Chapter 02
Ruelia stopped by the herbal shop and then returned to the ducal estate.
“Did you have a good trip?”
The voice stopped her the moment she opened the office door.
A voice she heard every day.
Cold and dry enough to sound like it could summon frost, yet carrying a warmth gentler than a spring breeze.
Normally, she would have answered cheerfully, but—
“……”
Her chaotic thoughts kept her from speaking.
When Ruelia didn’t reply, the owner of the voice lifted his head from the pile of documents.
Those long, cool blue eyes were unchanged. His seemingly indifferent expression was exactly as she remembered.
Contrary to what the world believed, he wasn’t difficult or cruel. In fact, he was someone Ruelia had decided to give her true loyalty to for the first time in her life.
But what if all of that had been a misunderstanding?
Ruelia clenched the diary in her hand and crumpled it tightly.
I knew it. That uneasy feeling back then…
Her first meeting with the duke came back to her.
While chasing away some trash, she had accidentally spilled hot tea all over him.
Assaulting a high-ranking noble.
Even if he had ordered her execution on the spot, she would’ve had no right to complain.
And that’s when he suggested I become his aide—almost like he’d been waiting.
He already knew who she was before she even explained herself.
Had it been a calculated approach?
Back then, she’d been blinded by the promise of a 1,000-gold weekly salary and accepted without thinking. She hadn’t even questioned the unease she felt.
You idiot, Ruelia!
Whenever her instincts warned her, there had always been a reason.
It hadn’t been instinct at all.
Thanks to fragments of memories from her previous life buried deep in her subconscious, she had succeeded again and again—and mistaken that for luck and talent.
She’d been too busy, too desperate just to survive.
“Is something wrong? Did something happen outside?”
At that moment, Kylas spoke to her, noticing her troubled expression.
“No. There’s nothing to worry about.”
She forced an awkward smile, her nose wrinkling slightly.
Kylas’s blue eyes narrowed further as he studied her.
Seeing that only made her mind more confused. No matter how she looked at it, the man in the diary and the man standing before her didn’t seem like the same person.
First of all, Kylas showed no interest in women.
Even at banquets, he always attended alone.
With his handsome face, a physique worthy of being called the Empire’s greatest swordsman, immense wealth, and central political power, he was the type to receive unrequited love—not suffer from it.
There must have been countless women aiming for him, yet not a single rumor had ever surfaced.
I even thought he might have… unconventional tastes.
On top of that, he was the Crown Prince’s closest friend and political partner. Thanks to them, relations between the ducal house and the imperial family—once tense for generations—had never been better.
Rebelling and falling to ruin over a woman? That kind of ending… makes no sense.
It had to be coincidence.
Just a seven-year-old child’s imagination overlapping strangely with reality.
Ruelia forced her stiff expression to relax.
The duke was still staring at her intently.
“You came back early. I thought you’d stay for dinner.”
Was she acting awkward because her mind was full of stray thoughts?
Perhaps sensing her attempt to change the subject, Kylas’s gaze sharpened.
“Are you sure nothing happened? Where did you go?”
“My old home. It’s nothing you need to worry about, Your Grace. I’m really fine. Seeing the girls living there just brought back some old memories.”
Ruelia told him everything—about the family she met and the blackmail attempt.
Even if she stayed silent, the knights would report it anyway. It was easier to tell him herself.
She just left out the diary’s contents.
“I went hungry quite often when I was young, too.”
Kylas set down his quill.
He folded his hands, rested his chin on them, and stared at her for a long time without speaking.
The veteran knights said that expression was terrifying—he used it when carefully observing someone to uncover lies.
Feeling guilty for no reason, Ruelia quietly placed the crumpled diary and the medicine she’d bought onto her desk.
She’d ended up making eye contact with him.
“I—I’m telling the truth!”
Now I really look guilty…
“I didn’t know you’d lived through times like that.”
“I never told you… sir.”
“Your father would be proud. You grew up to be someone who helps others despite hardship.”
He tossed out the praise bluntly, as always.
Detached, casual words.
That was why Ruelia had trusted him so deeply until now.
Compared to the smooth-talking people who had tried to bribe her back when she worked at the trading company, his words always carried weight.
That was the kind of man he was.
More than anything, the word “ice” didn’t suit him at all.
To his people, he was always as warm as the sun.
“Still, Ruelia.”
There was something that bothered her.
It was related to why his former aides had all quit.
That same persistence.
When he fixated on something, he could become frighteningly obsessed.
Just like now.
“You don’t know which trading company that craftsman belonged to?”
Whether it was good or bad, he questioned things relentlessly until satisfied—no wonder people ran away.
Now imagine that obsession directed at the woman he loved.
In a positive sense, it could be devotion. But if it crossed a line, it would become a terrifying fixation.
At least he had no interest in women—thankfully.
Ruelia swallowed before answering.
“I didn’t ask that far.”
“Check next time.”
“Ah, yes. You’re right. I could’ve offered long-term help through another route. Thank you for pointing that out, Your Grace.”
She silently watched as Kylas raised an eyebrow and unclasped his hands.
He really was a good person.
Ruelia couldn’t bring herself to make a judgment.
Her past self’s record—or the duke standing before her now.
Which was right?
No—she’d probably already decided.
She wasn’t foolish enough to label the superior she admired and respected as a villain over one old sentence written long ago.
It was better to judge him by the two years she’d spent watching and working with him.
Who knew how much the future had already changed?
“Oh, by the way, Your Grace. Is there perhaps a young lady you have in mind?”
Still—it wouldn’t hurt to check one last thing.
“Why are you asking that all of a sudden?”
“On my way back, I happened to meet His Highness the Crown Prince. He said His Majesty is concerned about your marriage.”
“The Emperor, suddenly?”
“Yes. He said, “If you don’t take a duchess within the year, His Majesty may intervene.”
Kylas’s eyes grew cold.
His lips stayed firmly shut.
Normally, he would’ve answered immediately—yes or no.
Why the hesitation?
Ruelia’s unease crept upward.
“There… isn’t anyone you’re considering as duchess, right?”
“Well, there wasn’t… but…”
Why past tense?
Ruelia anxiously waited for him to continue.
“Now that I think about it, there might be. No—perhaps there is. I think it happened today.”
Her heart dropped.
Today?
Where had the duke gone during the day? Had he met a woman?
It was a knight-family meeting at Count Emil’s estate…
She was doomed.
She remembered seeing that family name when she skimmed the diary earlier.
Maybe the woman destined to be the object of his unrequited love was there.
“Then… should we prepare a proposal?”
“…No. She doesn’t seem interested at all, so stop. I have no intention of moving forward right now.”
Why did that sound so unmistakably like unrequited love?
“Is there really a woman in the Empire who would reject you, Your Grace? I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”
“Who knows? She might run away if she dislikes it. Just like all my aides—except you—have done so far. That would be troublesome.”
He said it calmly.
A man with an excellent grasp of self-awareness.
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Your Grace.”
“Thank you.”
For once, Kylas lifted the corner of his lips in a smile.
It struck Ruelia’s heart hard.
No matter how lavishly she’d praised him before, he’d always ignored it.
He wasn’t someone who reacted to compliments.
Yet now—he looked genuinely affected.
Which meant…
His feelings for that woman must already be deep.
What was she supposed to do now?
I like this take on a regression story. Sure, she remembered her past life when she was young and wrote it down… But she also had a very difficult life to live and in the process completely forgot about it. And after all this time, she is confused and thinks of it as a child’s imagination. It’s very convincing and very refreshing.