Chapter 54
Muttering like someone who had lost their mind and moving restlessly, I only came back to my senses when a rough hand grabbed my shoulder.
“Liz.”
Michael, my older brother, held my shoulders and looked straight into my eyes.
“The girl you’re looking for—Ji Eun-ha—doesn’t exist. You were dreaming. You’re still half-asleep and confused, that’s all.”
His voice was firm, like scolding a child who was throwing a tantrum.
Still breathing unevenly, I stared blankly into the eyes that were the same color as mine.
“I apologize for the trouble. I’ll take her with me now, so you don’t have to worry anymore.”
Apparently deciding that I had calmed down enough, Michael spoke awkwardly to Rixion Luhanes.
Following my brother’s lead, I turned toward Rixion Luhanes.
He wasn’t looking at Michael—he was looking at me.
His gaze, impossible for me to interpret, rested on me, and I slowly lowered my head.
There was no Ji Eun-ha.
It had all been just a dream.
Michael’s words fell on me like hundreds—thousands—of arrows raining down all at once.
“…No.”
When had it begun?
That quiet anxiety that lurked beneath the surface, slowly creeping outward, twisting into fear that someday I might be swallowed whole by my own nightmares.
Was it when Rixion Luhanes showed up at the blind date?
When he suddenly began to show interest in me?
When I ran into the male lead at the information guild, Setra, even though I had worked so hard to avoid him?
When the two children afflicted with Red Rat appeared before me?
When I couldn’t turn my back on them and stepped onto the stage of the original story myself?
When I realized I possessed the power that should have belonged to Ji Eun-ha?
Or… much earlier—since the moment I was born into this world?
“No, Brother.”
The anxiety swelling in a corner of my heart had been whispering to me all along.
Maybe Ji Eun-ha would never appear.
Maybe I would have to live in this world forever as her substitute.
Maybe the day I had been waiting for would never come.
Maybe I would never be able to go back—to the place I belonged, to the people I loved.
The whispers I had pretended not to hear were finally revealing themselves as reality, and I crumbled.
“It’s because… I ruined everything.”
A single tear fell as I looked up at my brother.
As if that one tear were a signal, the rest burst forth.
“I ruined everything.”
Realizing that I had no choice but to accept the outcome I had caused—or perhaps an outcome that had been determined from the beginning—I twisted my face in despair.
Without even thinking to wipe the tears pouring down my cheeks, I began to sob.
Born in a foreign world with a foreign body, waiting endlessly for the uncertain day I might return home, enduring long, lonely years with a secret that only I carried.
All that pent-up emotion spilled out in an endless torrent down my face.
I was scared, hurt, frustrated, lonely.
There was no way to hold back the tears.
In a world where neither Michael, nor Rixion, nor anyone else could ever truly understand me, I cried and cried—loudly, helplessly—like a child.
“Good grief… what on earth happened.”
Michael gently set the exhausted, sleeping Elizabeth in one corner of the carriage, then stepped back outside.
Facing Rixion, who had followed behind the carriage, Michael wore an expression full of concern. He ran a hand down his face as if he had no idea where to begin.
“It would be better to let her rest at my estate.”
“No. Now that I’m here, that’s not acceptable.”
First, the issue of taking Elizabeth from the ducal estate.
“Let me carry her.”
“No, it’s fine. She’s heavier than she looks.”
Then, another argument when Michael carried the sleeping Elizabeth out.
Having already clashed twice inside the mansion, an awkward tension hung between the two men.
Rixion was in a foul mood for his own reasons, and Michael was in a complicated mental state—worried, irritated, and exhausted.
He had just returned home for the first time in half a month after finishing his duties in the Kingdom of Cesar.
The very first thing he did upon arriving in the capital was confirm that his sister was not in the Christener estate.
Then he learned she had been staying at the Luhanes duke’s mansion ever since the very day he left.
Before departing, his sister—who had never had so much as a cold in her life—had suddenly collapsed and been unconscious for a full day.
She had recovered quickly afterward, easing his immediate fears, but throughout his time away from the capital, his thoughts had never strayed far from her.
And when he finally returned, the sister he had been so worried about wasn’t home.
Instead, he was told that the Luhanes household was “watching over her” due to her poor health.
Michael had rushed to the duke’s estate without even changing his clothes.
And the sister he found there was in worse condition than he expected.
Her face was half its usual fullness—clear evidence that she truly had been bedridden and unconscious for most of her stay.
On top of that, she mumbled nonsense about strange dreams—and then suddenly burst into heartbroken tears.
Worry, frustration, and anger all welled up inside him.
His opinion of Rixion Luhanes, which had softened somewhat after their conversation at the Founding Anniversary, plummeted.
“I did promise I wouldn’t interfere between the two of you…”
Michael finally brought up what he’d been holding back since Elizabeth woke up.
“But this isn’t acceptable.”
His hardened expression and irritated tone made his criticism unmistakable.
“No matter the circumstances, you should have sent her back to the marquisate first.”
Elizabeth collapsing hadn’t been Rixion’s fault.
But everything afterward? Michael had no intention of defending.
Even betrothed couples would be criticized for such impropriety—much less two unmarried young people spending weeks under the same roof.
In this country, a woman would face much harsher judgment.
Even if the two eventually married, she would likely be whispered about for years.
Michael’s anger stemmed from that.
He was grateful that Rixion had protected his sister, but if Rixion had used his head, he could have handled things far more wisely.
Even if it was inconvenient, the unconscious Elizabeth should have been sent back to her own home.
Michael knew how much pain the rumors had already caused his sister—and so he didn’t bother hiding his dissatisfaction.
At Michael’s criticism, Rixion lowered his gaze, his eyes drifting back to Elizabeth inside the carriage.
He wasn’t in a good mood either.
He understood perfectly well that Michael would come for his sister.
He understood he had no right to question Michael’s decision to take her away.
But understanding something logically was different from accepting it emotionally.
The feeling of having Elizabeth “taken” from him was growing into something sour and unpleasant.
And why, exactly, was he being criticized for protecting an unconscious girl?
Sending her back to the marquisate would’ve meant leaving her in the hands of servants, without her brother around.
He didn’t want that.
He wanted her to be where his hands could reach her.
When she woke up, he wanted to be the one by her side—just as she had been by his.
That plan had failed, but he didn’t regret keeping her at his estate.
Of course, Rixion wasn’t foolish enough to say any of this aloud.
There was no reason to provoke Michael further.
“Indeed.”
Lowering his gaze further, Rixion spoke in a tone of sincere remorse.
“I lacked foresight. My apologies.”
As Rixion yielded and apologized, Michael’s rigid expression eased somewhat.
“Once she wakes up, we’ll discuss things properly. For today, I’ll take my leave.”
He sighed habitually and turned away.
Leaving his unconscious sister sitting uncomfortably in a carriage made him uneasy. He wanted to return home as quickly as possible so she could rest.
Even though the physician had confirmed she was merely asleep, he couldn’t help worrying.
“Marquis Christener.”
Just as Michael was about to step into the carriage—
Rixion’s low voice stopped him.
“Do you have any guess… as to who the woman Lady Christener keeps calling
‘Ji Eun-ha’
might be?”
