Chapter 8 — Should I Be a Sucker or Trash
Mertz looked pretty tired. He turned toward Gisele’s voice on the orb like he’d noticed her.
<Gisele?>
“I have something to tell you.”
<What is it? Did something happen to Yulita?>
For a second, Gisele thought he was being dumb. He loved Yulita so much, yet he’d made choices that hurt her. Gisele gave him a bit of a glare.
“No — it’s advice for you.”
Mertz furrowed his brow.
<Advice?>
“Wear something similar to what you wore when you first met Mom. Then apologize to her sincerely. That’s the only way you’ll be able to win her back!”
Gisele couldn’t help raising her voice a little. Luckily, Yulita still seemed asleep.
<Why would I do that all of a sudden?>
“Mom misses how things were when you two first met. You should beg her — really apologize for selling whatever that unconscious thing was!”
Mertz lowered his silver eyes — maybe he knew he’d done wrong.
<…You’re right. I did trick her, after all.>
“You tricked her?!”
<I summoned Yulita, and while she wasn’t looking, I accessed her unconscious mind.>
Gisele’s face flushed with anger.
“That is so rude — worse than garbage!”
She almost shouted. No matter the reason — even if he wanted to stop losing Yulita to someone else — he hadn’t cared at all about how much that betrayal would hurt her.
“If I were Mom, I’d have ripped all his hair out by now.”
<Hair grows back. If that’s forgiveness enough, fine.>
That wasn’t the response she expected. Well, he did look handsome even if bald.
“Anyway, you heard me. I’m going back to bed. I’ll check later to see what you did!”
Gisele didn’t want to see his face anymore and shut the orb off. Thinking about how guilty and sad Yulita must feel, she half-wondered whether marrying Theo might be better.
“No, no — that still wouldn’t be right.”
Still, even if someone hurt you, you shouldn’t hurt another person just to make yourself feel better. Yulita couldn’t handle everything right now — Gisele had to help.
She crawled back into bed but didn’t sleep that night. She stayed up all night and finally left her room the next morning.
“You up, Gisele?”
Yulita’s eyes were a little puffy. Maybe she knew Gisele had overheard; she kept avoiding her daughter’s gaze. Gisele walked behind her and hugged her waist.
“Mom.”
Yulita smiled like she thought Gisele was finally feeling better.
“My baby, feeling like being spoiled today?”
“Yeah. Thanks, Mom. Love you.”
“Mom’s the lucky one — you grew up so pretty.”
“That’s because you’re pretty, Mom!”
Yulita ladled soup into a bowl and sat Gisele at the table. Gisele wasn’t very hungry but ate anyway for her mom.
“Tastes good.”
“Eat a lot.”
Yulita kept drinking water like her throat was tight. Gisele scooped up a spoonful and fed it toward Yulita’s lips.
“Mom — ah.”
At first, Yulita hesitated, but she couldn’t help it and took a bite. Yulita wiped the soup from Gisele’s mouth.
“Thanks.”
After they ate, Gisele decided to check the herb garden and Yulita went to iron a dress.
Gisele half-checked the garden and then wandered near Theo’s house. Mrs. Laura, Theo’s mom, spotted her and called out.
“Oh my, Gisele! My granddaughter!”
“Oh — Mrs. Laura.”
“You need to call me grandma now.”
Mrs. Laura pinched Gisele’s cheek. She seemed kind and gentle but sometimes that kindness felt a bit suffocating to Gisele. Right now, she seems to be sizing Gisele up as a connection to money.
“Granny will make you something tasty.”
“You look too young to be a grandma, though.”
“I became a grandma early, what can I say? Come inside — I’ll make you something good.”
Gisele smiled politely and shook her head.
“No thanks, Mrs. Laura. I’m here to see Theo.”
“Oh, Theo’s out in the field. Come in and have cookies and milk while you wait.”
“No, it’s okay. I’ll go find him now.”
Gisele dashed off before Mrs. Laura could stop her. True enough, Theo was working in the fields.
“Theo!”
He looked up from the crops and saw her.
“Gisele? You’re here!”
“Can I talk to you a sec, Theo?”
Theo came closer.
“What’s up, Gisele?”
He seemed unusually bright — maybe he was excited about marrying Yulita.
“I heard about Mom and Theo.”
“Oh? Really?”
Theo looked nervous; you could read everything on his face.
