Chapter 7
Going Out (1)
I wrote a letter to Mother.
It was the first letter I had ever written to my parents in my entire life.
I finished breakfast quickly, then clung to that letter for a full three hours…
Only to fall into despair and put down the quill.
“This is… seriously bad.”
Messy handwriting was one thing, but why was all the spelling wrong too?
Letting out a deep sigh, I closed the dictionary. Then I reread what I’d written.
[To Mother.
Hello. I am your daughter, Marie S. Ferdina.
I am healthy.
Brother is healthy too.
Are you healthy, Mother?
Yesterday, I took a walk in the garden with Brother.
Brother and I miss you, Mother.
We will meet soon.
Goodbye.
From Marie Ferdina.]
“Even a kindergarten kid could write better than this.”
Groaning, I collapsed onto my desk, burying my face in my arms and sinking into self-hatred.
In my past life, I never once fell below fifth place in school rankings.
I never attended an academy even once, and I still taught myself English, French, and Spanish!
And yet in this life, even at twenty-one years old, I still hadn’t fully mastered my own language.
Without a dictionary, I couldn’t even write a single proper sentence.
For nobles, reading and writing were the most basic skills of all.
Whether you were male or female, the higher your status, the more paperwork you had to be able to read.
You also had to hand out invitations to countless parties and gatherings to influential figures in every field as naturally as breathing.
And depending on the situation, you needed writing skill sharp enough to shake someone’s heart, whether for contracts, persuasion, or requests.
Of course, none of that applied to me.
I could count on my fingers how few times I’d ever held a pen.
If I needed to write a letter or invitation, I could simply make the head maid or Frank write it for me.
And if there was something I needed to read, I made a maid read it out loud.
It wasn’t like I couldn’t read…
I was just too lazy to do it myself, so I used people.
“Mother won’t collapse from shock if she reads this… right?”
I pushed myself upright, meaning to check the luxurious cream-colored stationery spread across my desk again…
Then I squeezed my eyes shut.
The handwriting looked like it could summon a demon at any moment.
My startled heart thumped wildly.
Calling it “bad handwriting” was far too elegant a word for something this horrifying.
With trembling fingers, I picked up the quill again and carefully added two dots next to the second-to-last line, “Goodbye.”
Two dots, stacked vertically.
Then I drew a small half-circle beside them.
A pathetic attempt to cover grotesque handwriting with “cuteness.”
I drew a smiling face.
[:D]
“……”
It only made it feel more grotesque.
“I need a gift. I need a gift.”
In a panic, I dragged out a blank sheet of paper to cover the demon-summoning spell and pulled the bell cord.
I should buy Mother a gift she’d like and send it together.
If she receives a pretty gift along with the letter, maybe the shock of the letter will be softened a little.
…Maybe?
“Did you call for me, Miss?”
When Rosebell came into the room after hearing the call, I told her to help me prepare to go out.
“Where are you going?”
“To buy a gift for Mother. I’m sending it with the letter.”
“The madam will already be happy enough just receiving a letter written by you, Miss.”
“I’m not happy enough, so no. While I’m out, let’s stop by a bookstore too and see if they have vocabulary books or handwriting practice notebooks.”
At the words “bookstore,” Rosebell’s eyes widened like she couldn’t believe it.
I twisted my lips into a villain-like grin.
“When I decide to do something, I do it. Grammar? I’ll chew it all up and swallow it clean within three months.”
***
I came out without a plan…
But I didn’t actually know what Mother liked.
“Back then, giving cash solved everything…”
“Huh? Gold?”
“No. No, never mind.”
Leaving the puzzled Rosebell behind, I walked into a jewelry store first.
“Welcome, Miss Ferdina.”
A familiar face had been waiting near the entrance and bowed slightly as I entered.
I stared at her blankly, because I couldn’t remember who she was right away.
The middle-aged woman visibly trembled, then bowed even deeper, low enough that I could almost see the top of her head.
Once I recognized the familiar shape of her neatly styled hair, I remembered.
It was Mrs. Austin, the manager of the jewelry shop.
“It’s been a while.”
“Yes, Miss Ferdina. It is an infinite honor that you have visited our shop again.”
After exchanging greetings with Mrs. Austin, who bowed and scraped so much it was almost sickening, I already felt tired.
But I didn’t show it.
It was as I was being guided deeper into the shop.
“Oh my? Miss Ferdina?”
You know how everyone has experienced this at least once.
That strange moment where, just from hearing someone’s voice, you can tell within 0.1 seconds whether they like you or hate you.
