Chapter 39
“No!”
I denied it, but even I knew my words weren’t believable. My face was hot, and my voice cracked as I shouted.
Anyone could see I was lying.
―…Shuri.
In a tone full of disappointment, the voice made me flare up. I opened my mouth, then quickly closed it. Saying anything now wouldn’t help me at all.
No, but this really isn’t right! Can someone who said they’d take revenge in a tiny way actually end up liking the person?
Huh. Calm down. Maybe I’m just excited for a moment. Me, liking Kiel? What is this, a herbivore lion or something!
―Why won’t you admit it? Humans usually like someone when they fall in love!
“Rel, it’s different for everyone. Some might like someone, others might feel fear.”
And that fact itself was hard for me to accept.
When I finished speaking, the Holy Sword said nothing. I couldn’t tell what it was thinking. But I felt Rel must understand my situation.
If I counted the burdens I carry, there were many.
Saving the Duke and Duchess, dealing with black magic that didn’t exist in the original story, uncovering hidden parts of my diary—all of this I had to handle.
And there were other small things too. I sighed deeply, feeling conflicted.
“Rel, I don’t have time for romance. You know that.”
Some might say I should just relax, but as the author, I felt responsible.
And it had to be Kiel I liked. No, I don’t like him! Never!
“Alena, you… what happened?”
Ventus seemed to sense my presence through magic or energy, because he opened the door without knocking.
I didn’t know my expression, but judging from his reaction, it wasn’t good.
He came close, growling in a deep voice.
“Who is it?”
“No one!”
My playful answer didn’t satisfy him; a crease appeared on his handsome face. Still, I had no intention of telling the truth.
Even after three lives, I had been busy and had too much to do. I didn’t even know the ‘R’ of romance. I thought this strange feeling would fade quickly.
If it were easy, it would have already faded.
“Let’s go! You’re planning a surprise birthday party, right? Everyone will be shocked if they notice!”
“…Wait.”
“I’m so excited—”
“Alena!”
Ventus shouted loudly. The cheerful mood immediately froze, and I stiffened my face.
“…Ventus. I keep telling you, the person in front of you is Shurier Klamback. She lived Alena’s life, but she isn’t the real Alena.”
If I were Alena, I’d have the mature personality she had. Living mostly on battlefields, saving people, feeling guilty if I failed.
But now, I am Shurier.
I carry parts of Alena, the heroic sword’s owner, and parts of Jang Soo-hyun from Korea, who lived a pampered life with her father and grandmother.
When all these stories surfaced, Ventus’s pupils widened in shock.
This is why I didn’t want to connect past and present lives.
It made me dizzy.
To Ventus, it might seem harsh, but I hated being called Alena again. It felt like I’d have to live a life full of death and fighting.
Back when I was Alena, the emperor whispered:
“Be worthy of being the sword’s owner.”
I didn’t realize how horrible that was.
When I first held the sword, at 19, I faced insults like “women can’t be knights,” but I proved myself and became captain.
Before I was 20, I became the sword’s owner. Going to the dragon wasn’t bad; I was happy to have companions.
But after completing the contract with the dragon, peace was rare. I always had to fight. The emperor pressured me to fulfill my duties, even though I didn’t choose to be the sword’s owner.
Anyone I failed to save was completely my fault.
“Ugh…”
I felt nauseated. My stomach turned. No one was bleeding, yet I saw blood on my hands as if it were real.
I took deep breaths, recalling happier memories.
I didn’t want my birthday to feel this miserable.
“Sh-Shuri, breathe. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
Ventus patted my back repeatedly, apologizing. He probably never imagined my reaction came from Alena’s part of me.
Of course, he’s a dragon. He wouldn’t understand.
And I knew it wasn’t his fault. He just remembered Alena when calling me.
I spoke.
“…It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”
“…You, no. Okay, I’ll go later. You go ahead to the dining hall.”
“Okay.”
Stepping out of the heavy room, the servants looked startled by my sudden appearance.
I hid my uneasy feelings and forced a smile.
Today was my day to smile.
Even knowing I shouldn’t like him, I still wanted to see Kiel.
Ah… I want to cry.
“Sword.”
Ventus’s low, splitting voice echoed through the room. His aura made the air tense.
“Answer me.”
He used dragon speech even though he knew the sword wouldn’t respond. His presence was overwhelming.
