Chapter 20
It had been a week since I last saw Adel. Ilina, looking worried, asked me,
“Miss, are you going to stay in your room again today?”
I buried myself deeper under the covers and replied,
“What’s the point of going outside?”
“Even if the young master doesn’t come, you could go out with me! Shall we go eat some parfait?”
Ilina suggested cheerfully, but I immediately refused.
“No.”
“Miss…”
I lay curled up in bed, staring at Ilina. She bit her lip as if feeling sorry for me.
‘What will you do if I can’t accept your death?’
If I die, Ilina would be sad too, right? Would she want to forget even meeting me?
“Ilina, I’ve been thinking only of myself all this time. I never tried to understand the pain those left behind would feel if I died. Wouldn’t it be better, rather than hurting everyone, to just not meet anyone until the day I die?”
At my words, Ilina’s face twisted as if she was about to cry.
She approached, knelt by the bed, and took my hand.
“Please don’t say such sad things. Every day I spend with you is precious and brings me so much joy. It’s truly an honor to serve you closely. I’m sure others would never regret the time spent with you either.”
I hesitated. Ilina forced herself to speak energetically.
“And it’s perfectly fine for you to be selfish! How can you endure all this pain and suffering without accepting help from others? You should be surrounded by kind people, eating delicious food every day, and being happy. Feeling guilty might leave deep scars on both sides. So please, just stay as you are. Receive love and attention as much as you want.”
Ilina’s plea was earnest. I couldn’t ignore it and nodded.
“Mm…”
“When you smile, anyone would fall in love with you,” she added, giving a warm, gentle smile. I blinked.
“Ilina, would you fall in love if I smiled?”
She hesitated briefly before letting out a sigh.
“To be honest, the moment I first met you, I lost all motivation. I thought that if you set your mind to it, you could probably ruin an entire country. And you’re already stunning! And if you smile on top of that!”
Ilina spoke passionately, and it felt terrifying because it seemed so heartfelt, coming straight from her deepest emotions.
“Ilina, your eyes are really serious right now.”
“That’s because you asked such an obvious question. Hmm, I’ll leave the tea and chocolates here. If you need anything, just call me.”
She smiled playfully, placed the treats on the table, and left.
Listening to the door close, I got lost in thought.
I want to live too…
But I knew very well that there was no way.
The illness I had wasn’t even explained in the novel, and everything was shrouded in secrecy.
I considered going back to sleep, but I worried about Ilina’s expression and got up. Maybe the medicine had worn off; I didn’t feel as energetic as before.
Standing quietly in front of the mirror, I saw a pale, thin woman.
Yet, she was extremely beautiful. Her loose hair shone as if it had captured starlight.
Pearl-like skin, cherry-colored lips, and large moon-like eyes made her look even more unreal.
Excessive beauty like this seemed almost like a disaster for a single person—it seemed to drain life itself.
A dangerously alluring, ephemeral woman stared back at me from the mirror.
Except for her full lips, everything was translucent and shimmering white, like looking at the moon and snow-covered trees.
Frowning slightly, I stared at the mirror, then walked over to the table and quietly ate some chocolate.
A week ago, Ilina had been very worried when I returned crying.
The next day, when Adel didn’t come, she became even more distressed. I forced a smile and said I was fine, but I didn’t go out alone.
I spent the whole day in my room, reading or trying embroidery. Though I still couldn’t thread the needle and gave up.
While thinking, I realized: I liked Adel. He was my first love.
But even living an ordinary life stressed him out, and he still kept many secrets I didn’t know.
I was someone who would eventually have to leave. At most, two years. It was better to end things now, before I got too deeply involved.
It was only right to put aside a heart I couldn’t be responsible for.
“Miss,”
By evening, Ilina knocked on the door.
“Come in.”
With my permission, she opened it, looking troubled.
“A lady has been wandering alone near the count’s territory for the past 30 minutes. She appears to be a highborn lady.”
I tilted my head.
“What does she look like?”
“She’s a beautiful woman with ebony hair…”
I inhaled sharply.
“Gasp!”
Black hair wasn’t common here. And a very beautiful highborn lady? As far as I knew, there was only the villainess sister.
“The guards spoke to her, and she only said she was waiting for someone.”
Ahhh! I got goosebumps. The villainess sister hated wasting time. Waiting for someone was probably unpleasant for her, too. She had very little patience.
I ran out immediately.
“I’m coming out now!”
“Do you know her?”
“Yes!”
Ilina shouted from behind, but I ran without stopping. The guards quickly pointed me toward her.
Perhaps because of my poor stamina, I quickly became out of breath. Fortunately, the villainess sister had already entered the private estate.
Her hair was elegantly styled, glossy, and her dress embroidered with crow patterns revealed her collarbones and shoulders.
She clearly intended to stand out, so the guards stayed away.
I slowed down as I approached.
“Lunette?”
Though she must have noticed me coming, the villainess sister was staring elsewhere. Only then did she turn and greet me with a delighted smile.
“Oh, Anastasia! What a coincidence!”
I narrowed my eyes.
“This is our private estate, you know.”
“Yes, life is full of such coincidences.”
She was absurdly confident.
“What brings you here?”
“Just enjoying a light walk.”
“It’s at least an hour to the Bliss Duchy from here.”
“My legs are strong, so the usual walking course isn’t enough.”
“Oh, I see.”
She was starting to respond half-heartedly. I considered leaving when she noticed my hesitation and put on a pitiful expression.
“Ah, my legs suddenly hurt. Since this is the count’s estate, can I rest here for a while?”
I blinked. She had said her legs were strong less than a minute ago.
“Lunette, that doesn’t make any sense.”
She gave a sharp smile.
“It’s no fun if you question me too much, Anastasia.”
Ha… Ha. I couldn’t help feeling tense. I knew well how she could change if she lost control.
“F-Follow me.”
Lunette obediently followed me into the count’s mansion. Once in the reception room, she excitedly chatted with a flushed face.
“Anastasia, I’m relieved to see you. That day I met you wasn’t a dream. Your beauty, which both shocked and mesmerized me, was real!”
I focused on drinking the tea Ilina had prepared, feeling less happy than expected.
“But you look gloomy despite receiving my heartfelt praise. Did something upset you? Your once lively eyes seem withered.”
I answered casually to her curious gaze.
“Thank you for your concern, but I’m fine.”
She studied me as if exploring, then spoke teasingly.
“Other nobles know you always stick close to Prince Magnus. But recently, he hasn’t been seen outside the mansion, and neither have you, Anastasia.”
I flinched at the mention of Adel.
With a confident smile, she seemed to confirm what she had heard.
“You don’t have to answer my questions. I have no intention of meddling in your private life. I just like your face. Even if you fought with the prince or were rejected, it doesn’t concern me…”
Gulp! The spoon I had been holding for the strawberry jam slipped from my hand. She covered her mouth and laughed.
“Hehe, how cute. Was my guess right? Such an honest reaction.”
“Why are you here?”
Though it seemed like she came to mess with me, the villainess sister genuinely liked my face.
I didn’t want to admit it, but she hadn’t looked away from me for even a moment since arriving.
She rested her chin on her hand, staring at me like she was checking a product estimate…
“Anastasia, will you attend the party tomorrow?”
“I’ll stay at the mansion. I don’t have a partner anymore anyway…”
Originally, I had planned to go with Adel, but that was long past.
“But didn’t the prince promise to partner with you?”
I frowned.
“How do you know that, Lunette?”
“The prince always keeps his promises. I thought you knew that too. Here, take this.”
She handed me a neatly folded envelope from her chest. I accepted it absentmindedly.
