Chapter 054…………………………
Finally, the space broke.
I wished he hadn’t looked back, but he inevitably saw me slumped on the ground.
Though he didn’t have the courage to meet my eyes, he ran toward me.
“Saint… are you alright?”
He grabbed both my shoulders and examined me. The moment his gaze met mine, tears slipped from my eyes.
I hurriedly turned my head to wipe them away.
“It… rained a lot,” I said, forcing an excuse about the heavy rain, but Cardin’s brows furrowed.
There were no signs of rain on his clothes or hair, as if to remind me that this wasn’t reality.
Cardin didn’t say a word.
I shifted my gaze to where the flower had been.
The flower, shaped like a woman, hugged her knees to her chest and was crying.
She clutched her chest, burying her face in her hands from guilt and suffering.
She must have known this was a vision she created herself.
Yet her pain was real.
I understood her.
Even if God had decreed that she would not be destroyed as punishment, my thoughts remained unchanged.
She was a monster that had devoured humans.
I could not dare forgive her in place of others, and leaving her here would not change that.
Even if it was my own wrong judgment.
Even if she no longer hungered for human life.
I wanted to bring it to an end.
As I slowly rose, Cardin called me again.
“Saint…”
I passed him and walked toward the woman who was still crying.
I, too, felt as though my chest might be torn apart, stopping intermittently to exhale and steady myself.
“Dave… Dave…”
When I stood in front of her, she sensed my presence, lifted her head, and met my eyes.
The woman and I had the same eyes.
“Because of you, many people died.”
Her crying grew louder. I knelt down.
She had harmed countless people.
I had killed them over and over in a space made from memories of loved ones.
Tears born from recognizing her sins fell onto the flower beneath her form.
A flower that could wither, but could not reach true death.
“What… what do you want to do?”
She looked at me, her eyes glistening with tears.
“…Kill me. Even if it’s hell, I want to die.”
“Alright.”
I pulled her into a tight embrace.
Even when I heard Cardin and Alec’s voices behind me, I did not let go of her.
“You won’t be able to go to God. Since you killed people, you might fall into hell. But if that’s what you want, I’ll do it for you.”
I closed my eyes slowly.
I felt the energy she held—the divine energy hidden deep within her magic.
Her magic was strong and could not be purified as it was, so I drew it into myself.
I could feel her magic intertwining with my holy power, stirring violently.
It was a different sensation from when I had collapsed before.
I quickly covered my mouth with my hand, but my palm filled with blood.
I couldn’t see inside myself, but I realized that the holy power and magic had collided after becoming entangled.
I also realized that the magnitude of her magic was roughly equal to my holy power.
I vomited blood again.
“Saint!”
“Saint! Fall back!”
I faintly heard the two of them running toward me, so I concentrated my holy power.
I stretched out my arms and formed a barrier of white light. No one could enter here.
My breathing grew ragged.
When I finally opened my eyes, the flower had taken the form of a child. The petals that had once radiated a soft light were all withered.
I noticed a subtle difference from when we first discovered the flower. This was the form from the memory of the first punishment.
“Why… why go this far…?”
Now it wasn’t me holding on—it was the child.
“I know how you feel, you know.”
Even if not completely, even if the direction of emotions differed, there were many similarities.
No one would forgive her.
If I could forgive her, maybe it would be alright. Without anyone noticing.
Perhaps because I couldn’t forgive myself, I wanted at least this flower to be forgiven.
My heart pounded more and more, unrealistically.
“Your… eyes…”
I saw myself reflected in the child’s eyes.
The hair that had shone softly was now a familiar silvery gray, and the blue in the eyes had turned a dull ash color.
I had known this would happen someday, but it was a side of myself I hadn’t wanted to show.
“…Even if the color fades, it will still be beautiful.”
“Even if your eyes lose color, they’ll still be just as beautiful.”
I recalled Cardin’s voice under the cloudy moonlight.
“Saint! Withdraw your holy power! Saint!”
“Saint! Are you alright, Saint?”
Those behind the white barrier must have noticed my change. Their faint voices grew clearer as they shouted.
Among them, Cardin’s voice was distinctly clear.
I tried to resolve not to look at him, but again, he called me.
“Shallen!”
‘Shallen.’
‘Shallen Perdian. That is the name I want you to remember.’
Unconsciously, I turned my head toward his voice.
I met Cardin’s eyes as he pounded on the holy wall, unable to reach me.
Again, his voice rang out:
“Shallen!”
He called my name, not the title “Saint.”
I couldn’t bear to see his expression, so I quickly turned my head away.
The magic the flower held flowed fully into me.
The child, sobbing, placed a hand over my ear.
Her small hand was covered in blood. Through it, I felt sensations I hadn’t realized.
Not only her mouth, but blood also ran from her nose and ears.
I wiped her nose with the back of my hand, and her sobs grew louder.
“…Stop it. You’ll be punished by God too.”
“It’s alright. She’ll forgive us.”
It was a foolish thought, yet I felt certain that the harsh God would forgive me, just as He wouldn’t hate her.
And that certainty proved true.
The divine power that had punished her was drawn into me.
It must have been heavy as punishment, yet it felt warm.
Whether it followed my will or forgave the child, it was a good thing for me.
Gradually, my holy power grew and began to overwhelm the magic.
Purification.
It was being purified.
My body trembled violently. Unable to endure with strength alone, I held the child tightly.
Even unseen, I could feel the magic fading.
My heartbeat raced and vision blurred. The loss of reality felt similar to being in the flower’s memory.
I realized the white light was spreading through my body.
Finally, the magic disappeared completely.
Holding the child, I struggled to speak.
“Are you ready?”
The child nodded through her tears.
“Good.”
Without calming the remaining holy power, I gathered it once more.
I felt the child’s trembling.
Her emotions were transmitted exactly as they were.
I parted my chapped lips.
“Now, vanish.”
The white light enveloped us. It grew so dense I could see nothing around me.
The child in my arms disappeared. The withered flower bloomed one last time, then crumbled into fragments.
The tiny flower dust scattered around me.
The white light faded, and I opened my eyes.
The flower was gone. I remained sitting where I had been.
I looked down at my open hands. They were no longer trembling.
At the voice calling me from behind, I slowly rose and turned.
I met Cardin’s eyes.
