Chapter: 12
“W-what… why are you crying?!”
Huh…? Why are tears coming out?
I hastily rubbed my eyes to wipe them away.
“You…”
“I’m sorry, young master. I’ll be going now!”
I bowed quickly and dashed out of the room.
Even while rushing to my own room, the tears kept falling. Thankfully, there were no other servants in the annex.
No matter how much I wiped my eyes with my sleeve, the moisture would return almost immediately. It was as if my tear glands had broken.
‘Why am I like this all of a sudden…’
Even when I lived in the village, there were times when tears would spring up like this for no apparent reason.
Like on my birthday, when I didn’t even hear a “happy birthday,” let alone receive a present.
When Aunt Emma told me I was useless because I hadn’t earned enough money.
Or just when I suddenly felt lonely for no reason and couldn’t bear it.
I often sobbed alone in a small attic, dimly lit by the moonlight.
‘But this… isn’t sadness that should make me bawl like this.’
Just like the young master said: I am a servant, and Lady Lianne is my mistress.
No matter how kindly they treated me, I should not forget that fact.
The young master was only giving me reasonable advice.
‘Then why does my chest hurt so much?’
Maybe it’s because today was just too joyful.
Because they treated me so kindly.
Because the time I was enjoying was something an ordinary maid could never have.
Because I was a tiny bit… jealous of the warmth and love I wasn’t allowed to receive.
I was running frantically down the corridor, wiping my tears, when—
Thud!
My foot caught the hem of my skirt, and I fell flat on the floor.
“Ouch…”
As I clutched my knee, badly hitting it on the floor, something even more important than my knee caught my attention.
“Ah, my clothes…”
My skirt had been torn.
I quickly examined it. Fortunately, only the hem had ripped a little, so it could be sewn without it being noticeable.
“Phew.”
I was relieved my precious maid outfit wasn’t ruined.
After checking my clothes, I looked at my bright red, scraped knee. The impact had made such a loud noise that there would probably be a bruise by tomorrow.
“What if it hurts so much I can’t even walk when I wake up…”
If the young master pulled the leash, I’d have to go immediately.
If I were even a little late, he’d get annoyed.
I mustered all my strength, both body and mind, and finally reached my room.
After that, my body completely gave out, and I collapsed onto the bed. Pulling the blanket over my head, the tears that had stopped began flowing again as if a dam had burst.
“Waaaahhh…”
I didn’t try to swallow my sobs.
‘If you want to cry, you have to cry.’
Today, I decided I would cry as much as I wanted—to release all my sadness so I could wake up tomorrow with a bright smile.
“…What? What the heck was that?”
Ricardo muttered to himself repeatedly.
Mary’s crying image was still vivid in his mind, refusing to leave.
“Did I really speak that harshly? No, I’ve acted like this before, too.”
Ricardo was aware of it.
That he sometimes treated Mary badly.
Every time he said harsh words to her or teased her, guilt followed immediately. But he always rationalized it with excuses.
She’s my maid, so this is okay.
Besides, no matter how mean he was, Mary seemed unaffected.
“But she’s never cried like that before…”
Because Mary had cried suddenly today, he hadn’t been able to say what he had intended to.
‘It’s fine with me, but she has to be careful in front of my mother.’
The reason he had warned Mary was genuine concern that she might actually get in trouble.
‘Mother hates rude people.’
A servant—or worse, a commoner—daring to demand something from Hamilton’s mistress? It wouldn’t be strange if they were punished immediately.
The Lady Lianne Ricardo knew was a stickler for rules. Yet, somehow, she seemed lenient with Mary. But he couldn’t know where that leniency ended.
‘She let it slide this time, but next time, who knows?’
If Lianne punished Mary or kicked her out, there would be nothing Ricardo could do.
He didn’t want Mary punished, nor did he want her expelled.
But he had no power to protect her. So he warned her about her behavior.
“I’m your master. Isn’t it okay for me to give you a little advice?”
Of course, his tone… had been harsh.
Still, Mary had cried over advice meant to protect her, and Ricardo felt a bit wronged.
‘She didn’t have to cry over something so small.’
‘Was my tone too harsh?’
‘No, still… I only said it because I care!’
Within Ricardo, guilt and indignation collided.
Then he recalled something Mary had said to him before.
“Yes, young master. I’m a maid. But I’m also a person, just like you. When I fall, it hurts. When you say something mean, it hurts.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you…”
In the end, guilt won out.
“When you truly feel like you’re sorry, then please apologize properly.”
When you truly feel sorry.
Now was that time.
Ricardo pouted and muttered.
“Fine. How hard can it be to just apologize once?”
He didn’t realize… that a simple apology could be so difficult.
The next morning.
“Good morning! Did you sleep well, young master?”
Mary, bringing breakfast, had her usual bright smile.
After crying so much yesterday, could her mood really have changed overnight? Was that even possible?
“Why are you smiling so brightly?”
“Huh?”
Mary blinked her yellow eyes as if to ask what was wrong.
“…You weren’t like that yesterday.”
“Ahh—”
Mary let out a short sigh and bowed her head.
“I’m really sorry about yesterday.”
Her apology made Ricardo’s heart pound.
He was the one who should apologize, yet Mary had apologized first.
“What are you sorry for?”
“I cried in front of you, young master. I’m sorry for worrying you.”
Ricardo felt irritated.
‘Why are you apologizing to me?’
Just as he was about to ask, Mary cautiously spoke.
“Are you still angry, young master?”
“I’m not angry!”
“No… your expression looks angry. When you’re angry, your eyebrows and mouth go like this.”
Mary pressed her fingers against her own eyebrows and lips, mimicking Ricardo’s expression.
“W-when did I make that face…!”
“You do it often. Like when there’s broccoli for a meal, or when I’m a little late after being called.”
‘Have I really been making such a stupid face?’
Ricardo’s face heated up.
“Are you teasing me right now?!”
“No. I’m just showing you what kind of expression you make.”
“….”
Not exactly wrong.
Yet, somehow, it made him even more annoyed.
This was how conversations with Mary often went. Sometimes she left Ricardo speechless.
Every time, he felt like he had lost.
“Who asked you to tell me that?”
All he could do was snap in irritation.
Unlike previous servants who cowered and pleased him, Mary spoke her mind honestly… which he liked.
But it still hurt his pride to be seen so transparently by someone he couldn’t dominate.
‘A mere maid…’
Even isolated in the annex, Ricardo naturally absorbed the aristocratic sense of authority.
Without realizing it, he believed: ‘A servant must obey their master unconditionally. There’s no way a mere maid could defy their master.’
Of course, Mary had no intention of defeating him, nor did Ricardo expect her to be completely obedient.
But acknowledging that fact was still beyond Ricardo’s pride.
“Leave.”
“Huh? Young master, it’s not even meal time yet…”
“I’ll eat on my own, so just go!”
“Okay, young master. I’ll go, so don’t get mad. It’ll hurt your throat.”
Even now, Mary worried about him.
The more she did, the smaller Ricardo felt.
Mary was mature, while he felt like a child unable to control his own emotions.
“I’ll be going now. Make sure to eat and take your medicine! Call me anytime you feel better.”
In the end, he sent Mary out.
Left alone, Ricardo washed his face and sighed deeply.
“This isn’t what I meant to do…”
Instead of apologizing, he had only acted badly again.
His chest ached. Ricardo wanted to cry.
