CHAPTER 11
Back in his office, Cretes stroked his chin. Letting out a sigh—something quite unlike him—caused Himos, who was organizing documents, to look up in surprise.
“You look troubled, Your Majesty. Has something happened?”
“I thought… even if she didn’t remember, she wouldn’t feel regret.”
At that, Himos let out a short sigh of his own, a bitter expression on his face.
“It’s likely that Her Majesty the Empress won’t be able to remember ‘that time.’”
“…I know.”
“And that’s why Your Majesty’s sincerity may not be easily accepted.”
“I know that too.”
Cretes had anticipated that Asilia wouldn’t remember him.
“It was a very long time ago, and she was very young then.”
Humans rarely remember their early childhood.
But even so—could someone really forget someone they directly spoke to, who even told them their name?
As far as Cretes knew, Asilia’s daily life was monotonous to the point of boredom.
He remembered an event that should’ve shattered that monotony. Was it truly possible to forget it so completely? As if the memory had been erased from her mind?
“Does Your Majesty believe that Her Majesty’s forgetfulness is not simply due to the passage of time?”
Cretes nodded.
He didn’t claim to be an expert on humans, but he wasn’t ignorant either.
“If you’d just give the order, I’ll investigate right away.”
At Himos’s determined offer, Cretes stroked his chin again.
He stood and walked to the window, slowly blinking.
“Just assume ‘Revilla did what Revilla does.’ That’s enough.”
“But… if that’s the case, then we won’t understand Her Majesty’s condition properly.”
“You’re right. But I can’t send you out and close the land route either.”
Himos’s eyes widened.
“You mean… closing the land route…?”
“I’m going to block what’s left of Revilla from entering Moria—at least until Asilia trusts me.”
Himos parted his lips to respond.
Closing the land route meant completely shutting off access to Moria.
“But, Your Majesty… If we close the route…”
“I’ll give you two weeks. Contact and summon anyone who needs to come through.”
Cretes spoke firmly, as if his mind was made up.
Himos fidgeted nervously, then let out a long sigh.
Let’s hope this doesn’t end in a fight.
As if he could already predict what was coming, Himos shook his head.
That night.
Lying in bed, Asilia turned and looked at the man before her.
His pale skin, his prominent nose. His black hair reminded her of the night sky, and his golden eyes, now hidden by his eyelids, sparkled brighter than hers could ever compare.
He was truly a beautiful man.
“Why would someone like him be interested in me…?”
Did he need her for diplomacy?
No, that couldn’t be. He wouldn’t have gone so far as to make her empress.
If not that, then could it be genuine romantic interest?
“In someone he’s never even met?”
Yet Cretes acted as though there was some unknown reason behind his actions.
“Memories I don’t know about…”
Could such a thing exist?
She couldn’t say for certain that they didn’t.
“Memories…”
There were a few moments she couldn’t recall. Could it be that somewhere in those blanks, she and Cretes had met?
But how would I have met the emperor of a foreign land?
No matter how much she thought, she couldn’t come up with an answer.
“Haa…”
Letting out a long sigh, Asilia looked up at Cretes’s face.
Why was he treating her so kindly?
If it was because of some past bond—if he truly wasn’t projecting someone else onto her, but loved her as she was—
Then suddenly, she felt sorry.
Startled, Asilia shook her head to suppress the emotion, but she couldn’t shake off what Isaya had once said:
“If it’s not that… then what, you actually love that emperor?”
…Could she really kill him?
Not because she lacked the strength—but because she might be unable to even if she had the chance?
Had she… let him into her heart?
She mustn’t grow used to the affection Cretes showed her.
She had to cut it off. One day, when Isaya killed him, they’d leave Moria together.
Even thinking that—
Asilia still couldn’t push away the warmth of the hand holding hers under the covers.
She didn’t know whether what she felt was joy—or sorrow at something she couldn’t accept.
“If I were to believe you… and accept everything you say…”
Would anything change?
Would life finally shift for someone like her, who’d only ever lived, blindly breathing?
“…Mm…”
At that moment, Cretes stirred in his sleep, and Asilia flinched and moved back.
