Chapter 23
“Come to think of it, that child is also from a war orphan background. I wonder if children like that naturally tend to look similar.”
“Mother! Just now… did you say she’s from a war orphan background?”
“Yes. I suppose the parents of children who look like that die young. Tsk. Isn’t it truly pitiful? It reminds me of someone. Leocal.”
For various reasons, Father hates war orphans—orphans, especially children who lost their parents unwillingly because of war.
If it hadn’t been for the war, they might have had parents still alive. No matter how desperately they struggle, they end up living with jobs worse than even commoners. The people who started the war were others, yet all the damage was borne by entirely different people.
Mother, too, had lost both her parents because of the war, and because of that, Father’s anger only grew stronger.
“Now that I think about it, maybe it’s a problem with children who look like that. Like someone we know. Where did I hear it? That children who look like that bring misfortune to their families—the parents, the children, even their husbands.”
Honestly, I never understood why Grandmother went this far, neither in the past nor now.
It seemed like she thought doing this would snap Father back to his senses, but instead, what she was doing only provoked his resistance even more.
‘Grandmother probably just wants to say that everything is the fault of people who look like Mother—or she wants to crush me, who resembles Mother. Like trampling grass before even new shoots can sprout.’
“Then… is that why you deliberately brought that woman here? To show her to me?”
“Yes. When I asked what she had been doing until then, she said she’d been living by begging on the streets. Her parents died because of the war, and everyone she could call family also died. Doesn’t that remind you of someone?”
“Mother!”
What did I do in this situation back then?
I remember being quite shocked by the appearance of a woman who looked exactly like my mother, whom I had only ever seen in portraits.
I think I was so shaken—telling myself my mother was already dead, that she couldn’t possibly look that shabby—that I ended up crying right there.
Father calling my mother’s name after seeing a woman who wasn’t her, and Grandmother saying that people who look like that are all unfortunate…
I don’t know why, but that’s how it was back then.
“So that’s why you wanted to show me that sight.”
“Yes. I wanted to snap you out of it. Not just that woman—people who look like that are all unhappy. Even now, isn’t she doing nothing but menial labor?”
Only after Grandmother’s gaze, accompanied by a dry chuckle, landed on me did I finally understand for certain.
I hadn’t known it in the past, but now I do. Why Grandmother brought that woman here.
The one she wanted to “snap out of it” wasn’t Father. It was me.
That my hair color, my eyes—everything about me that looks just like Mother—brings misfortune to those around me. She wanted to make me see that clearly with my own eyes, that I am exactly that kind of existence.
“Hah. Did you really have to do it like this? Even if you don’t cherish Amanet, did you have to ruin her birthday of all days?”
Father’s voice rang out, thick with anger.
“You’re the one who ruined it.”
“Mother!”
“If only you had listened to what I said.”
That was when Father’s complexion turned pale.
“If you cherish your daughter that much, then at the very least you should listen to me. If you don’t want to show your daughter a sight like that.”
It was a vicious hatred.
Was it really so hateful that Father wouldn’t do as she wished because of me? Did she really have to do this on a child’s birthday?
“It’s… my fault, then….”
Just like in the past, Father’s lips trembled as he stared ahead in shock. Even then, his gaze went not to me, but to that woman who looked like Mother.
Just like before. The eyes of everyone gathered around turned toward that woman who looked exactly like me.
The same looks as in the past—eyes wondering whether that shabbily dressed woman might be my mother—were all directed at me.
‘Did a dead person come back to life?’
‘She looks too much like Amanet.’
‘Was Amanet’s mother really dead to begin with?’
From behind, I could vaguely hear people whispering. To them, this situation was nothing more than interesting gossip.
A woman who looks exactly like a dead mother appearing at a child’s birthday—what a sensational drama.
‘Grandmother must think that shocking Father was enough. This is exactly the same as the past.’
But I am someone who will change the future. I won’t be victimized the same way as before.
