Chapter 4
Elina followed me with a bright smile.
“I’m glad. Seeing you smile makes me happy too. Now, it’s time for your medicine.”
“Ugh.”
I gagged. Half-dressed in my pajamas, I fled to the bedroom connected to the dressing room.
“Running won’t help!”
Unintentionally, I ended up playing a game of chase with Elina. In the end, she was the winner.
I drank a tonic filled with all sorts of bitter, astringent, and disgusting ingredients and collapsed onto the bed. After that, I spent my time lying around, eating an enormous amount of chocolate.
Elina gently suggested that I could try embroidery if I got bored, but I flatly refused. I couldn’t even thread a needle properly.
That night, I had a strange dream. In a dream set against a valley with bright yellow rocks, silver waters flowing, and a field of pink hydrangeas in full bloom, I was with Adel.
Adel wore a slightly snug white shirt and navy pants, his firm, smooth lines making me tense. He seemed to exercise consistently.
His hair, shining as if sunlight had been poured into it, looked incredibly soft, and his picturesque face with a fresh, playful smile struck my heart wildly.
Adel raised his hand and gently cupped my cheek. I watched the movement of his lips carefully.
[“Anastasia, shall I kiss you?”]
His voice was incredibly sweet.
It carried unmistakable affection.
[“Honestly, you’re so adorable I couldn’t bear it.”]
S-stop it!
I struggled to wake from the dream.
I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my tongue. By some miracle, I woke up before Adel’s lips touched mine. I bolted upright and gasped for breath.
“Huff… what a ridiculous dream.”
Heat rose to my face. What was this, frustration? The dream had been far too vivid!
I bit my nails while sitting on the bed. This made me feel like I was lingering on him.
No! I’m ready to hand Adel over to Olga!
…Really?
The dim dawn light softly illuminated the bedroom. Of course, going back to sleep was impossible.
“This is annoying…”
I muttered in a sulky voice, indifferent to the connection that had begun with my own death.
“Miss, are you awake? The young master sent a letter.”
About an hour had passed since I grabbed any random book to avoid unnecessary thoughts when Elina came in with a letter.
Since Anastasia’s family was also my family, I quickly snatched the letter. Perhaps it had traveled across the sea—the envelope was somewhat wrinkled.
A smile escaped me. Though I had spent little time with my family, they had loved me unconditionally.
Count Sinclair was playful with his children, and my mother, the countess, seemed strict but was somewhat scatterbrained. My brother often teased me, only to be thoroughly scolded by our parents.
Unlike other noble families concerned with public appearances, Anastasia’s family was remarkably ordinary.
Perhaps that was why the original Anastasia, who had always been so stiff and formal, had seemed pitiful.
Wanting to leave as little attachment to my family as possible, and having experienced such affection for the first time, I tried to act as friendly as I could.
I carefully opened the envelope and unfolded the letter.
The content was relatively short:
“To my sister, the cutest, most mischievous little rascal in the world,
I’ve heard of your well-being through the butler. You must be going through a lot, so thank you for enduring it.
I am currently in Northern Martinez. Father and Mother went west, and we’ll meet in fifteen days. I promise to return with good news.
P.S. I know Prince Magnus is a perfect gentleman, but aren’t you two sticking together a bit too much?”
For a moment, I read the letter with satisfaction, but then flinched at the postscript, which mentioned Adel.
Suddenly, the voice from my dream popped into my head:
“Anastasia, shall I kiss you?”
Wait… why does this feel so unfair?
That stubborn man could do whatever he wanted and be fine, so why me?
I felt quite aggrieved. It almost seemed like I had a crush on Adel. Not at all!
I was simply thinking Adel was handsome! His serious, stiff personality could be frustrating, annoying even, yet somehow endearing…
And so, I wanted to tease him even more.
“Miss? What’s with your expression?”
Elina looked at me worriedly. I decided to take a second revenge on Adel.
I felt extremely unfair. I felt like a bad person for coveting someone else’s man! Yet he hadn’t even thought about it!
“Elina, could you do my makeup?”
My maid’s eyes widened.
“Is that necessary? You’re already divine in beauty.”
Ah, you understand something.
“Just a little, please.”
I gave Elina a gentle smile. She, captivated by it, started grooming me as usual, from shaping my eyebrows to applying makeup.
