Chapter 192
One person couldn’t open their eyes, yet the world kept turning just fine.
Pecion couldn’t get used to that fact.
The twins, who had pouted when Arellin stubbornly sent them away but then felt relieved when they realized she was sick; Harun, who had returned obediently but was secretly curious about the reason; even the childhood friends and Chloe, who sent get-well gifts and worried—everyone laughed, talked, and played as usual, independent of Arellin’s condition.
Pecion found it strange.
How could they laugh?
Even now, Pecion wanted to rush to her side. Were worried about leaving Arellin alone.
How could everyone adapt to her absence and live normally? Even with such a glaring emptiness, I feel it so intensely.
How…?
No laughter came.
He didn’t feel like talking to anyone, and even though he managed to function, studying was impossible.
His mind was entirely consumed by a single thought, leaving no room for anything else.
The first time he had felt affection for someone.
For Pecion, who had only ever known how to like someone clumsily and awkwardly but sincerely, the sudden gap of emotions hitting him so early was unbearable.
He was just liking someone, yet the more his feelings grew, the more it hurt.
Because you don’t like me.
Because what you feel isn’t as strong as what I feel.
Because you’re happy even without me.
Because you don’t lean on me.
Because you don’t need me.
He pressed down the ugly, unworthy emotions swelling inside him, but he hadn’t yet learned how to handle them.
“Arell…”
And now, it even made it impossible to resent you.
Is liking someone always this painful?
People say it’s happy and wonderful, so why…
Why is it only difficult and exhausting for me?
“This is weird.”
Am I doing something wrong?
Even though everyone tells me not to, I want to see you and stay by your side.
What I want…
Is simply to be with you.
Just to be together, in the simplest way.
As you once said, I just wanted to grow and spend a long time with you.
He remembered the small hand extended to him like a miracle, even when asking just to be liked a little felt like a selfish wish.
“Only now you said you like me.”
Pecion wondered what he could do.
Nothing.
When Arellin was awake, he could have brought her elixirs, tonics, or encouraged her to exercise—but lying here, there was nothing he could do.
Nothing.
“Is she… going to die?”
Is she really going to die?
Everyone said it was probably better not to see her anymore since she might die, but he couldn’t understand.
What does dying mean?
Disappearing?
Going to a place where we can never meet again?
If that’s the case, I don’t want it. I don’t want her to die. I don’t want her to be in pain. Arellin looks prettier when she smiles…
Beep!
A tiny divine creature, On, somehow entered, chirping and flying over Pecion and Arellin’s heads.
“Can’t you do something like treatment?”
Beep!
“Useless.”
Beep-beep!
It pecked at his arm with its beak, but Pecion’s attention was entirely on the sleeping Arellin.
Even if he could only see her once a month, or even once a year, he wished she could stay by his side for a long, long time.
“You keep making me want to live.”
He remembered the quiet, bittersweet smile Arellin had once given him.
What was she thinking then?
“Your Highness, it’s time to leave now.”
Griam’s quiet hint made Pecion hesitate.
He wanted to look at Arellin a little longer.
“Just a little.”
“……”
“Just a tiny bit.”
Though he should have urged him to leave according to protocol, Griam waited quietly, concerned by Pecion’s dark expression.
Pecion just watched the sleeping Arellin.
And just as Griam was about to call him because time was running out—
A twitch.
Her eyelashes fluttered, and Arellin opened her delicately closed eyes.
“…Huh?”
At the dumbfounded sound, Arellin turned her head and blinked several times.
Then…
“Wow.”
Her voice hoarse, she called his name.
“It’s Pecion.”
Pecion couldn’t immediately accept reality.
Her rose-colored eyes, previously blurry, focused, and Arellin tilted her head.
“Was it a dream?”
That’s when Pecion snapped back to reality.
“Not a dream.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
Arellin moved as if to check if he was real, and Pecion held her hand, cooperating.
“…It’s real.”
What a coincidence. Could such a coincidence even exist?
“Why… are you here?”
“I wanted to see you.”
“Yeah…”
Arellin nodded weakly.
Pecion checked her complexion. The pinkish glow had faded, leaving her as pale as when he first saw her.
“Does it hurt?”
“Mm, no…”
Arellin blinked slowly.
“I’m just… really sleepy.”
Her voice was weak. She would probably fall asleep again soon.
Pecion’s brief uplift at seeing her awake plummeted immediately.
“Isn’t there anything I can do?”
He wanted to do anything for her. He wanted to give her something.
But Arellin only shook her head, expecting nothing.
“Arell, don’t you want anything from me?”
She turned her head slowly, looking at him carefully. Her small, delicate hand reached out weakly.
“You…”
“……”
“I wish… you wouldn’t cry.”
Ah.
She had been crying.
Pecion’s large eyes filled with tears, frightened that her fragile hand might break if he held it too tightly.
“I feel so helpless.”
“But… it’s not your fault that I’m sick.”
“Still…”
“I said I would… regret it.”
“I didn’t regret it.”
“I see…”
At Pecion’s stubborn words, Arellin gave a bitter smile.
No matter how long she had been awake, her eyes slowly closed again.
“Sleepy again?”
Though he knew he had to let her sleep, it had been so long since they had talked that he didn’t want to let go.
With a voice dripping with longing, Arellin closed her eyes but faintly smiled.
“Xion.”
“Yes.”
“I like you.”
Pecion froze. Seeing him momentarily at a loss, Arellin smiled faintly.
“So… I hope you’re happy too.”
Pecion thought Arellin was teasing him.
Why would she say that at a moment like this?
Why now?
She peeked her eyes open and looked at him.
“Xion, are you happy?”
He should have said yes, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it.
“…I don’t know.”
Everything felt suffocating. Everything around him.
“I just want to grow up quickly.”
Maybe when he became an adult, he wouldn’t feel so powerless and frustrated.
Adults could do anything.
If only I were an adult.
Arellin smiled faintly, nodded, and resumed her steady breathing, falling asleep again.
Pecion waved at her and touched her hand, but Arellin didn’t wake up.
“Ah.”
Upon hearing the news from Griam, Mehen arrived late and changed his expression to frustration when he saw Pecion leaving the room.
“Has the young lady fallen asleep again?”
Pecion nodded and passed by Mehen.
“I’ll be going now.”
Mehen followed, conflicted, and suggested:
“Your Highness, maybe it’s better not to come to Halbern anymore?”
“Why?”
“You know why.”
Pecion’s gaze lingered on Arellin’s door before turning away.
“No, I don’t want that.”
Mehen gave a bitter smile at Pecion’s stubborn refusal.
[Status Ailment: ‘Weakness’ intensifies]
He frowned at the status window that had even seeped into his dreams.
Even if you don’t teach me, I know, you jerk.
Though asleep, his consciousness remained awake. Most of the time, he dreamt, but occasionally he heard the voices of those guarding him: Mehen, the maids, or Pecion.
He tried desperately to wake up, but the status ailment was more powerful than he expected.
‘Still, if I stay asleep, I can live for about another year…’
He remembered the information he had obtained from the Laplace demon in his dream and clicked his tongue.
He had trusted the wizards…
Suddenly, he felt his body floating.
His eyes opened slightly.
What? Had he woken up?
The familiar ceiling greeted him.
A cool breeze brushed his cheeks, and when he turned his head, he saw a familiar silhouette bathed in bright moonlight.
Cheiyan smiled faintly.
“You’re still not dead.”