“So… what do you think?”
“I don’t like it!”
“What? Why?”
Gisele stared him straight in the eyes. She hated hurting this earnest, decent young man, but it had to be said.
“Mom doesn’t love you. I’m sure of it.”
“I know that too! But it doesn’t matter. If I can make Yulita happy….”
Gisele was exasperated by how stubborn Theo was.
“No! Mom still loves someone else — our dad! She’s using you to forget him. I told you before!”
Theo lightly thumped Gisele on the forehead like scolding a kid. He didn’t seem to believe her.
“I don’t know if that’s true, and even if it is, I’m a little hurt. I didn’t expect to be treated like that.”
“I’m sorry to say it to you, but really — Mom’s using you!”
Gisele was about to lose it. He wouldn’t listen. Then Theo placed a hand on her shoulder, looking serious.
“Listen, Gisele.”
“About what?”
“I don’t mind being used.”
“What…?”
Gisele stared, stunned. Theo put his hand over his heart.
“I love Yulita. And I love you. If the people I love use me, that’s fine — I’ll accept it.”
Gisele’s mouth fell open.
“You’ve lost your mind…”
She blurted it out. There was no taking it back. Theo just smiled.
“So let Yulita use me as much as she wants. I don’t mind.”
“Are you… a total sucker, big brother?”
She knew she was being rude, but she had to ask.
“Yeah, I am a sucker. Now go play outside, kid.”
Gisele left in a daze and wandered home. Yulita had finished ironing and was trying on a white dress.
“Gisele, you’re back?”
“Yeah…”
Gisele flopped down on the sofa by the stove. Her mom looked beautiful in the white dress — the same one Gisele had picked for Mertz. It felt ironic that it was the dress for Theo’s wedding.
“You look pretty, Mom.”
Neither mom nor Theo seemed to understand anything anymore. Gisele felt helpless, thinking maybe Mertz would deal with it.
“Really? The ceremony’s going to be simple, so I hope it works out.”
“Even if you wore rags, Mom, you’d still be pretty.”
Yulita smiled. It was the first real smile Gisele had seen in a while.
“But… why did Mertz have an illegitimate child if he loves Mom so much?”
A thought popped into her head. Why would he have brought a child into the world? Yulita seemed to avoid Mertz not because of the kid but because he had deceived her.
“I can’t ask Mom that.”
“Gisele, you look tired. Rest. I’ll make something yummy.”
Gisele went back to her room and opened the crystal orb. Many videos popped up, but Mertz’s office was empty now — she couldn’t reach him.
Her eyes landed on the boy she’d met before.
“Was his name Henrik?”
She tapped his video. Henrik’s face lit up, and he blinked at her.
An awkward silence. Henrik stared as if waiting for Gisele to speak.
Well, she was the one who called first anyway.
“Hi.”
<…What do you want?>
“Nothing special. Just checking in.”
Henrik’s expression twisted — understandable. Gisele giggled a little.
<…Why are you laughing?>
“No reason. I just wanted to talk.”
Henrik’s face went pale. Had she really offended him? Gisele felt a bit embarrassed.
“Sorry if that made you feel bad.”
Henrik’s stony face returned to neutral.
<No.>
“Huh?”
<I didn’t feel bad.>
But his cheeks were a little flushed compared to his stiff face.
“By the way, I know your dad is the emperor. Don’t ask how I know.”
<…My father?>
“Yes. But I wanted to ask — why are you always alone? Where’s your mother?”
Henrik looked down, then lifted his eyes. There seemed to be a sheen of moisture in them.
‘Oops, I shouldn’t have asked that…’
Realizing she might have been too blunt, Gisele was about to apologize when Henrik spoke first.
<I don’t have a mother.>
“What? Someone without a mom… how can that be…”
Gisele couldn’t finish her sentence. Some people truly had nothing — it was a sensitive subject. She felt awful, like she kept touching someone else’s wounds. She wanted to shut her mouth.
“Um, sorry if I said something wrong.”
<I didn’t feel bad.>
Henrik tilted his head and said that, which was a relief. Gisele breathed out.
“But why isn’t the emperor your father? You were born from him, right? You should have rights!”
<…I am something created by the emperor’s mistake.>
A mistake? Gisele’s mind raced with all kinds of guesses — drunken mistakes, fleeting affairs…
“Trash
