Chapter 113
“See you tomorrow,” Hansol said.
“Mm~ They say it’s going to be super cold tomorrow. Dress warm!” Jiwoo said.
“Okay~.” Hansol waved and walked away.
“Hmm, it’s a shame we couldn’t have dinner together tonight,” Jiwoo said, linking arms with Noeul.
“It couldn’t be helped,” Noeul replied, covering Jiwoo’s linked arm with her own hand.
Jiwoo laughed, “Hehe.”
Noeul and Jiwoo walked toward the subway station.
“…….”
Noeul recalled Hansol’s expression back at the café. His face had looked indifferent the whole time. As if he didn’t care at all whether Jiwoo touched Noeul’s face or linked arms with her.
But normally, if friends were acting like that right in front of you, wouldn’t at least one curse slip out? Like, Get a room, or I can’t watch this. For Hansol to react the way he did—didn’t that mean he was desperately trying to look like he felt nothing at all?
And if that were the case, why was he enduring it like that? Wouldn’t it be because there was something inside him that wasn’t allowed to come out naturally? So he was blocking all reactions altogether. Because it was too hard to separate, one by one, which reactions were okay to show as a friend and which came from liking Noeul—and decide what to let out and what to suppress.
“…….”
Maybe Noeul was just imagining things. After all, it could simply be that Hansol had named a game cat after her name, nothing more. What name should I use? Should I just go with Han Noeul? And then beat it up sometimes?—maybe he’d laughed and named it like that.
But maybe Noeul was arrogantly thinking, Ah… he must have liked me so much to name a game cat after me. Deep down, the thought crossed her mind that if it really were something that trivial, she’d feel a little disappointed.
Ha… so what exactly were Hansol’s feelings right now?
If Hansol didn’t like Noeul, then a situation like this wouldn’t bother him at all. But if he did like her, this would be unbearably painful. Watching the person you like flirt with another woman right in front of you, while having to pretend you’re fine. Noeul had experienced that plenty of times—she knew exactly how painful it was.
What if Hansol started avoiding Noeul and Jiwoo because of this?
Then she’d end up spending more time alone with Jiwoo, which might be a good thing. But… more than that, she didn’t want to lose Hansol.
When the three of them were together, it might be better if Jiwoo and Noeul didn’t act too much like a couple. Just like all three of them were equal friends. So Hansol could feel comfortable too.
But how could she stop Jiwoo from being physically affectionate with her in front of Hansol? If she told Jiwoo not to, Jiwoo would probably feel hurt. She might think Noeul was being awkward or pathetic. And then what if she got discouraged and stopped approaching Noeul altogether?
Still, Noeul liked it when Jiwoo touched her—especially when it was just the two of them. She didn’t want to give that up entirely…
Noeul took Jiwoo’s hand that was holding her arm and slipped it into the pocket of her coat. Jiwoo looked up at her with a giggle. Noeul lightly patted Jiwoo’s head with her palm.
“What was that?” Jiwoo asked, laughing.
“A modified version of petting.”
“Haha, what even is that?”
“Just changing it up so it’s not cliché.”
Jiwoo smiled brightly.
“But… maybe we should cut down on skinship when we’re outside…?” Noeul said, squeezing Jiwoo’s hand tighter inside the pocket.
“…Why?”
“Just… it’s kind of embarrassing? Back when I wasn’t dating, whenever I saw couples being touchy in the subway or cafés, I cursed them out in my head. So I feel like other people might think the same when they see us….”
“…Why does it matter what other people think? They can’t even come up and say it to our faces. All they can do is curse us in their heads.”
“Well… that’s true, but… I’m just shy, I guess. People might not even care that much, but I feel uncomfortable for no reason.”
“Hmm….”
Jiwoo didn’t answer. Instead, she swayed side to side as she walked, as if holding back her irritation.
“Once I get used to it, we can be comfortable again then,” Noeul said.
Jiwoo only shook her head from side to side, still silent.
— Maybe we should cut down on skinship when we’re outside…?
