005
“…Yes, I am a girl, too.”
I deliberately smiled with feigned shyness, summoning an embarrassing memory to make my face flush on command.
The image of myself tumbling down the stairs, wrapped in the carpet before a crowd, sent heat rushing to my cheeks effortlessly.
I didn’t conceal my emotions. Instead, I lowered my gaze, my heart racing and my vision trembling.
I wanted to appear naive—people rarely show their true selves to those they underestimate.
And if he claimed to be in love, I was confident I could discern truth from deceit.
I looked at him with difficulty.
‘Speak…’
If he truly intended to suppress the Duchy of Moore, he could’ve issued an imperial decree to cast me aside, handing me over to a house far beneath ours, as if discarding me.
Had he done so after my parents’ death, it would’ve been far easier for him to control both Theo and me.
But it was Damian who chose me. That’s why I became his fiancée.
And if he chose me out of love…
“Ros.”
He called me in a sweet tone, then rose and approached.
His shadow fell over me, sending a shiver through my body. I instinctively shifted to the side.
He stood before the chandelier, its light casting shadows over his eyes, darkening them. His gaze, black as his hair, examined my face.
My reflection gleamed in his deep violet irises.
“Tell me, with what emotion did I call your name?”
His low, soft voice was accompanied by a hand that gently brushed my cheek.
His touch was warm, tingling—but strangely, the fire in my chest was quickly extinguished.
As if a shard of ice had grazed my skin, I feared my heart might stop from the sudden chill.
In his eyes, there was only me. I saw myself in his stare.
Rosalyn—the oblivious, naive girl with wide, astonished eyes.
He slowly bent down. As I closed my eyes, I felt something soft press against my forehead.
It was gentle but burned like a hot iron.
“…Your Highness.”
Though he touched only my forehead, my breath escaped on its own. He returned beside me with quiet grace.
The hand on my cheek moved to my shoulder, while the other covered mine on the sofa.
He smiled.
Then, he slowly lifted my hand and pressed it to his cheek.
His hands were large, fingers long and straight, his lashes half-lowered. The warmth of his skin and the sigh he released felt as though they could melt me.
It was a suffocating sensation.
“With what feeling…”
I will stay by your side.
He didn’t say it, but I read the unspoken words in the movement of his lips.
It was love.
A love that burns everything, like an unquenchable fire.
A love that turns one into a moth drawn to flame, consuming all in its wake.
Perhaps, when he killed my brother, that fire had long since turned to ash.
His black hair brushed my cheek with each gentle caress.
I felt laughter bubbling within me and struggled to maintain composure.
It was fortunate I had the chance to execute the plan I devised in the carriage.
‘How tragic. But I shall never fall in love with a madman, Your Highness.’
Suppressing the laughter that nearly escaped, I opened my mouth.
I didn’t forget to lower my head slightly, like a bashful girl.
“Damian.”
“Ros.”
He echoed my name like a greeting, his voice tinged with subtle tension. My hand, still on his cheek, began to descend slowly.
As my fingers passed the sharp line of his jaw and reached his neck, a sudden urge overtook me—to grip it tightly.
At the same time, I wanted to push him away.
His pulse beat fast and warm, as if my hand were plunged into a blazing oven.
He’s mad.
Who do you think you are? How many times have we even met?
Still, I decided to postpone my words. After all, he hasn’t killed anyone yet.
And I won’t let him.
I raised my head with a shy smile and looked into his eyes.
“What would you think… of advancing our wedding date?”
“…What do you mean?”
A ripple spread across his eyes. I stared into those wavering irises and whispered:
“I wish to marry Damian now, while many still gather to celebrate us.”
The plan I devised in the carriage was simple.
No matter the reason behind my father’s death, Damian killed the emperor to seize the throne.
If that’s true, then he’s destined for the throne regardless—so why hasten the coronation at the risk of rebellion?
The answer lies in his very first act as emperor:
Marrying me, during the coronation ceremony itself.
He needed to wed me as part of his plan. And if that marriage was meant to limit unpredictable elements and monitor the situation personally, I couldn’t avoid it.
“Lately, whenever I see Theo and Estelle together, I feel overwhelmed by loneliness.”
Moreover, even if I broke off the engagement, no one else would propose to me afterward.
Even if his feelings faded, would a proud man like Damian ever allow his former fiancée to be given to another?
That’s why, once I save my siblings, I’ll leave and start anew somewhere else.
Even the Land of Death will do. After its purification, chaos reigns there—no one will notice a former crown princess slipping into the shadows.
“But isn’t it true that you… hold great affection for them? Your relationship with that girl seems close, too.”
His voice naturally dropped, as did mine.
He must mean Estelle.
Since he’s never met her, his words carried a subtle distance.
And as he spoke of Theo and Estelle, he bit his lower lip. His red lips folded inward, then reappeared.
“Yes, we’re close—like true siblings.”
We, the children of House Moore, were known for our strong bond. Estelle was treated like family.
Even Theo, now of marriageable age, had yet to receive a single engagement proposal.
“But in the end, I’ll be alone. For their relationship goes beyond mere siblinghood.”
I lowered my hand from his neck to his chest, locking eyes with him.
“When I saw Theo and Estelle, I wished for a relationship just as precious.”
Then, with a soft smile on my lips, I leaned gently against him.
“And Damian is that person to me.”
When my hand touched his chest, I could feel his heartbeat clearly. It was like holding a live fish in my bare hands.
The feeling was equally suffocating and heavy.
“Isn’t that right, Damian?”
A smile bloomed on his face, and he cradled my cheeks in both hands.
“Of course.”
He slowly leaned in, and I closed my eyes. Now even my own heart pulsed with tension.
I hoped he would interpret it as the fluttering of confusion.
I waited for the return of that soft touch—on my lips or cheek.
But even as my heartbeat gradually calmed, no touch came. The heat on my face began to fade.
Still, the shadow behind my eyelids remained.
“…Damian?”
When I opened my eyes again, his face was right in front of mine, his breath nearly brushing my skin. But his lips were pressed into a firm line.
As I blinked slowly, his eyes curved into crescents.
“Ros, let me ask this—only as a possibility.”
As a possibility? About what?
His hands still framed my face. My cheeks burned with a heat I no longer welcomed.
‘Stay calm.’
There’s no way he knows. Even if he suspects something, he doesn’t know I’m aware of his assassination plan.
As long as he doesn’t read my journal, he won’t suspect me.
What he’s feeling now is no more than unease.
When I resolved this within, he continued:
“Are you hiding something else in your heart?”
My eyes widened in surprise. His lips still smiled, but his eyes did not.
With our faces so close, it was obvious he was trying not to furrow his brows, his lids drawn tight to mask it.
“Never.”
I smiled at him and placed the hand on his chest over the back of his.
“I have Damian by my side.”
Though the truth was he would be the source of my torment.
Did he grow suspicious just from my suggestion to hasten the wedding?
Fortunately, he nodded in reassurance.
“If you feel anything later on, please tell me.”
Though I proposed advancing the wedding, we couldn’t decide the date ourselves while our families were still alive.
So we agreed on a rough time frame, each of us to persuade our parents. Since we both married at a later age, no strong opposition was expected.
Thus, it was settled—the wedding would be held within two weeks, or at most, in a month.
If everything went according to plan, our parents wouldn’t be assassinated due to the marriage.
And when I returned to the palace, I felt my strength completely drained.
