Chapter 13
She swallowed hard. The person who once smiled at her surfaced in her mind.
She thought she had forgotten—yet the memories returned vividly enough to make her hands tremble.
Seeing her pale face, Isilia rose to her feet. Mary lowered her head, watching the woman walk away with the child.
> *[Asahi]*
> *[What is your name?]*
> *[It suits you. It sounds like a lady’s name.]*
…Her head throbbed.
The next day, she went out to the garden at Isilia’s invitation.
While watching the children, the woman smiled—and their eyes met.
She was exactly the same as yesterday.
The woman who had asked about her meeting with Louyan suddenly spoke.
> *“He must love you very much.”*
What was she thinking?
Mary avoided her gaze.
It wasn’t pity—yet her heart ached.
Then came the unexpected nickname.
Her body stiffened.
She couldn’t understand the sudden change.
This woman was even harder to read than the one Mary served.
> *“A gift.”*
The woman had grown gentle toward her.
Mary had never wished for complications involving men and women—but the woman’s attitude was strange.
> *“It’s clearly spring.”*
Mary fidgeted with the flower crown handed to her.
A floral scent lingered.
She thought of a wedding.
She remembered the ceremony she had attended—small, with only a handful of people.
Two figures stood out back then:
One was the person she served.
The other… was a beautiful woman with silver hair.
Silver hair—Isilia was staring at her.
Mary lifted her head.
Those golden eyes narrowed slightly.
> *“Congratulations, Mary.”*
For what?
Isilia smiled at her puzzled expression, amused by Mary’s surprise.
This woman…
> *“Congratulations on your marriage.”*
> *“I’m happy for you.”*
Brown eyes smiling at her surfaced in her mind.
Something strange washed over Mary, and she froze where she stood.
Something fell—dripping.
“…Why…”
The unfinished words stuck in her throat.
Her chest hurt.
—*So now she feels guilty.*
> *“This is my wife, Isilia von Endrianz.”*
Mary remembered the woman who had stood speechless, looking back and forth between her and Louyan.
And now, that same woman congratulated her on the marriage.
“Hah.”
Did she truly love Louyan?
How could she act like this toward Mary?
Yet Mary had no right to question her.
Realizing this, she let out a bitter laugh.
Sorting through the documents the crown prince had tossed at her, Mary bowed her head.
—
### **Chapter 3. The Wrongdoing Was Not One-Sided**
> *“My lady.”*
Louyan looked startled.
He was younger then, a bit boyish, as he lowered his head.
Raking his hair with a sigh, he looked exhausted.
In the memory, she held something out to him.
> *“My lady…”*
He looked down at her with an expression between discomfort and irritation.
She smiled up at him.
Ah, yes… she remembered.
On that day, she had prepared herbal tea for him because he looked tired.
Did he accept it?
Or did he refuse…?
The memory blurred.
> *“Have a safe trip.”*
She watched him leave for the palace, invitation in hand.
From his more mature face, it must have been after they were married.
Louyan hesitated at the door—unlike him.
She turned, confused.
Their eyes met.
He stared at her for a long time before turning away.
His tightly closed lips were what remained in her memory.
> *“Isilia.”*
When had it begun?
Long after the wedding, the man who used to smile at her became quiet again.
Perhaps it had been happening for a long time.
The last expression he had shown her was a faint, bitter smile
whenever their eyes met.
After that, no expression at all.
Why did she only realize it now?
The Isilia she remembered at seventeen had no expression.
Busy adapting to society, she hadn’t looked at him properly at all.
She had changed—
and in doing so, she had changed him too.
Yet she told herself he still loved her.
Satisfied herself with that comfort.
Wrapped in work, she never looked at him.
Ah—
What a foolish woman.
What a selfish woman.
And yet, she still clung to her own feelings.
Still unchanged.
Regret washed over her.
She opened her eyes.
Soft sheets beneath her.
Her room.
“……”
Her mind was hazy.
She walked to the window and opened it.
The light stung her eyes.
She had been dreaming.
Why a dream like that?
Ridiculous.
She was angry—at her ignorance.
When had she even begun wearing a mask around her own husband?
Did Louyan see her and think that her love had already left?
A humorless laugh escaped.
He must have found her absurd.
Pretending to be a tragic heroine—she was pathetic.
Still selfish.
Still only thinking of herself.
What had she done?
What had she ruined?
A soft sound—
She turned.
Through the slightly open door, she saw a pair of blue eyes.
The child flinched when their eyes met.
Isilia smiled.
“Come here, Johann.”
She bent down, arms open.
After a moment’s hesitation, the child ran into her embrace.
She stroked his hair.
He smelled faintly of flowers—perhaps he had been in the garden.
> *“Cold wind is not good for you. How long have you been standing there?”*
She remembered thinking his tone was harsh—but recalling it now, it was simply calm.
> *“I’ll prepare warm water. Don’t go outside again.”*
Young Isilia pouted, unhappy with how Louyan didn’t react the way she wanted.
> *“You mustn’t.”*
He sounded mildly troubled.
Seeing her memories now, everything looked different than how she had felt back then.
Isilia laughed bitterly.
Her foolishness suffocated her.
Why hadn’t she seen him?
She loved him loudly, but never saw him clearly.
She only acknowledged her own feelings.
In her memories, Louyan was always worrying—
waiting outside in the cold until she came back inside.
> *“You’ve been thinking for a long time. Your expression is worth seeing.”*
She snapped back to reality.
She sat with the crown prince, drinking tea.
Jordan laughed lightly, in a good mood.
Unlike her.
Louyan must still be at the palace.
She hated herself.
Yet she still only followed her feelings.
“You look pale.”
“…I’m fine.”
“You were sick for two days.”
“…What?”
Jordan muttered something about her having too much pent up.
She asked how he knew.
He smirked.
“Zion came back looking upset, so I asked.”
Two days.
Yesterday was the young prince’s monthly visit.
She must have fainted, and the butler sent him away.
The child came to see her every month—
playtime was longer than when she visited the palace.
He must have been disappointed.
She should check on El.
> *“—Are you listening?”*
“…I’m sorry.”
“You seem distracted today.”
“……”
“I feel bad making someone who just woke up from an illness run around, but His Majesty wants to see you tomorrow. Bring the duke with you.”
“…What?”
“Looks like Count Agnes found out. The emperor isn’t pleased. Thanks to the Endrianz family, the palace is walking on thin ice.”
“…What do you mean?”
Jordan put his cup down.
He didn’t intend to explain.
The emperor had summoned her—together with Louyan.
Why?
If two days passed since the ceremony…
Then quite some time had passed since the wedding of Louyan and Mary.
Had the rumors finally reached her father?
She chuckled to herself.
Maybe His Majesty feared her father would quit out of anger.