If a certain word came out at a certain moment, it meant there was a reason for that word to come out at that moment. Which meant Noeul said that because there was something that made her uncomfortable about being affectionate with Jiwoo. And there was only one thing that fit that description: Jiwoo being affectionate with Noeul in front of Hansol.
Was it really that unpleasant? Something she could endure in front of other people—but not in front of Hansol? Why?
It wasn’t that Jiwoo couldn’t understand Noeul’s position. Just like how being affectionate with your partner in front of your family can be embarrassing, Noeul might feel awkward doing it in front of a very close friend.
But… no matter how close they were, Hansol wasn’t actually Noeul’s family. If Noeul said that, it would sound like a lie. If Jiwoo brought some guy she knew and said, “He’s like my real older brother,” would Noeul feel good about it? She’d probably think, Still, he’s not actually your brother.
…Or was Jiwoo just being overly wary of Hansol? Was she connecting everything to him, even things Noeul said without any deeper meaning?
Honestly, Jiwoo thought that once she started dating Noeul, she wouldn’t have to worry about things like this. She thought other girls would be too busy chasing handsome guys to recognize Noeul’s worth. At the very least, she thought she wouldn’t have to suffer from jealousy. But look at this—she felt like she was about to develop a jealousy-induced neurosis.
She got angry at even Noeul’s passing, insignificant remarks, and whenever there was the slightest excuse, she connected it to Hansol. Her mood rose and fell depending on Noeul’s words and actions. In contrast, Noeul seemed so calm. It made Jiwoo feel like she was the only one who was jealous, the only one with a bad personality, the only one clinging desperately, the only one who liked Noeul.
Jiwoo hated herself for that. It annoyed her to think that Noeul might see her as a clingy woman with wild mood swings. She didn’t want to be that kind of person. She wanted to be confident, someone who didn’t care too much about what others thought, free, not swayed by emotions…
Yet to the person she most wanted to look good in front of—Noeul—it felt like she was only showing her ugliest side. That hurt her deeply.
Feeling depressed, Jiwoo went into a café.
“Jiwoo~.” Hyemi waved.
Junki, Hyunsu, and a few other classmates were there too. Jiwoo smiled and waved back.
“Seriously, you’re such a main character. Look at you, arriving last,” Hyemi said, rolling her eyes.
“Hey, you guys came early. It’s not even the meeting time yet.”
“Yeah, why did we come so early? We look like people with nothing to do,” Junki said.
“True,” Hyunsu nodded.
“Ugh, that’s what happens when you take summer classes.”
“What are you talking about, we’re crazy busy. Right, Hyemi?”
“You just said you had nothing to do.”
“Oops.”
Everyone burst out laughing.
Jiwoo chatted with her classmates for the first time in a while. Hyunsu talked about how he’d recently gone on a group blind date with girls from some university department, who was decent, what happened, and so on. Jihye talked about how it had been her thousandth day with Gyeongjun recently, what he did for her, and so forth…
“Are things going well with Noeul?” Hyunsu asked Jiwoo.
“Yeah, we’re doing well,” Jiwoo said.
A few of them made playful “ooh~” faces. Jiwoo smiled shyly.
“You better be. You’re the century’s couple of the advertising department,” Hyunsu nodded.
“What century’s couple,” Jiwoo laughed.
Then Junki cut in.
“I don’t know what other people think, but I seriously think Noeul is a really good guy.”
“We all think he’s a good guy. Why are you making it sound weird?” Hyunsu said, looking dumbfounded.
“Of course you do, but… anyway, lately I’ve been realizing it anew. How great Noeul really is.”
“What did you realize?” someone asked.
“Noeul… thinks a lot. You guys probably think his personality is just easygoing and nice, but that’s not just his natural disposition. He thinks everything through and considers others. He constantly makes an effort so no one feels uncomfortable and nothing gets awkward.”
Hyemi shoveled a bite of cake into her mouth and said,
“You’re only realizing that now?”
“You knew already?” Junki asked.
“Of course. It’s obvious.”
“Yeah, right.”
“I’m serious. You guys—dumb guys like you—might not notice, but girls have all felt it. Right?” Hyemi looked around at the other girls.
