~Chapter 35~
I told Gilbert not to report the poisoning incident to the higher-ups.
There was a high chance they’d misunderstand it as me trying to get the Duke’s attention by faking a crisis.
But once Lady Olden’s betrayal solved everything, it seemed Gilbert ran to the Duke and told him everything without my permission.
‘The timing wasn’t bad, but he could have at least warned me first…’
As I was mumbling to myself, I realized I’d been so busy lately that I hadn’t had time to see Gilbert anyway.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to trouble Your Grace with my personal matters.”
“It wasn’t any trouble.”
The Duke’s gaze was unusually firm as he looked at me.
“The real problem is that I didn’t know you’d been poisoned. Even if our marriage was arranged, we are still husband and wife.”
“Your Grace…”
“Please, from now on, don’t hide things like this from me. I’m asking you.”
If the poison I drank had been something deadly, not just something to make me infertile, all the blame would have fallen on the Duke the moment I collapsed.
In that sense, his concern made sense.
Once I silently nodded, he finally relaxed his serious expression.
“After investigating, I found out you didn’t get poisoned by Hemokaran because of a small mistake by the herbalist.”
“A mistake?”
“Lady Olden mixed several poisonous herbs into the Hemokaran, but among them was a herb called silka, which actually acts as an antidote. You were lucky.”
The Duke explained:
Lady Olden had tried to use a poisonous herb called ‘Nuba’, but it looked almost identical to the antidote herb ‘Silka’. The herbalist had delivered the wrong one, so Lady Olden unintentionally gave me the antidote.
His explanation was detailed, but I couldn’t quite accept it.
“But if he’s an herbalist, he should know herbs better than anyone. Could he really mistake two types, even if they look similar?”
“That’s why you were lucky.”
The Duke turned away from me, his voice sounding a bit meaningful.
It must have taken a lot of work to investigate all the way back to the herbalist, but the Duke showed no sign of it.
“Lady Olden is still being chased. But she left no trace, so it’s not easy.”
“If she can escape Your Grace’s pursuit, her helpers must be pretty skilled.”
“That’s why… If we do catch her, would you let me decide what to do with her? Unless you want to punish her yourself…”
Suddenly, I remembered the past.
Right after I woke up in Elysia’s body, everything around me felt strange and awkward—except for one person: Lady Olden.
‘My lady, why don’t you just pull out that woman’s nails instead?’
‘No matter how much you burn her or twist her joints or torture her, she won’t open her mouth. Do you really think she’ll confess just by losing a nail?’
‘If you do it yourself, you might change your mind.’
Lady Olden’s methods were effective.
She always got what she wanted. She found out everything I knew, and who else was involved, leaving me like a trapped insect with no way to hide anything.
All those terrible tortures—most of them came from Lady Olden’s ideas.
Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe.
“Ma’am?!”
“…Ah.”
I blinked blankly.
Instead of thin, bony fingers covered in pus, I saw my pretty, white hand wearing a sapphire ring.
‘I can take revenge.’
Yes, now I had the power to get back at Lady Olden.
I could put her through the same, or even worse misery.
But… suddenly, it all felt meaningless.
Even if the past and present looked similar, they weren’t the same.
In this life, Lady Olden was only a spy—she hadn’t actually wronged me yet.
It was Elysia she hurt, not me.
“If you find her… please, do as you wish, Your Grace. I don’t want to be involved anymore.”
“Then, I will.”
The Duke made a bitter expression, though he had no way of knowing what I was really thinking.
“And as for the other maids—they didn’t directly commit crimes, but since they acted under Lady Olden’s orders, they can’t avoid punishment. I plan to exile them beyond the northern wall. Is that alright?”
“Do as you wish with them too.”
Exile beyond the northern wall was the harshest punishment in Lombard.
No human had ever survived setting foot on the black lands, the territory of monsters, beyond the wall.
Even the bravest knights only watched the monsters from the watchtowers.
What happens to exiles there?
No one knows for sure, but everyone guessed it was a terrible end—being chased down and killed by monsters.
‘Exile beyond the wall, huh…’
It was a much heavier punishment than I expected, but I didn’t try to stop him.
I was just too tired.
Maybe the Duke sensed that too, because after a moment, he carefully placed his hand on my forehead.
“You should get some rest.”
“Aren’t you going to lie down?”
“I’m fine.”
Suddenly, I couldn’t speak.
The way he looked at me was the same as the boy who used to stay by my side all night when I was sick as a child.
“I actually have pretty bad insomnia. Just lying down all night is worse torture for me, so please, you don’t have to worry—just sleep well.”
“Insomnia? You, Your Grace?”
The Edwin I remembered never had such problems.
The Duke just gave a faint smile.
“It just happened. I didn’t use to be this way, but… a lot of things happened.”
“….”
I didn’t reply.
Whenever I realized this Duke was a different person than the Edwin I remembered, I felt like I was the one being unfair—like I was blaming an innocent man.
It felt wrong to resent someone who had nothing to do with what I went through.
‘Is my resentment toward the Duke really justified?’
I couldn’t breathe.
But if it wasn’t justified… then who would take responsibility for my suffering?
Me, screaming in agony; my fingers crusted in pus, my body writhing in filth like a bug—
What about that me?
Am I just supposed to swallow it, endure it alone, and forget it ever happened?
‘No.’
I couldn’t do that.
The despair I felt then was burned into me like a scar—it was too real to just brush off as “the past.”
Someone had to pay for what I went through.
Even if this Duke was nothing like the Edwin who betrayed me, he was still responsible.
Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to go on.
Fighting back the storm of emotions, I turned away and closed my eyes.
Slowly, I slipped into unconsciousness.
In the small, dark room, there was the sound of quiet breathing.
Edwin quietly sat up.
He was a skilled warrior, used to moving without a sound, but he held his breath even more—afraid he’d wake Elysia.
“….”
Moonlight cast deep shadows across her sleeping face.
Her eyes were red and puffy.
After hesitating for a long time, Edwin carefully reached out and brushed her eyelids with his fingers. He felt moisture.
When he saw the tears, his face twisted with pain.
“What should I do with you…”
He thought it would be better if they never got close.
Keeping their distance and remaining at arm’s length, like before, was best. He’d always thought that way.
But for some reason…
Just seeing those tears on his fingertips made his resolve waver so easily.
