Chapter 104
Kyle said it couldn’t be helped, but my thoughts were different.
Even now that he’s fully grown, what’s the point of blaming his unfortunate childhood? Experiences from childhood can’t serve as an excuse for mistakes forever. Facing the past isn’t about using it as an excuse—it’s about standing up on top of it.
Instead of a mature adult, the wounded child inside him completely dominated Kyle’s body and mind.
“Don’t you feel pity for someone like me?”
“…”
“So I want you to help me.”
Click.
The small jewelry box in the emperor’s hand opened. Inside was a ring set with a pink diamond—one said to be hard to obtain.
“I prepared this for you. Please become my empress.”
Ah, so he brought me to a scenic place to propose.
Once again, a wave of sadness washed over me. If I weren’t the one receiving this proposal, anyone else would have readily accepted him.
He had never been more beautiful, the gem sparkled, the scenery was perfect. And there was a perfect narrative to go with it.
But the one who should have been here wasn’t me—it should have been Amelia.
I steeled my heart once again.
“Your Majesty, I will not become your empress.”
After the pang of regret, the words that came out of my mouth were a refusal.
Regret is regret, and a proposal is a proposal. That’s that, and this is this.
Just because one understands a narrative doesn’t mean one can blindly accept someone’s heart, right?
Above all, the feeling called love is entirely different from understanding or sympathy.
My answer was a sharp rebuke to the one lost in illusions.
Break free from the childhood you’ve locked yourself into. Stop your self-pity. Stand up, lift your head, and face reality squarely. That was what I wanted to say, hidden in my refusal.
Kyle clenched his fists, trembling with rage. He didn’t seem willing to accept my refusal at all.
“No, you’re my fiancée and the future empress.”
He had already decided the answer.
He had planned a perfect scenario to suit himself and expected me to just read the script that fit my role. He didn’t want to hear a wrong answer.
“Just remember this. There will be no changes from now on.”
Kyle delivered his final word. There was no room for negotiation.
Kyle said he felt pitiful, but in truth, I’m the most pitiful!
After all, I went through all the trouble of possessing my favorite novel, only to be separated from him.
Sigh.
I slumped onto the table, letting my upper body collapse. At my deep sigh, Nian, who was nearby, looked at me with concern. Every night before falling asleep, he came to my room, worried about me in the enemy territory.
“I miss him…”
As soon as Nian, who had been watching me, heard my murmuring, he furrowed his brow. A dissatisfied voice slipped out.
“What is it? You miss His Highness the Grand Duke at a time like this?”
“I miss him because it’s a time like this. He’s not by my side.”
“Oh my. True love, huh? True love.”
“You just realized that now?”
As we bickered, a tapping sound came from the window—kok-kok-kok. More precisely, it sounded like something sharp was knocking on the glass. And it felt oddly familiar.
I lifted my upper body abruptly.
“What’s that sound?”
“It seems a guest has come.”
A sense of nostalgia welling up in my brain made me rush to the window. As I drew back the curtain, a round-eyed, big-eyed owl peeked at me.
“Okhee!”
“Ok.”
With a joyful cry, I quickly opened the window. Just like when Okhee had entered my room before, it flew in familiarly.
“How long has it been? Have you been well? I really missed you!”
I blurted out my words like a rapid-fire gun, picking up Okhee and dancing around with it. Nian watched with his head tilted in curiosity.
“How on earth did it get in?”
He muttered seriously.
“Why?”
Flap. As I approached Nian, Okhee flapped its wings and landed on the table.
“There’s a barrier around the imperial castle. Especially in Lady Eilin’s room, I set a strong one, so nobody can pass through.”
As he said, the people allowed to enter my room were limited: the emperor, the chief chamberlain, the head maid and her attendants, and Nian.
“Didn’t Nian let it in?”
“Not me.”
“Really?”
By his account, it was indeed strange.
I stared at Okhee, whom I hadn’t seen in a long time.
“Incredible. How did you get here?”
“Ok-ok.”
In response to my question, Okhee looked innocent, as if it didn’t know anything.
Nian sprang up from his seat and approached Okhee.
“This won’t do. I’ll cast a spell on this owl.”
“Excuse me? A spell?”
