Episode 20
I threw the question out casually, but judging by their reaction, it really was the Getelin Count’s mansion they visited.
How annoying.
I flicked his now-smooth forehead with my finger and turned away.
At the same time, Logrié rose from his seat, a picture-perfect smile on his lips.
“I’m going to go practice swordsmanship.”
He immediately turned and walked off. Ponent hesitated, then stood up as well.
“H–hey, wait! I’m coming too!”
Ponent hurried after him, calling out, but Logrié neither stopped nor looked back.
What’s his problem now?
I watched him go with disinterest, then waved a hand toward Arman.
“Why are you still standing there? Go rest.”
Arman bowed deeply and left.
Kinesia stared at his retreating back, her expression a strange mix of sympathy and distrust.
She said nothing.
“You look like your head is full of thoughts.”
“…….”
Whenever she doesn’t like how I handle something, she protests like this.
I sipped my juice. Kinesia turned her head toward me. Her eyes followed my hand as I set the cup down.
“Do you trust Arman?”
“Is that important?”
“Of course. How could you keep someone you don’t trust at your side?”
“If he moves the way I want him to, I can keep him. And right now, he moves very well.”
“So Arman going to Count Getelin—was your intention? Does he even know that?”
“If he knew, would he be trembling like that, thinking he was found out?”
I even answered, but she still looked like she didn’t understand a word.
Makes sense. If you understood me, you’d be an emperor by now.
I patted her shoulder and hopped off the chair. She followed me, her voice strained with disappointment.
“You’re planning to use Arman like a pawn on a chessboard? To get him killed?”
“If he’s unlucky.”
“He may have owned some land, but he’s still a farmer’s son. He only went to Count Getelin because things got hard. He was threatened and forced into doing something bad.”
“That’s why I showed mercy.”
“You’re using him for your benefit. How is throwing him into danger ‘mercy’?”
I stopped and looked at her.
She wasn’t even trying to hide her disappointment.
Disgust filled her eyes, anger filled her voice.
“You’re threatening him because he’s poor and powerless, scaring him so he’s forced to do what you want. How are you any different from Count Getelin?”
Of course. Luxor’s daughter—idealistic and righteous to an annoying degree.
“Carrying the duties of a ruler around like a sacred text, are we?”
“Don’t mock me.”
But unlike Luxor, she’s very good at detecting mockery.
While thinking pointless thoughts, I waited for her anger to settle.
But the longer she stayed silent, the angrier she seemed to become.
I sighed, debating whether I should be mad at her comparing Getelin—the flour-dumpling idiot—to a legendary ancestor… or mad at the naïve descendant instead.
I chose the latter.
“I get that you spent too long being the weak one, and now you’re projecting your feelings onto Arman. But if what I did isn’t mercy, then what is it?”
“Violence.”
Now she’s starting to get on my nerves.
“I did give him a choice. The rest was his decision.”
“How can something done under threat be his own will?”
“It is his will.”
“That’s—”
“Oh, because he was scared? Fine. Maybe at first he accepted Getelin’s offer because he was terrified.”
I get that much.
“But after that? He never asked anyone for help.”
“And what difference would that make? None of us had any power.”
“You didn’t. But what about the Nefert Marquisate—Getelin’s political enemy? You think they had no power?”
“……That’s… you can’t know that. They might not have helped.”
“They never miss a tea party if it means getting dirt on someone. Of course they’d help.”
“…….”
“Fine. Let’s say he was too scared to approach them. Maybe he didn’t know who to trust.”
If the only nobles he met were Getelin-types, I’d be scared to ask for help too.
“But if he really hesitated to kill someone, he should’ve at least pretended to hesitate when I told him to bring the tea again.”
Spilling tea on the floor wasn’t something he’d normally do.
Others probably thought I was just being dramatic, but Arman was alert—he must’ve sensed that I saw through the poisoning attempt.
He was trembling, aware his actions were wrong.
Yet the time between the first and second serving of tea wasn’t much different.
“Or he could have agreed to bring new tea and simply brought a clean cup.”
I gave him multiple chances. Kinesia saw that.
But he still chose to kill a child princess.
“He didn’t even try to find a way out. Of course not—it was easier and faster to just follow Getelin’s orders.”
“…….”
“And even after I spared him? He ran straight to Count Getelin to report back. And that’s still all because of ‘threats’?”
“You said that was your intention.”
“Yes. But if he had acted against my expectations, he wouldn’t have been a pawn—he would’ve become mine.”
“……So you didn’t intend to use him from the start?”
I shrugged lightly.
Sure, I would’ve used him against Getelin. But I would’ve asked for his consent. Respected his will.
If I planned to keep him long-term, I wouldn’t put him at risk or manipulate him.
…That’s not the case anymore, of course.
Despite all the explanation, she still looked uneasy.
She glanced briefly at the servants cleaning nearby, then walked toward a quieter hallway.
“How can someone think rationally when they’re terrified? That’s not giving him a choice. That’s pushing a cornered person off a cliff.”
“If he wants to stay by my side, he should endure at least that much.”
“Not everyone is mentally strong. When someone weak comes along, are you going to blame everything on them and use them recklessly like this?”
“If necessary.”
The spark of anger reignited in Kinesia.
She gritted her teeth.
“You’re the same as Prince Paradon and Count Getelin.”
“I’m different. They earned people’s hatred.”
Her expression said How is that any different?
“Fear that is built on hatred creates rebellion. You have to constantly remind them, constantly suppress them—that’s Paradon and Getelin’s way.”
“…….”
“But mix fear with admiration, and it becomes reverence. There’s nothing more fitting for a ruler.”
“So you are saying to rule through fear.”
“That is part of it. But fear alone isn’t enough. It must come with mercy.”
Kinesia stopped walking.
With her back to me, she ran both hands through her hair, visibly torn. Accepting a completely different worldview clearly pained her.
As always, I waited.
Eventually, she turned back.
“I felt this last time too.”
“Say it.”
“You and I… we’re walking different paths.”
“I built the Epiphanes Kingdom into an empire.”
“I know. But your way isn’t right.”
“Right and wrong are subjective.”
I stepped closer.
“But my way works.”
Kinesia didn’t move.
She understood my logic, but hated it. Why?
Isn’t her goal to strengthen this country?
Is it stubborn pride born from having once been powerless? Or something else?
Either way, we laid everything bare. Neither of us intended to budge.
There was no point continuing—only repetition.
“If you truly can’t accept my way, then so be it. We can’t walk the same path.”
“…….”
I walked past her, heading toward the palace.
She didn’t stop me.
How ungrateful. After all I did, running around making things move. The attitude was annoying.
Still, I intended to show her the same mercy I gave Arman.
Changing one’s entire worldview isn’t easy. Escaping the past isn’t either.
To become something new, you must destroy what you were.
That’s why people don’t change.
With playful Logrié gone, Kinesia gone with her endless demands for explanations, and irritating Arman gone too, the surroundings were quiet.
Finally, peace.
Yawning lazily, I checked the dagger hidden under my pillow and lay down.
Staring at the ceiling in silence made me restless.
“Without all the noise, it really is kind of boring…”
The moment I finished speaking, someone knocked.
Who now? Still half-alert, I kept a hand under the pillow and called out:
“Come in.”
To my mild surprise, the ones who entered were Luxor and Ottilie.
“Ria. Can we talk with you for a bit?”
Their voices were gentle, but their faces were deeply troubled.
