Chapter 11
“So you’re telling me I should go meet that dog called Collie or whatever?”
“Yeah. Dogs understand each other, right?”
“What do you mean, dogs! I’ve told you several times already—I’m not a dog, I’m a divine beast!”
“So, does that mean you can’t communicate? With dogs?”
“I can.”
“Great, then.”
“Arghhh….”
Lunchtime.
I met Dubu in the bushes next to the prayer room of the Great Temple—where Pepper visits every day.
Pepper said she comes here around this time every day.
I have to return to the atelier within an hour, but she’ll come before then.
“But Dubu.”
“Mm?”
“Aren’t you dressed unusually fancy today?”
I pointed my chin at the yellow fedora on Dubu’s head.
Dubu lifted his chin proudly.
“I’m the divine beast assisting the magical saint now! I’m trying to look dignified!”
You just look ridiculous.
“Can’t you take it off?”
“Grrr….”
“Why are you growling…”
All I did was tell the truth, and now I have to stare at a puppy’s pathetic front teeth.
“You can growl all you want, but the fact that you look ridiculous right no—”
“Woof!”
“Did you just bite me?!”
We were butting heads, fighting like idiots with a dog, when—
“Woof! Woof!”
“Stop it! Collie will get hurt!”
“Woof! Woof! Woof!”
“!”
What now?!
“That sound came from the prayer room line direction!”
I grabbed Dubu under my arm and sprinted toward the sound.
Pushing past the manicured bushes, I saw people lined up to enter the prayer room.
And in the middle of them—Pepper.
But the situation…
“Woof!”
“I said stop!”
Pepper was hugging a golden retriever bigger than her, eyes teary. The golden retriever—most likely Collie—was barking furiously, and right in front of Collie’s black eyes were…
Two boys shooting toy guns at him?!
What the hell?!
“What do you think you’re doing!”
I ran over and snatched the guns away.
The boys, who had been snickering—‘Idiot, you missed’—stared wide-eyed at the intervening adult.
More than ten tiny rubber bullets were scattered on the ground.
Little brats…
“You clueless little pests! Didn’t anyone ever tell you that shooting a dog gets you shot in retu—”
“Seraphina!”
Dubu cut in urgently, whispering,
“You must maintain dignity as the magical saint!”
A magical saint does not execute people!
“Really?!”
How annoying!
Forcing a smile, I asked sweetly:
“Boys—what. Happened. Here?”
The boys whined indignantly.
“She started it!”
“Yeah! We were just playing with the dog, and she glared at us and told us to go away!”
“How is that playing?! You pulled Collie’s tail and bullied him!” Pepper shouted back without backing down.
“You kept kicking him while chasing him when he tried to run away!”
“You little—”
They kicked the dog too?!
“Fine! If I can’t execute you, then public floggi—”
“SERAPHINAAA!”
“I can’t flog them either?!”
Right then, a man rushed toward us—he must’ve just come out of the restroom.
“What’s going on here?!”
“Dad!”
The boys shrank behind him instantly.
“Are you these boys’ father?”
“Yeah, so what?”
“Then do you see this?”
Still smiling like a saint, I spoke:
“Your sons just shot a defenseless dog. Please take them home and teach them something called manners.”
“What?”
The father’s eyes widened as he heard the story. I expected shock, outrage—
Instead:
“You’re throwing a tantrum over some damn mutt?!”
“…Huh?”
Did I mishear?
Nope. He was proud.
He looked me over, then looked at Pepper behind me, assessing our threat level. He rolled up his sleeves and bellowed:
“My kids are twelve! They’re at the age where hunting games are natural! Dogs are exciting to them! And you’re scolding them for kicking a stupid dog?! This is why young women are such a problem these days!”
As if dogs are children or something!
“You’re at the age to get married, but you waste time with some mutt, and now you can’t tell what’s important anymore!”
Good job shooting that dog! Stand proud, boys!
He even patted their shoulders.
“…Wow.”
Excuse me, sir! Is crushing my confidence okay?!
“I can’t believe this…”
I let out a laugh, adjusting Dubu in my arms.
“There’s not just one mutt here, I see.”
Noticing Dubu, the man pointed accusingly. His finger hit Dubu’s fedora, knocking it off.
“Yipe!”
Dubu shrank.
And that was it. My patience snapped.
Alright. I’ll handle this like a magical saint.
Like a magical saint.
♡☆♧ I tossed the two toy guns to the ground ♧☆♡
☆☆ I grabbed the father’s still-wagging finger by the wrist ☆☆
♡ Sparkle! ♡
“What—what is this?!”
What do you think?
“Let go!”
No.
“Le—ARGH!”
Surprised? I’m pretty strong.
The power of justice☆
“ARGH! AAAAAH!”
I yanked the man’s arm down.
“Mister.”
Dragged helplessly toward me, he whimpered. I whispered gently—
Like a magical saint☆
“You keep your dog on a leash if it can’t be controlled. But your kids? No control, no leash… How are they better than a dog?”
If you raise children worse than a dog, put them on a leash.
“Here. Let’s start with you.”
I pulled a cheap ribbon from my pocket and tied it around his neck. The thick neck jiggled as he coughed.
Holding the ribbon tightly, I shook it lightly and said—
Listen well. This is a magical saint’s lecture☆
“Yes, children do stupid things. They’re twelve. But are you twelve? Why aren’t you apologizing?”
“G-gah—”
“Apologize while I’m being nice. I also love hunting games, you know?”
It took less than a minute for the man and his boys to apologize and flee.
I addressed the bystanders:
“He was surprisingly weak.”
Must’ve wasted all his strength helping his sons with their hunting games.
“If even a delicate woman like me can overpower him, the future of this country is grim.”
I clicked my tongue as the man ran off.
Justice served☆
“Seraphinaaa…”
Dubu whimpered at my side. I shrugged.
“Well, I used words, didn’t I.”
This is the magical saint of a new era. Get used to it.
If you don’t like it, find someone else☆
“By the way, what’s with all the stars at the end of your sentences?”
“I’m trying to sound magical☆”
“You sounded lawless☆”
“Still a saint though☆”
It’s fine. That man picked the fight.
Think about it. If I were a big young man, would he have lifted a hand?
“For example, someone like Arden…”
“Me? What about me?”
“…Huh?”
We turned around.
Arden, dressed in the Imperial Knights’ uniform, was standing behind us.
He glanced between me and Dubu tucked under my arm, frowning.
“Were you just talking to a dog?”
“N-nooooo?”
“I heard voices.”
“I was talking to myself.”
I laughed suspiciously. Arden didn’t buy it.
“I heard another voice.”
“You must’ve misheard.”
There are tons of people around! Ha ha ha! I gestured broadly.
Beside me, Collie the golden retriever wagged his tail, panting happily at Arden.
“He’s your friend!”
I pointed at Arden.
“See! He’s blond too! Go on, stick to him!”
“Woof!”
Collie immediately pressed his paws against Arden’s leg.
Golden hair coated the black uniform instantly.
Arden froze—his neat-freak instincts screaming—but Collie was too thrilled, so he couldn’t push him away.
“Go… away…”
“Woof!”
Whew.
I sighed in relief, since Arden’s attention was now elsewhere.
Then someone tugged my skirt.
“Hey.”
“Hm?”
Pepper looked up at me, her thin hair tied in two tight pigtails.
“Hey, hey.”
Pepper asked quietly:
“Can you get rid of my dad too, like you did that other guy?”
“…Oh.”
Pepper, sweetheart, don’t say that out loud.
People are staring…