Like some kind of possession.
An unpleasant encounter where the speaker’s firm determination to destroy you today gets transferred straight into you, like Bluetooth syncing.
“Judging by your complexion, I guess the rumor that you were sick was true?”
Instead of greeting me, the woman immediately insulted my face, saying I looked awful.
I stared at her.
Puffy curly hair.
Thin eyebrows.
Thick double eyelids.
Cheekbones that stuck out.
She felt unfamiliar, but also familiar.
Since her identity didn’t pop into my head right away, I dug through my memory hard.
But maybe I glared at her without realizing it.
“Oh my! How scary.”
With narrow lips that gave off a petty impression, she said “scary” twice in a row, and her eyes shone with anticipation.
I understood instantly what she was expecting.
She was trying to do what was currently popular in the capital.
Something people called “stepping in shit.”
To explain simply…
She was basically a moth drawn to flames, hoping to join the high-society club of people who tried to “teach a lesson” to the infamous villainess Marie Ferdina, failed, and got beaten up.
Well, I can’t exactly meet her expectations…
If I couldn’t even remember who she was, then it was obvious she wasn’t someone I was close enough to explain kindly:
“I’m reforming now, so I can’t perform the kind of evil you’re hoping for.”
After deciding that, I turned around without hesitation.
But the woman must have felt ignored, because her sharp voice flew at me aggressively.
“Miss Ferdina! How rude of you!”
“Rude?”
I was speechless.
No matter how much people disliked me, there had never been anyone reckless enough to come at me like this, without any respect at all.
Sure, I had a negative reputation…
But in this kingdom, there wasn’t a single citizen of Anacra who didn’t know the position of Marie Spring Ferdina.
And that woman was a noble in high society, wasn’t she?
I was one of the ten most noble women in the kingdom.
The most noble woman was the queen, the mother of the nation.
Next came the crown princess.
Then the prince’s wife.
Then the three princesses.
Below them came the three ducal houses, who stood above every other noble family without exception.
The ladies of the three ducal houses…
Meaning my mother, the Duchess of Ferdina, and the Duchess of Bastian…
Together held the seventh rank.
House Mahel’s duchess had passed away long ago, and like Bastian, the family had only sons and no daughters.
So naturally, the next rank, the ninth, became mine.
What that meant was…
In this insanely strict class society, I was basically top-tier royalty-adjacent.
The top 0.001%.
A very, very important high-class special bloodline.
And yet this nobody, someone who didn’t even take up one microgram of space in my brain’s memory cells, dared to stop me first.
She didn’t greet me.
She insulted me.
Then she lectured me about manners and tried to pick a fight.
I stepped closer and asked, my voice dropping lower.
“You… just said I was rude? To me?”
“You turned your back on me while I was speaking! That’s against etiquette!”
Where did she learn etiquette, from the soles of her feet?
At that moment, I couldn’t help but hesitate.
Should I follow my old pattern and scream abuse and cause a scene?
Or should I calmly and logically tear her apart and teach her that real life isn’t a game?
If I forced myself to act evil, it would only give her exactly what she wanted, and I didn’t want to do that.
And thinking of the promise I made to my brother, I absolutely shouldn’t cause trouble.
Even if she started it.
But if I simply let her go like this…
It would mean I was ignoring a direct insult to House Ferdina, a subordinate’s rebellion.
The best outcome would be to scold her properly, make her reflect, receive an apology, and end it there.
But judging by how far gone she looked, I didn’t think I’d get the beautiful ending I wanted.
More than anything…
The biggest reason I hesitated was because I didn’t want to trample someone with money and power anymore, the way I used to.
Because I didn’t want to become the kind of power-abusing scum I hated so much in my past life.
That brief hesitation must have planted bloated confidence in the woman.
With her chin lifted high, she stepped right up beside me.
Then she looked down at me with eyes full of contempt, lowered her voice so only I could hear, and sneered.
“Even stupidity has limits. You worthless trash that can’t be saved, not even with that fake ‘saint’ title your family bought with money. You still don’t get it and you’re walking around with your head held high? After being thrown away by the Gentleman in White and dumped with an annulment, who do you think would ever take you? You’re finished.”
With her thumb, she mimed cutting her throat.
And as I watched her, I thought:
Should I just hit her?
Forget rumors. Just smash her.
Now I didn’t even need to worry about “settlement money” anymore.
What should I do…
Just as I almost fell into that moment of torment…
The one who saved me was someone unexpected.