But as if he had no intention of letting go, he reached out and wrapped his arm around her waist.
Pulled tightly into his embrace, Asilia had no choice but to remain in his arms again tonight.
Her heart thumped heavily.
What if… just what if everything I’ve learned was wrong?
Just as the thought surfaced—
Her vision blurred, a ringing filled her ears, and she felt as though she couldn’t breathe.
“―You must carry it out. Understood, Sir Lestantis?”
“Ugh…!”
The echoing voice became shackles, suppressing her every cell.
Her golden eyes, once looking at Cretes, turned dull and lost focus.
As if possessed, Asilia murmured blankly:
“Everything is at His Majesty’s will. I shall offer this body to fulfill that command.”
Her whisper reached no one.
The next day, Asilia faced an obviously annoyed Isaya.
“You must’ve had a great time. Slept in, too.”
At his sarcastic tone, Asilia cleared her throat awkwardly.
She didn’t even remember when she fell asleep last night. She only recalled being told that Isaya was waiting.
“Well, let’s skip the nagging today. Even a worm has its ways—and it seems the emperor already pulled back the surveillance in less than a day.”
Isaya crossed his arms, looking pleased.
“From now on, I’ll wander around the palace, gather stories about the emperor. Would be good if I found a way to kill him too.”
“…”
“And apparently, unlike Revilla, there’s something called a temple here.”
Revilla was a nation that denied the existence of gods and worshipped only the emperor.
Temples didn’t—and weren’t allowed to—exist.
“Calling the emperor a god is laughable enough, but now a temple too… I don’t know what Moria is thinking. Either way, we can’t go in as foreigners.”
Still, that didn’t mean they could ignore it.
If Cretes was considered a god, the temple was likely the place that held the most information about him.
“If it’s the temple… The Emperor has granted me permission to visit.”
“Well, that was quick. In that case, the investigation’s yours. Look into everything—from the nation’s founding to how their emperor is involved. As for me…”
Isaya lowered his voice and began to explain his plan. But his words didn’t reach Asilia’s ears.
“…Still no word from Revilla?”
His voice halted—and his expression contorted.
“With Moria’s emperor alive, do you think they’d respond?”
“…”
“Or wait… Don’t tell me you’ve switched sides? Is that why you’re asking—hoping they don’t contact us?”
Asilia silently stared at him. His golden eyes glinted with menace as he scoffed and leaned back on the sofa.
“If you want to return to Revilla, you better think clearly before you act.”
After a long silence, Asilia spoke.
“So that means, as my aide, you permit me to think and act for myself?”
Isaya paused, studying her.
Gone was the usual gloom—her face was filled with determination.
He let out a dry laugh.
“Do you even understand what you’re asking? What happens when you do start thinking?”
It frustrated him.
Knowing truths he had to suppress, the unfair reality—it all grated on him.
“…I know that when I think and act, the ending has never been good.”
“And yet you still say that?”
“If there’s no other way… then isn’t it better for one more person to think?”
At her answer, Isaya clenched his fists.
This wasn’t something to be taken lightly—yet she spoke so calmly.
Asilia still didn’t understand.
Why everyone had told her not to think, only to act.
Why they’d forbidden everything and demanded blind obedience.
“Fine. Do as you wish.”
“…!”
“Think with that head of yours. Act however you like. Ignore what I say if you must.”
With those parting words, Isaya left the drawing room in a near-flight.
After walking for a while, he stopped and clenched his fist again.
Even if Asilia started thinking and acting on her own, nothing would change.
If they were lucky, they might manage to kill Moria’s emperor. But even if that happened, they’d never return home.
“Revilla has abandoned us, my lord.”
He looked back toward the distant drawing room.
Even knowing they were forsaken, Isaya couldn’t stop.
Even if he told Asilia, she would likely think the same way.
Those abandoned by their nation all ended the same way. That truth was inescapable.
“We’re already discarded pieces.”
He turned his head and looked up at the sky.
“Even if it hastens death, at least… live like a human being for once.”
The blindingly bright sky illuminated him cruelly.
“If Moria’s emperor is sharp enough to undo that brainwashing… maybe you, at least, can live like a person.”
He could only murmur bitterly.
