Chapter 114
“Comic café? A comic café… Oh, that sounds good?”
Jiwoo scrolled the mouse wheel down. There were several decent comic cafés near the school.
Oh, you can watch Nyangflix there, and even play Mintendo. Wow, this is basically heaven.
Jiwoo skimmed through the interior photos. You could go into room-like spaces and read comics. They weren’t completely sealed off, but unless you deliberately peeked inside, you couldn’t really see what someone was doing in there.
This would be perfect to stay comfortably with Noeul for a long time. They even have cushions inside. Light cuddling between the two of us would probably be fine…
Honestly, Jiwoo did want to go on a date at someone’s studio apartment. Since both Noeul and Jiwoo lived alone, how comfortable would it be to meet there? No need to decide where to go every time. You’d save money. You could order food whenever. And above all, you could avoid people’s eyes.
But suggesting meeting at her place first felt a bit awkward. Didn’t it kind of imply something else? Like “Want to come over for ramen?” Even if Jiwoo had no such intention, it would definitely be taken that way. And explaining herself afterward would just look pathetic.
…That said, Jiwoo couldn’t exactly claim she had absolutely no “such intentions” either…. It was more like… she didn’t intend anything, but if something did happen… she wouldn’t desperately try to stop it…. That kind of stance, maybe? Anyway, it wasn’t like Jiwoo was actively trying to make something happen. …Yeah. Totally not.
If they went to a comic café this time, maybe she could casually say something like, “If we’re spending money here, wouldn’t it be better to just watch at home?” Would that be too obvious? Is there a way to drop a hint without making it too obvious? If she did that a few times, wouldn’t Noeul eventually say, “Then should we just watch at my place?”
Jiwoo grinned to herself.
Looks like I’ll have to seriously look up comic cafés for a while.
-
“…There are things he’s really good about… and things that are kind of uncomfortable too.”
-
“Noeul doesn’t really like crowded places. …You guys know, right? Sometimes you just want to go somewhere bustling.”
At Jiwoo’s words, most of the girls nodded vehemently. Every single girl there was extremely “E”-type.
In truth, Jiwoo had deliberately made Noeul sound like a homebody. She knew that no matter how nice a guy was, if he didn’t hang out with them outside, their interest dropped sharply.
She didn’t like the girls eyeing Noeul. Of course, since Noeul was dating Jiwoo, they wouldn’t openly try to flirt with him. Still, she hated the idea of them secretly harboring feelings for him. She didn’t even want them to imagine, even once, “He’d actually be pretty good to date.” She wished Noeul wouldn’t even cross their minds.
Of course, Jiwoo liked going out too. But when it came to dates, she preferred places with few people, quiet and private. That way they could talk more, touch a little—wasn’t that the point?
Buzz—
At that moment, a DalTalk message came from Noeul.
[ Noeul: We’re meeting this weekend, right? ]
A smile naturally spread across Jiwoo’s face.
[ Jiwoo: Yeah, of course! Haha ]
Jiwoo copied the link to the comic café she’d found earlier, planning to suggest it. But another message from Noeul arrived first.
[ Noeul: Then do you want to go to Longdae World? ]
…? Longdae World?
Jiwoo tilted her head. After hesitating, she replied.
[ Jiwoo: Oooh, sounds good! ㅇ0ㅇ But won’t it be super crowded? On weekends it’ll be packedddd ]
[ Noeul: That’s part of the fun, haha ]
Jiwoo scratched her neck.
Longdae World… she wasn’t that excited about it. It would probably just be crowded and exhausting. Sure, screaming together on the Viking ride, wearing headbands, eating churros with Noeul would be fun. But… wouldn’t it be more fun to be pressed close together, rubbing against each other?
Still, Noeul might genuinely want to go to an amusement park. Maybe it was his dream to go there once he got a girlfriend—wasn’t that possible? She couldn’t just say she didn’t want to go, thinking only of herself.
Jiwoo replied.
[ Jiwoo: Okaaay, sounds good! >_< ]
-
Come on, man. Jiwoo said she’s upset. Because she can’t go out to crowded places.
After hearing that, he left the lab and sat on a bench outside the building for a while.
It felt shocking. What exactly was so shocking? Was it that Jiwoo actually had complaints about Noeul? That was the first shock. He’d unconsciously assumed that Jiwoo had no complaints about him at all.
Jiwoo had never once voiced dissatisfaction to Noeul. So he’d grown complacent. He thought Jiwoo liked everything about him. Even though he knew people couldn’t possibly have no complaints about someone, for some reason he believed Noeul would be the exception. Had he thought that rule applied to everyone else but not to him?
Then came the second shock: realizing how pathetic his own thinking was. How could Jiwoo not have complaints about him? Even having nothing but complaints wouldn’t be strange. Switch perspectives. Imagine your girlfriend is extremely ugly. You have to stick with her every day and introduce her to people as your girlfriend. Every moment would be full of dissatisfaction.
And yet, he thought Jiwoo wouldn’t feel that way. Why? Who did he think he was? What made Han Noeul so great or special?
