“You may not remember, but it was the day you told me you would be leaving on an expedition two years ago… no, seventeen years ago now. The day I changed clothes because it was a rare dinner with you.”
As Camilla explained, Luke fell silent for a moment, as though searching his distant memories. Then he murmured blankly,
“…I remember.”
“I failed to offer even a single word of praise to you, even though you had dressed up for me, and instead said something completely off the mark…”
“That part is fine. You were flustered, and you didn’t know. But… I’m sorry. After that, I overheard you talking in the kitchen.”
“…Did I say something?”
“You said that my dress sleeves were in the way, and that I should think things through more…”
She confessed, assuming he would not remember something so minor. But as she spoke, Luke’s face gradually drained of color.
“…I do remember. But surely you did not think I was speaking ill of you, removed your outer gown, and came back like that?”
“…I did. Was I mistaken?”
“You were! I was speaking to the cook! He made no consideration for the placement of dishes even though you were dressed so carefully, so I reprimanded him. I told him that unless the soup bowls and cutlery were rearranged, they would interfere with you while you ate…”
At Luke’s words, Camilla searched her own memories from what felt like only two years ago.
…That night, Luke had spoken in a sharp tone, saying things like “it will be in the way” and “think more carefully.”
He had not been complaining about Camilla at all. He had been instructing the cook so that even dressed up as she was, she could eat without inconvenience. She could not recall the details, but no doubt the placement of the dishes had indeed been adjusted so her gown would not interfere.
Realizing that the incident which had made her withdraw from her husband had been a misunderstanding, Camilla froze. Yet Luke looked even paler than she did, clutching his head.
“…I am truly a fool. To think that everything I did with good intentions backfired so badly…”
“No, no, it’s all right. I understand your feelings now. And besides, we were able to confirm how we truly felt, weren’t we?”
Camilla touched Luke’s bowed back and brought her lips close to his ear.
“You were always kind in your letters. I knew you were clumsy, but you rejoiced over my pregnancy and even chose a name. Knowing how much you wanted to see Deidre is what helped me endure every day.”
“That is too much credit. I could not say what my wife needed to hear, and I was not by your side during your pregnancy or after the birth.”
“I wasn’t by your side for fifteen years either. And I left Deidre in your care. We are even.”
Camilla smiled and looked at Luke as he cautiously raised his face.
“I never knew. That you had loved me for so long.”
“…Yes. Leaving aside a boy’s first love, from the moment we married, I have remained faithful in my love for you.”
“Yes. Deidre told me as well. I was… very happy to hear it.”
But then Camilla gave a small, wry smile.
“I suppose I was no more honest than you were. Fifteen years ago, I struggled to see you as a man.”
“That is only natural. At the time, I was nothing more than a sixteen-year-old youth.”
“True. But now you are a wonderful grown man. And you tell me you have loved me all this time, so… I find myself falling in love with you.”
“…What?”
“If that troubles you, I’m sorry. I may be too young to be Deidre’s mother, and perhaps from your perspective our ages are too far apart…”
“Troubles me? Never!”
Luke cried out, grabbing both of Camilla’s hands firmly. His were large, calloused hands, hardened into something like plates by years of combat.
“I, on the contrary, felt ashamed to stand beside you. Unlike you, who did not age while petrified, I have grown old.”
“You have not grown old at all. You are wonderful.”
When Camilla spoke honestly, Luke’s cheeks flushed at once. He had grown more open than in his youth, but some things had never changed.
“Camilla, please stay by my side from now on. I wish to watch over Deidre together with you.”
“Luke…”
Luke’s hand gently touched her shoulder. He tilted his face slightly and called her name in a voice tinged with heat, making Camilla’s heart tremble.
“May I kiss you?”
“…Yes, of course.”
Even on their first night seventeen years ago, Luke had not taken her lips. Not because he did not love her, but because he did not wish to force himself upon her.
Luke had lacked words.
Camilla had jumped to conclusions and fled.
(But everything will be all right now.)
Their lips met softly.
Though they had been married for what felt like two years to Camilla and seventeen to Luke, this was the kiss they had finally reached.
Their lips parted, and they smiled at one another.
“Luke. I… love you. I think I always did, somewhere deep in my heart.”
“Camilla…”
Luke swallowed, then leaned in again and took her lips once more, just a little more boldly than before.
“Camilla.”
“Yes, Luke?”
“…Will you spend this night with me?”
The heat in Luke’s voice set a flame alight in Camilla’s chest. That Luke, looking at her so ardently, inviting her like this.
“…Do not say only this night. From now on, we will always be together.”
As Camilla smiled softly and wrapped her arms around Luke’s neck, hazel eyes curved happily just before her.
“Thank you. I love you, Camilla. My wife.”