“Wow! Dad, this is the first time I’ve seen someone with the same hair and eye color as me!”
When I smiled brightly, Father—who hadn’t been able to take his eyes off the woman—looked at me blankly, startled.
“Huh?”
“It’s amazing.”
“Ah… um… I mean, Amanet. It is amazing, right? B-but she’s not your mother. Your mother wouldn’t look that shabby—no, why am I even saying this?”
“I know! She’s not Mom! But she’s pitiful. Grandma, why didn’t you even make sure she had proper clothes?”
With an innocent expression, as though I knew nothing at all, I stared straight at Grandmother.
“What did you say?”
“She’s the person Grandma brought here.”
“No.”
“But Grandma knew so much about that woman. That means Grandma brought her, right? Then why didn’t you even make sure she had proper clothes? It’s pitiful. Did you do it on purpose?”
Grandmother, who must have expected me to be shocked, instead looked shocked herself when I showed no sign of being affected at all.
“T-that is….”
No one had ever asked Grandmother such a question before. Everyone was simply astonished by the appearance of someone with the same features as me.
Before I knew it, the guests at my birthday party had gathered nearby, whispering among themselves.
“Grandma was mean!”
“Hah! M-mean…!”
“But it really is mean. If she’s pitiful, then you should treat her kindly.”
Why aren’t you shocked?
Someone who looks exactly like you showed up in such a state.
I’m saying that people who look like you are all unfortunate—so why aren’t you shocked?
Countless questions were conveyed to me through Grandmother’s eyes.
“From now on, treat her nicely! Grandma isn’t a bad person, right!”
Grandmother stared at me in bewilderment, her mouth opening and closing soundlessly.
“Grandma is a good person. So don’t bully pitiful people too much. Give her some clothes and take care of her.”
Contrary to her expectation that I would be too shocked to speak and only cry, my overly carefree reaction left Grandmother unable to continue.
“……”
“Then I should go now. Dad, I’m a little sleepy.”
“O-oh… let’s go.”
Only then did Father move his arms and properly hold me.
The expression on Uncle Behel’s face, who was standing beside Grandmother, also stiffened in disbelief, but there was no reason to stay here any longer while worrying about them.
“You’re very tired, aren’t you? Let’s go back quickly, Amanet.”
“Yeah!”
As we left the party hall, no one tried to stop us or paid us any particular attention.
They just stared at us in stunned silence.
“Amanet. I should have come out as soon as you said you wanted to.”
“Huh?”
“Your father embarrassed himself. For a moment… I thought she might be your mother. But she’s absolutely not your mother. So….”
“I know. She’s not Mom. And even if she were, it wouldn’t matter. Even if she looked that shabby. I’d really be okay.”
In the past, I wasn’t okay—but now, I truly am.
“Really…?”
“Yeah!”
“But….”
“Grandma said that people like that are all unhappy because of people like her, but I don’t think so. It was just the situation they were in, that’s all.”
At my words, Father stopped for a moment, then started walking again. Looking deeply shaken, he let out a long sigh.
“Amanet, you’re far better than I am.”
“Huh?”
“For a moment, thinking she might be your mother made my heart pound like crazy. I thought I’d go mad—wondering if she had returned looking like that, in such a miserable state….”
As if he couldn’t reach any conclusion even in his own mind, Father’s lips kept trembling.
“And your grandmother’s words… they pierced straight into my heart. I wondered if it was really all my fault.”
In the past, Father grew more and more dispirited because of this incident.
Every time something bad happened to me, he thought it was because of himself.
‘Now that I think about it, maybe even those bad things were something Grandmother intended.’
After all, she openly said that people who look like me are all unhappy.
She might have deliberately created all sorts of situations to make it seem even more so.
“It’s not Dad’s fault, not my fault, not Mom’s fault—and not the fault of people who look like that either!”
“Ah….”
“So I’m really okay. And Dad, if Mom had been like that, I think I would’ve been happy instead. It would mean the mom I thought was dead had come back alive.”