“Right. There’s no such thing as someone who’s just naturally easygoing and nice. People hold back and consider others—that’s why everyone around them feels comfortable,” Jihye nodded.
“See? You guys run your mouths about his looks without realizing he’s accommodating you. Ugh, such elementary-schoolers,” Hyemi said, looking at Hyunsu and Junki with disdain.
“Out of all the guys I know, I think Noeul’s personality is top-tier.”
“Exactly. That’s why he’s dating Jiwoo.”
Jiwoo smiled awkwardly.
Her feelings were strange. It felt nice that they were calling them a well-matched couple, but… she wasn’t entirely happy to hear the girls praising Noeul so much. She’d thought that she was the only one who had recognized Noeul’s worth until now. But suddenly they were all claiming they’d always known how great he was.
Then why didn’t you date him earlier? Why now…?
It felt like they’d been kicking around a stone they thought was worthless, and only after someone picked it up and treasured it did they start showing interest. What’s that? Why’d you pick it up? Is it something good? Let me see too. And then they’d say things like they’d known all along that it wasn’t just a stone, but a gem.
“Honestly, Noeul probably adjusts to you on everything, right?” Hyemi asked. “You’re totally treated like a princess, aren’t you?”
Everyone’s gaze turned to Jiwoo. Jiwoo parted her lips.
“…No, dating is the same for everyone.”
“Come on, even if it’s the same, you guys seem different.”
“…There are things he’s good about… and things that are uncomfortable too.”
“What’s uncomfortable?” someone asked.
“…….”
Noeul went into the department lounge.
“Oh, what the hell, why is this bastard here,” Hyunsu said.
Hyunsu was the only one there.
“I was enjoying having the lounge to myself for once.” Despite his words, Hyunsu looked happy to see Noeul.
“Bullshit. You’re alone here every day anyway.”
“Who says I’m a lonely old man living alone?”
“I never said that.”
“That’s basically what you meant. You think I can’t read between the lines?”
“Look at this guy, mind-reading and all.”
They both snickered.
“Man, your face has really relaxed,” Hyunsu said.
“And what changes if it does?”
“Everything. Before, you were wrinkled ugly. Now you’re smooth ugly.”
“You son of a—”
Hyunsu chuckled and continued.
“Hey, treat Jiwoo better. The guys are furious—they’ve put a bounty on you.”
“Feels like they’d want to kill me whether I treat her well or not.”
“Smart.”
“Yeah. I just dodged a guy holding a beer bottle upside down in the hallway.”
“Pfft, all talk,” Hyunsu said, then thought for a moment. “If I had a girlfriend like Jiwoo, I’d plaster subway ads everywhere.”
“Do it when you get a girlfriend.”
“Do you think she’d be as pretty as Jiwoo?”
“That’d be tough.”
“Exactly. So brag a little. ‘This beautiful woman is mine!’”
“How am I supposed to brag? Wouldn’t that make me a psycho?”
“Just holding hands in crowded places is bragging enough.”
Noeul let out a hollow laugh.
Hyunsu continued,
“Why don’t you go to crowded places? What did Jiwoo do to deserve that? It’s like telling Han River not to flow and telling a novelist not to write. If someone’s got talent, they should use it.”
“…Did you guys put paparazzi on us or something? How do you know where we hang out? Sharp bastard,” Noeul said with a small laugh.
“You’re gonna get dumped by Jiwoo at this rate. You should be worshipping her.”
A sudden uneasy feeling crept over Noeul, and he asked casually,
“…Did Jiwoo say something?”
“Yeah, idiot. She said she was upset. Because you don’t go to crowded places.”
“…….”
Trying to keep a calm expression, Noeul said,
“I just don’t really like crowded places…” Then he asked lightly, “She said that to you? That she was upset?”
“When we had that spontaneous meet-up near campus during the day, remember? She said she wanted to go hang out somewhere lively.”
“…I see. …Ah, sounds like the resentment of countless men,” Noeul said, forcing a joke.
“Yeah. I’m saving your life right now.”
Noeul raised the corner of his lips.
“…Thanks, man.”