The process of curling my lashes and applying lipstick felt longer than expected.
While Elina worked on my makeup, Marin gathered my thick hair to one side and secured it with a large shell-like hairpiece.
My hair was distinctly curly, but Marin quickly finished styling it.
I wore my flowing indoor dress and waited for Adel. The outfit was perfect for tea time.
The orange chiffon dress had no patterns or decorations, but its folds created a petal-like effect with every movement.
Adel arrived at about the same time as yesterday. I called him to the terrace.
“Welcome, Adel.”
He paused at the terrace, then greeted me with a smile like a patch of shade on a hot July day.
“Good afternoon, Anastasia.”
I liked the way Adel looked at me. It wasn’t overt, but he was staring longer than usual.
I spoke cheerfully to him.
“I asked the chef to make ginger cookies you like. I hope you enjoy them.”
Adel responded politely.
“You needn’t have. Just seeing your lively face is enough for me. But I will gratefully accept your kindness today.”
He sat across from me. The tea table wasn’t large, allowing us to maintain a proper distance.
When Adel reached for a cookie, I waited and casually extended my hand, letting our fingertips brush.
“Ah.”
Pretending to be startled, Adel quickly withdrew his hand.
“My apologies. Please, go ahead.”
“No, you eat first.”
I laughed softly. No one else would notice my little trick, but Adel wouldn’t.
Confident, I pressed further.
“Adel, your hands are very beautiful. May I place my hand on yours?”
“My hands are rough and coarse, but if you wish…”
Adel spread his hands innocently. I placed mine over his.
Though I had an ulterior motive, it oddly made me tingle with excitement.
I intended to make Adel uncomfortable, yet I found myself more absorbed in the act than he was.
“Your fingers are so long… smooth and straight.”
I spoke honestly without thinking. Adel gave a careful, cautious smile.
“Embarrassing. Even the calluses from training vanish quickly.”
A swordsmanship genius, yet so humble—I rolled my eyes.
“What do you think of my hands?”
Adel thought briefly before replying.
“They’re very soft. Small and delicate. Even a little pressure feels like it could break them.”
I chuckled.
“Even though we held hands yesterday, they’re fine?”
“That was impulsive. I’ve reflected on it. Even if you’re my friend, I must avoid unnecessary contact if there’s any chance of discomfort. You probably considered it kindly because I extended my hand first.”
I tilted my head. Hands wear out from holding them?
“Regret it? I liked it.”
Adel’s jewel-like red eyes showed a hint of surprise.
“Really?”
“Yes.”
He paused a moment, then confessed.
“I… I liked it too. You were angry at me.”
“Huh?”
“Others forgive my mistakes easily, which makes me complacent. But you corrected my mistake. I deeply appreciate that.”
It was a remark that deflated all my motivation.
Adel wasn’t perceiving me as a woman.
Makeup, a bright dress, or light physical contact meant nothing.
He treated me as a human being, not a woman.
Feeling like I’d been doused with cold water, I withdrew my hand and glared at him.
“Adel.”
“Yes, Anastasia?”
I addressed him bluntly, since he seemed oblivious.
“You’re annoying.”
Adel apologized, unaware of what he had done wrong.
“I’m sorry. Did I say something inappropriate again?”
“Hmph!”
What a scoundrel.
Wasn’t he supposed to tell me he enjoyed holding hands with me? I had been secretly hoping for it!
Adel Magnus was thinking about the former Anastasia Sinclair.
‘Adel, you are truly a good person. But that very thing makes me suffer.’
A month ago, she had told him this with a tired face.
Anastasia often cried, was pessimistic, and sensed her impending death.
Adel tried to instill hope in her, as he had been taught. Yet her responses were cold.
She even mocked his comforting words.
Only then did Adel realize why he had failed to understand her deeply, analyzing every word he had said. But it was already too late.
‘I wish you were mute! I wish you wouldn’t say anything in front of me! You have everything, so you can’t understand my feelings! You have no idea how miserable and desperate I am!’
Anastasia had thrown a vase at him. The vase shattered against the wall, seeming to reflect her broken heart.
‘I’m sorry, Anastasia.’
That was all he could say. Adel apologized repeatedly until she grew tired of it.
