand.
“Afraid you’d leave…?”
“Yeah… You can do things without telling us. I know you’d never do anything bad to us. Even if you did, it’d be fine. But… I’m really scared of you leaving. You can use us if you want… I just want you to stay by our side.”
