Chapter 4
She wondered if she should be angry at this point, or yell at the woman, or maybe throw the tea at her… The thought was dull and distant, and she found herself absurdly calm. The woman who had been busy hiding something couldn’t act. She didn’t know how. She had forgotten even that. When Isilia nodded, the woman looked at her in puzzlement. Seeing every thought reflected so clearly in those amber eyes made Isilia laugh.
“I heard you had a fiancé.”
“……”
At those words, the woman flinched violently. Her eyes trembled in panic—almost comically so. Was it a weakness? If she followed Ruiyan here, doesn’t that mean it’s already over between them? Marillian’s face grew pale. To be so easy to read… Isilia put down her teacup.
“You don’t look well, Lady. Are you alright?”
“…I’m fine.”
“Your complexion doesn’t look good. I’ll call a physician. El and I will leave, so please rest, Lady.”
“…I’m sorry, Madam.”
“No, don’t worry about it. More importantly—”
This meeting wouldn’t end today. Isilia smiled at Marillian.
“Tomorrow, I’ll be taking the children to the garden. Would you like to join us?”
She felt someone tug on her dress and looked down.
“Mom…”
Half-asleep, Johan rubbed his eyes and reached out to her. Holding the babbling child, Isilia walked down the hallway. Johan was always drowsy, not energetic even at night, which worried both her and Ruiyan. He slept too much. Maybe he should see a doctor… She knocked on the door. Light footsteps sounded, and the door opened. The blue in front of her made her smile. El’s golden eyes folded into a smile that mirrored hers. El reached out to hold her hand.
“……”
Thanks to her instructions to the butler, tea and light snacks were already set out. A woman sat waiting. El approached Marillian and bowed. Flustered, Marillian returned the greeting. Curious about the stranger, Johan squirmed to be put down, and as soon as she released him, he toddled straight to his sister. Watching him imitate El and greet Marillian was adorable. Her beloved—her precious children. Smiling, Isilia walked toward them. Marillian rose from her seat. In the bright light, her red hair looked vibrant enough to seize attention. Facing that striking color, Isilia spoke.
“Good morning, Lady Enderick.”
“Good morning, Madam.”
Marillian seemed awkward under the children’s staring eyes. When Isilia sat on the cloth laid over the ground, her dress puffed out, and Johan burst into giggles. She turned to Marillian. She hesitated about sitting, which only made her expression stranger. But what could she do? She was already seated. At least she had prepared a cloth because a lady was joining. Usually, she sat directly on the ground with the children. …Ruiyan also liked sitting like this. Remembering how gentle he became with children, she smiled. Yes, they had been like that once. Johan approached Marillian, staring up at her with a smile.
“She’s pretty, isn’t she?”
“Yeah.”
Marillian’s cheeks flushed at the child’s innocent comment. So she’s weak to compliments. Watching the children run to the flower beds, Isilia finally spoke. Despite her tangled feelings, her voice was empty of emotion. The breeze carried the scent of flowers between them. Marillian’s flustered face came into view between petals dancing in the air. For someone from a ducal house, she was clumsy at hiding emotion. The butler’s report said the Enderick Duke rarely attended social events. Compared to normal noble ladies, Marillian had almost no exposure. She lacked experience. Watching her trembling eyes, Isilia finished her evaluation with complete detachment.
She smiled at the nervous woman.
“Did he ever tell you he loved you?”
“…What…?”
“I asked whether you heard him say he loved you, Lady.”
Should I repeat it?
Her teasing voice made Marillian shut her mouth. Pale and speechless—how amusing. Isilia asked again, gently.
“Did he ever express his feelings to you?”
“……”
“Did you hear those words from him?”
She already knew the answer. She just wanted to watch her struggle. And to confirm it—though she already understood. Isilia smiled. El’s golden eyes curved.
Yes, she heard it.
If not, she wouldn’t be this shaken.
“He must love you very much.”
Marillian looked away. How pathetic, how gentle. Once, she’d boldly insisted on being called by a pet name—yet now she shrank like this. If you were going to be bold at the beginning, shouldn’t you stay that way? Are you feeling guilty toward me? Isilia smiled. The tiny flinch that followed was satisfying. She wasn’t pitying her. This woman was suffering because of her own love. Feeling sorry didn’t change anything. Even if Marillian pitied her, Isilia had no intention of giving her what she wanted.
“The weather is lovely, Lady.”
“……”
“The spring breeze is too warm to stay locked in a room, Mari.”
At the sudden nickname, Marillian froze. Isilia smiled silently. Now she understood why Marillian had been invisible until now—she had been avoiding Isilia out of consideration. Not fear of the Duchess, but consideration as a woman. That difficult-to-understand kindness, Isilia understood. Marillian was blunt yet gentle. Strong, but soft. She had the same earnestness Ruiyan had fallen for. She had the charm of someone who loved purely.
…Such an incomprehensible way of thinking.
“Lady Marillian, I envy you.”
Was he happy because he met someone just like himself? Ruiyan, who grew tired of Isilia’s unpredictability, must have found comfort in someone straightforward. She looked away. Marillian’s gaze followed, but she ignored it. When had she ever heard those words herself?
[I love you.]
When Isilia first said it, the expression Ruiyan showed was frozen and cold. He answered stiffly:
[If you say you fell in love at first sight, then you only looked at my appearance, Lady. How can you speak of love so lightly?]
She remembered that stubborn, logical lecture that followed. Still, she continued to say she loved him. To learn he thought her feelings were shallow—how had she reacted then?
First love is clumsy. Perhaps she still is.
She turned to Marillian again.
“Lady Marillian, the weather is truly lovely.”
How could she hate someone like that?
The soft spring breeze scraped against her face. Smiling, she looked at Marillian.
“……”
Not long after that tea time, Isilia was summoned to the palace by Jordan. Early in the morning, he was cautiously watching her expression. His worried gaze made her pause. El tilted his head at Isilia’s subdued mood. The clever royal child led him away. Marillian was Jordan’s aide, so even a child would feel the strange tension. Marillian and Ruiyan must have been discreet—but those closest to them couldn’t be fooled. Perhaps Jordan already knew. Just as Ruiyan once said to Isilia:
“…Is it going well?”
At the quiet question, Isilia set down her teacup. Jordan was being uncharacteristically careful. Amused, she laughed lightly. His expression twisted in annoyance, then he fell silent. Seeing her old friend like this, Isilia smiled faintly.
“It’s going well.”
If he meant the wedding—everything was proceeding perfectly. The duke’s retainers were efficient. Today, before leaving the house, the butler had informed her that preparations—originally planned for seven days—were already ahead of schedule and would finish in two. How competent they were. Jordan’s expression was strange as she sipped her tea.
“Marillian…”
Between a six-year friend and a talented subordinate—he must feel conflicted. Isilia smiled at his silence. He sighed.
“In the past, you would’ve torn the palace apart in a rage. You’ve gotten calm.”
She knew he was mocking her. She didn’t reply. Realizing she didn’t want to talk, he changed the subject.
“There are no perfect secrets, Ria.”
“I know.”
“Some people entering and leaving the palace are noticing. Count Agnes works in Administration, far from Ruiyan in Foreign Affairs, so they don’t know yet. But rumors always reach where the principals are.”