“A trace-back spell. Someone could have enchanted this creature to spy on Lady Eilin. For safety, I should check.”
As he reached out, Okhee startled and flew behind me. Seeing the frightened creature, I felt a surge of pity.
“Does it hurt?”
“It might sting a little.”
“Then you can’t. It’ll scare him.”
“No, safety is at stake. Does that matter?”
“Yes, it does! That’s enough. I know Okhee well. Don’t suspect him unnecessarily. And he’s not an owl; he’s an actual owl species, not a common one.”
I spread my arms wide to block Nian, who clicked his tongue in disbelief. Okhee hid behind me, clinging closely.
“Oh, fine. Do as you please.”
Seeing my firm resolve, Nian gave up and sat back down. He seemed a little sulky but didn’t hand over Okhee. Feeling guilty for being harsh to him, I nudged his side.
“You know I’m always grateful to you, right?”
“I don’t know.”
Nian abruptly turned his head to the side. Suddenly, he jumped back—Okhee’s face was right in front of him.
“Ah, you startled me, you little owl!”
“Ok-ok.”
Annoyed, Nian reached for Okhee. The owl flapped high into the air, dodging his hands. Its “ok-ok” sounds were unusually cheerful.
As the night deepened, Nian left first, leaving me alone with Okhee. Though we couldn’t converse, having someone linked to Raymond nearby warmed my heart.
“Stay a little longer. It’ll be dangerous if you stay too long.”
“Ok-ok.”
“I feel bad I don’t have sunflowers and water for you.”
“Ok.”
I’ll make sure to bring them when you go back.
I swallowed my words and smiled sadly. My heart was already yearning for Raymond, but for now, I had to endure a little longer for him.
“From tomorrow, lessons will proceed according to His Majesty’s orders. Please refer to this schedule.”
Early in the morning, the new chief chamberlain approached me and abruptly handed over a paper.
I accepted it with a bewildered look. The paper detailed a schedule for tea lessons, social dance lessons, etiquette lessons, and more.
“As the future empress, please follow along to prepare for your role.”
“Huh.”
I sighed in disbelief. I refused, yet now I’m being told to attend, right?
“And if you refuse?”
“The future empress has no right to refuse.”
Kelrn, the emperor’s new chief chamberlain, was a stoic man. Unlike the previous chamberlain, Count Livingston, who was stiff yet emotional, Kelrn delivered only objective facts, as he was doing now.
He took back the paper, checked the list with a quill, and asked me:
“If there are any lessons you wish to take, please let me know, Your Highness the Future Empress.”
I crossed my arms and leaned back. You want me to say what I want when I clearly don’t want to do anything? But as I thought, a few seemed appealing.
“Equestrian lessons.”
“The emperor himself will teach them.”
“Huh? Why would His Majesty?”
“As a god, he cannot know your true intentions.”
Why does he have to teach personally? That’s burdensome.
Well, since he said he’ll teach, I had nothing to say, so I added another request.
“Then add magic lessons too.”
“Magic…?”
For the first time, emotion appeared on his rigid face. I could tell it was displeasure, but still, showing emotion was some progress.
“You speak oddly. I will pass your request on, but don’t expect too much.”
“Just pass it on.”
“Understood, Your Highness the Future Empress.”
Every sentence had “Your Highness the Future Empress,” which felt like he was teasing me. It felt sarcastic, like shackling my chest. He insists on calling me that even though I don’t want it, right?
I couldn’t ignore it. I took a deep breath, placed both hands on my waist.
“But you know…”
“Yes, Your Highness the Future Empress.”
“Since I am the future empress, may I speak to you informally? Isn’t that right, Chamberlain?”
“Eh?”
My sudden change in tone made him flinch.
Though I was a duke’s daughter, Kelrn was technically my superior. Since I hadn’t become empress officially, it was even more so. But soon I’d be empress, so technically I would be his superior, right?
He had no choice but to accept my words, though his mind was conflicted.
“Y-yes, that’s correct.”
He managed a wry smile, his eyebrows twitching.
Right. Always smile at your subordinates. After all, I might become your boss tomorrow. Don’t mess with me. Feeling slightly refreshed after giving that clear warning, I relaxed a little.