―Ugh. Why so scary, Ventus?
Rel realized that this really was a dragon.
“Who are you?”
―Rel doesn’t get what you’re saying!
“Answer before I break the sword with all my strength.”
Ventus pressed his magic around the sword. Rel swallowed nervously.
Even knowing the sword couldn’t break, Rel worried for a moment. A dragon is a dragon.
―If Rel disappears, Shuri would be sad… still okay?
Rel used herself as a shield for Shuri, strengthening her presence.
The sword showed its true form, and Ventus laughed lazily.
“Even if you break it, Shuri will trust me. Right?”
Confidence mixed with trust.
Ventus knew Shuri as well as the sword did. He knew her past, her weaknesses, and most of her intentions.
Could she truly abandon him if he broke the sword?
“Of course, I’d keep some distance, but in the end, she’d be by my side.”
A solid trust doesn’t collapse in a moment.
She would believe there must be a reason. All he had to do was answer with a mix of truth and lies.
―Hmm. What if I come down and tell the truth again?
“…There’s only one sword, right?”
―It’s never broken, right? It can’t be broken by force anyway. So naive.
“Ha. So you won’t speak?”
Ventus smiled slightly, but his eyes were cold.
Both Ventus and the sword had been teased by Shuri before, but neither was weak. Shuri was unique because she valued both.
―What’s the point of telling? It doesn’t match my calculation.
Rel repeated Ventus’s calculation silently, hiding a laugh.
At the same time, she felt pity for him.
In the future Rel saw, Shuri’s place was Kiel’s, not Ventus’s.
“What do you want?”
―Pfft. Nothing.
Rel’s smirk made Ventus furious. He wanted to turn the sword to ashes immediately.
―Hmm. Then let’s leave a debt. How about that?
“…Fine. Speak.”
―Kiel. She met him, and that changed everything.
Rel stopped talking, letting it be.
Ventus’s expression darkened, his magic swirling violently. Rel stuck out her tongue.
This was cause and effect.
Shuri had a fated path, but Ventus had opportunities too.
But when Alena lived, he never realized her feelings and pursued pretty women and treasures. So he became like a brother or family to Shuri.
Rel couldn’t imagine Ventus ever liking her.
Poor thing.
Rel pitied Ventus.
“Miss? When did you get here? I didn’t see you enter the hall!”
I met Header on the stairs. She looked surprised.
“Ahaha. With, magic?”
“Miss!”
Startled by her shout, I laughed without realizing it. My gloomy mood lightened.
Yes! Gloom doesn’t suit me! Everything will be fine! Let’s go!
I smacked my cheeks, clenched my fists. Header looked startled by my loud voice, but I ignored it.
I played dumb. Completely.
“Header. Is the surprise birthday party still being prepared?”
“Yes! It’s not fully ready, heh!”
Telling the truth wouldn’t help. I laughed.
“Until this morning, you didn’t know. When did you notice?”
I was speechless. I remembered Kiel pressing his forehead to mine earlier.
He wanted to celebrate me on my birthday. My face burned again just thinking about it.
Ah! I don’t like him! I said I don’t like him! Why do I keep thinking about it!
I pushed away the thoughts, cooling my face with my hands.
“Miss? Your face is red. Are you unwell?”
“No! Totally fine!”
I said it vigorously, but my voice sounded strange. Header didn’t ask further. She seemed suspicious but let it go.
“The master and mistress will return soon.”
“Ah, okay! But where did they go?”
“Um… not sure?”
Header’s awkward answer made me narrow my eyes. Something was off. Likely about my birthday.
“Did they maybe order a custom birthday gift and went to pick it up?”
“……”
Bingo. That’s exactly it.
She avoided my gaze, lips pressed tightly, confirming it.
I didn’t expect to guess right the first try.
“I’ll pretend I don’t know, Header.”
“…Really, Miss?”
“Of course!”
“Please! The master and mistress were so happy imagining your surprise!”
Ah, mom and dad are too cute.
Talking with her, I felt lighter.
I couldn’t go back to my room, so I decided to check the dining hall where my birthday party was being prepared.
Balloons, flowers, chocolate fondue, magic for capacity, and even a large-scale illusion magic still in preparation. The hall was chaotic.
If I hadn’t suggested a small family party in the past, it might have been even grander with guests.
…But is this really okay?
I wondered seriously if I should teach them what “small and cozy” means.