It was humiliating to realize he’d thought of himself as special. He’d believed he was someone who saw himself objectively. Someone who didn’t harbor pointless expectations.
Sure. It’s normal to have complaints. But why hadn’t Jiwoo told him? Why did she act like everything was fine in front of him, only to talk about it to others? Did she want to avoid conflict with him? Did she just think, “I’ll endure it”?
Did Jiwoo feel like she was treating this relationship like volunteer work? Patient Jiwoo enduring, superior Jiwoo accommodating inferior Noeul, hiding her disappointment—enduring and “giving,” meeting and “giving.”
…Why? Noeul had never wanted that kind of relationship. He’d never asked her for that. …Ah. Is that something you don’t say out loud? Does it just get decided naturally as you date—who’s the one being met, and who’s the one doing the meeting?
Thinking that Jiwoo felt that way about their relationship made Noeul want to break up immediately. He wanted to say, “I never asked for this, and if it’s hard for you too, I don’t want a relationship like that.”
…Of course, he couldn’t actually say that. In his imagination, he boldly declared he wouldn’t do that kind of relationship—but in reality, he couldn’t quit so easily. He was getting too much out of being with Jiwoo.
Thanks to Jiwoo, he wasn’t lonely. Thanks to her, his self-esteem had risen a lot. Thanks to her, he’d experienced so many fluttering moments. And above all… the probability of a woman like Jiwoo liking him again was extremely low. So letting Jiwoo go wasn’t just losing one person—it was losing one of the few great strokes of luck in his life.
What are you even complaining about, Han Noeul? You’re just dating Jiwoo for your own sake too. It’s not like you’re with her out of some grand love or selfless devotion. So why are you acting like the victim?
Right. People live thinking only of their own interests. Dating is no different. It’s just a relationship bound by mutual benefit. Noeul couldn’t insist only on his own position. He had to accept Jiwoo’s too. That’s how a relationship survives—by adjusting and being considerate of each other little by little.
So there was nothing to be sad about. Nothing to be angry about.
“The line seriously isn’t moving at all, huh?” Jiwoo said.
She was wearing a rabbit headband.
“…But we’ve moved up a lot compared to earlier. I think if we wait about 30 more minutes, it’ll be our turn.”
Wearing a panda headband, Noeul craned his neck forward to look ahead.
He wanted to rip the headband off. It felt like people were whispering about him. That ugly bastard wearing a headband that doesn’t suit him at all. He’s trying to be funny, right? Isn’t he a comedian? He felt like he could hear it all.
But he couldn’t take it off. Then Jiwoo would notice how uncomfortable he was. And wouldn’t that be the same as sulking about coming to a crowded place?
He couldn’t complain about something like this. This wasn’t a sacrifice, nor was he being wronged. It was basic consideration you were supposed to show in a relationship. A process of mutual adjustment. Jiwoo must also be adjusting to him, doing many things for him without showing it. So he had to endure this much.
Noeul tried to change his mindset.
Honestly, always hiding away just because you’re ugly and full of inferiority isn’t a good thing. Being able to walk around confidently anywhere is better. Let’s think of this as overcoming that. You should get used to coming to places like this. How long are you going to keep hiding—especially while dating a pretty girl like Jiwoo?
“Is there anything else you want to do?” Noeul said, forcing a cheerful tone.
“No, I’m okay. Want to ride this and then take a short break?”
“What, isn’t there something else you want to ride?”
“Hmm… is there something you want to ride more?”
“Well… the Gyro Swing? I heard it’s fun.”
“Ah… then should we ride that?”
“Yeah. Let’s do that.”
Jiwoo nodded with a smile.
Right. What was the point of coming all this way and constantly saying he didn’t like things? Since they were here, they should enjoy it. Let Jiwoo do everything she wanted to do.
Then a couple caught his eye. While waiting for the ride, they kept taking selfies. They kissed, hugged, took pictures with back hugs—completely unconcerned with anyone else. The girl wasn’t prettier than Jiwoo, but the guy was far more handsome than Noeul.
Noeul glanced at Jiwoo. She must have seen them too. Didn’t she want to take pictures like that? Or was she holding back because she knew Noeul hated taking photos? Was she thinking, If only Noeul looked as good as that guy, we could take pictures and have fun too?
His thoughts kept spiraling in that direction again.
He even considered suggesting they take a picture together. But there was no way… he could take a selfie with Jiwoo in the middle of this crowd. He’d probably be too embarrassed and tense to even smile properly. And even if Jiwoo liked him… who knew whether she’d actually enjoy taking pictures with him in a place like this?
“…If you see a spot where you want to take pictures, tell me. I’ll take them for you,” Noeul said.
“Oh, okay. Sure,” Jiwoo replied brightly.
Noeul bit his lip. That was all he could say.
He suddenly found himself wondering why he was so ugly. Normally he didn’t think about it much, but coming to places like this made it painfully obvious—how big a flaw his looks were.
He wanted to enjoy himself… but he just couldn’t.
Looking at the still-long line, Noeul thought,
‘…This date is exhausting.’
