Chapter 54. I Won’t Let You Go
It was beautiful. Frida had never seen such a beautiful view in her life. She walked to the terrace window to see the snowy peak even closer. Right now, she didn’t even care that the sunlight was hot on her skin.
“It’s really beautiful. Is that the famous Winterhorn? I didn’t know you could see that mountain from the castle.”
She had heard it was hard to see because the Sverggen side was lower and the mountains were rough.
“I thought it was only visible from the west.”
“That’s right. As far as I know, this is the only place in eastern Altas where you can see Winterhorn clearly.”
Daniel pulled out a chair for her, as if asking her to come sit. The wide room with the terrace only had a table and two chairs for breakfast, but the scenery filled the space. The big arched window was wide open and the morning breeze came in. The wind was cool and gentle, playing with Frida’s hair. The edge of the sunlight touched the table. As Frida walked up, Daniel moved the chair so she could sit easily. After that, he touched one of the small wildflowers in her hair.
“It’s pretty.”
As soon as his hand touched her, Frida bowed her head to hide her blushing face.
“Baroness Boild did it well. She said she was once a maid for Countess Chamberlain.”
“I see.”
Daniel answered quietly and went back to his seat. Only then did Frida notice the table was full of food.
“Adele must have worked hard. There’s too much food for just breakfast.”
“Please eat.”
As he started eating, Frida picked up her fork too. She was suddenly very hungry. Everything tasted delicious, and she forgot her nerves. When she was halfway through Adele’s special soup, Daniel asked,
“Do you like this place?”
“This room? Yes. Is this what you meant?”
“Yes. They say it was once the room of Marian Munheim, the first lady of the castle.”
“Really?”
Frida’s eyes grew wide. She looked around, curious.
“I thought the duke’s bedroom was on the third floor.”
“When Lady Marian died, the marquis locked this door and banned everyone from entering. Even when I first came, it was shut tight.”
He remembered the day he opened the room. The musty smell, the odd silence inside, and the beautiful view outside. And in the corner of the terrace, the desperate feeling of a woman’s scream. He felt like he could understand why the old lord had given this room to his wife.
“Frida.”
“Yes?”
Frida answered with gentle purple eyes. Daniel missed seeing her look at him like that.
“Do you still… like me?”
That simple question had been stuck in his head all this time. He remembered the feeling of her smile, her lips.
‘This is bad,’ he thought. He couldn’t stop his longing for her.
“Before you answer, listen to me.”
Before she completely fell into his hands. Before he trapped her.
“The life of the Duchess of Richard is not as simple as you think.”
This kindness was a trap. He wanted her to step in on her own.
“The Empress Dowager has been watching me ever since my mother died.”
“What? Why?”
The more pitiful he looked, the more easily she would open her heart.
“Because of her, there are no healthy noblemen left among the Twelve Dukes who could be emperor. Only Arthur Nottingen, who’s now a fugitive, and me, Daniel Richard, the bastard, are left.”
The Empress Dowager had made sure of it with rumors, tricks, and plots.
“She probably thought you would die before having a child, like other women from the Hawkborn family. That’s why you were chosen as my wife.”
But the Empress Dowager couldn’t predict everything. Frida survived, and Daniel had no intention of letting her life be at risk now.
“If she learns you’re not what the rumors say, she won’t leave you alone. She could bribe servants, watch you, even poison your food.”
When had Matilda started working for the Empress Dowager? Dominic was so sure they were safe.
“To live under constant watch and threat of death—that is the true life of the Duchess of Richard.”
He wondered if she would be afraid. Would she cry? If he saw that, maybe his feelings would finally calm down.
“Do you still like me?”
After he finished, silence filled the room. The wind shook the curtain, and the old smell tickled his nose. Daniel pressed his fingers to his brow, and then heard her quiet, trembling voice.
“I’ve already lived that kind of life.”
Her small white face looked at him firmly.
“I know it’s different, but… I’ve been watched, and I’ve felt afraid for my life. My parents called it love, but I know it’s not the same. Still, it wasn’t totally different either.”
“My whole life was like that until I came to the duchy. So I’m not afraid. But…”
Frida looked at Daniel through the sunlight.
“Maybe I really will die young, like the rumors say. Maybe I can’t have children, or do my duty as your wife. I worry about it all the time. I wonder what I can even do.”
She didn’t know what “push and pull” really meant, but she just wanted to say this.
“Even so, I like living as the Duchess of Richard.”
Even if she regretted saying this tomorrow, today she wanted to tell him her true feelings.
“And I like you. I want to like you more every day.”
Even if she had to leave him someday, at least for now, she wanted to love him as much as possible.
“So unless you really hate me, please don’t push me away.”
Her wide purple eyes were steady as she looked at him.
“I want to live the rest of my life as your wife, Daniel.”
The sunlight made her squint. When she opened her eyes again, Daniel was standing in front of her, blocking the sun. His face looked shaken and worried for once.
“Why do you… show your true feelings so easily? Why are you so beautiful, even in the shade I made?”
He slowly bent his head.
“Now, you’ll never be able to leave me.”
No, that wasn’t enough.
“Because I won’t let you go.”
Daniel pressed his lips to Frida’s smiling mouth, holding back his longing as much as he could.
Meanwhile, Emperor Leopold’s plans to head south were stopped by Baroness Bütain’s “pregnancy scandal.” It turned out to be just a stomachache, but she stayed sick in bed. Leopold was reaching his limit as he looked at her shining golden hair.
“Patricia, you and I know each other too well to play these tricks.”
“I don’t know what you mean, Your Majesty.”
He was losing interest in her.
“Did you really think you could hold me here with this? Maybe I’ve been too soft on you. Or maybe you just think I’m easy.”
She turned her head away with a pout instead of giving a lame excuse. Leopold rang the bell.
She quickly sat up in bed.
“Let me go with you. I’m tired of being stuck alone in this boring place.”
“That’s what happens when you make my mother angry. Someone as clever as you should know better.”
Just then, the door opened and his attendant, Baron Bindermann, entered.
“Did you call, Your Majesty?”
“Send word to Utrecht that I’ll be arriving soon. We leave in three days.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
As soon as Bindermann left, Patricia jumped out of bed.
“I’m going too. Leopold, let me go with you.”
As soon as she saw he might really leave, she acted sick, pretended to be pregnant, and made excuses. Leopold gave her a sharp smile and lifted her chin.
“Our lady must be eager to see her first love.”
