Chapter 19 ….
Lies.
There was no way Cha I-do would just let them die.
I couldn’t let go of that thread-thin hope, the desperate desire to believe in Cha I-do to the end.
“…Then what do I have to do…? What can I do for you to spare them? They’re still alive, right? Please, tell me they are. Just their voices… even just their voices….”
My words broke apart, and tears spilled down my chin.
I missed my family. I wanted to see them come home alive—just once. That was why I couldn’t scream at Cha I-do blindly.
“Don’t cry.”
He lowered his hand, wiping my tears the way a loving husband might.
“I don’t do things that don’t profit me, but look at me—putting up with everything because of you. I cut back on overtime, broke off my engagement. Didn’t see any women because I thought you’d get upset. I even got rid of every male bodyguard and employee. Because you’re scared of men.”
His gentle voice sent chills through me.
After a certain point, the men in suits disappeared from the house. It was creepy seeing Cha I-do move around followed by Secretary Ahn and a group of servant girls, but mentally, I felt safer.
“Should I bring the men back, then?”
But that was only the minimum courtesy. Had he ever truly thought of me as family? As a wife?
In this house, I was beneath even the servants who did the dirty work. A spectacle, a trophy—best case, a replacement for the first love who was already dead.
“I don’t get jealous. You can slobber over whoever you want, get re-engaged, date other women. Be like your father—drag a new woman in every day. I won’t be upset. I understand. So just tell me where my dad and Sejin are….”
“That’s not it, Sehee.”
Cha I-do’s brow creased.
“You need to learn how to conduct yourself.”
“……”
“Want me to teach you?”
I’d only ever focused on studying. I didn’t know how to please someone like Cha I-do.
“If you want your family alive, this is what you should say.”
His arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me tight, stealing my breath.
“You’re right, Mr. Cha. Just imagining it makes me so jealous I could lose my mind. So please… only cherish me.”
“……”
“Even if you think I’m disgusting inside, you say sweet things and act like a temptress. You don’t kneel to just anyone and beg for your life.”
I was trying so hard to match him, to avoid upsetting him. But Cha I-do didn’t seem pleased at all.
“I can’t… I’m not….”
Instinctively, I turned my head. When his breath shifted to my right, I turned left. I struggled backward, but it was useless.
“…Hh—”
His persistent lips finally caught mine. The heat of him stung like fire, and tears threatened again.
Then something flashed in my mind.
Father wasn’t dead. If Cha I-do kept giving vague, suggestive answers, it meant there was still hope.
“…Huh.”
A man who ran here for me would surely have saved my father. I couldn’t give up that tiny hope.
If I did well… maybe he’d give me something in return.
Realizing this, I froze.
Cha I-do slowed down, as if saying: Show me.
I tightened my grip on his jacket, stood on tiptoe, and crushed my lips against his. Clumsily lifting my tongue, I scraped gently along that cold flesh.
Compensation. Yes—Cha I-do understood compensation.
He was a man who kept promises.
A faint laugh slipped from him. He slowly opened his lips and accepted my kiss. His scent—the heavy, masculine one I could never fight—flooded my senses.
I stepped back until my spine hit the door. His solid muscles pressed through my palms.
“Haa…”
A shuddering breath left me. Every time I fell into Cha I-do’s arms, the first thing I felt was relief.
In the end, it was always Cha I-do. The only place I could cling for the last strand of hope was him.
“My dad… Sejin… just tell me if they’re okay…”
“Don’t look for someone else when you’re with me. Do I have to teach you every little thing?”
Even sensing danger, being in his arms brought a strange sense of safety.
“Focus. How merciful I feel depends on how you act.”
The door opened, and we stepped into a room with colder air. After a long kiss, I found myself pushed back onto a white bed.
Straddling him awkwardly, I swallowed a choked moan.
My loose knit dress rode up. Cha I-do pulled me close, lips pressing to my neck, sucking my skin like he was drinking ripe fruit.
Every nerve followed him. Even as shame burned me, strange sounds escaped my lips.
“I used to think dying in bed was the worst death, but now I’m reconsidering. It’d be a waste to let some old man die feeling this good.”
“…Hh…”
His warm hand moved across the place that made me tremble.
“If you say no, I’ll stop. Promise. I’ll quit right away.”
I bit my lip, fighting the gasping breaths.
I liked it. So much I didn’t want him to stop.
Cha I-do was good at sex. Maybe this was how married couples always were.
The surge toward climax, the way every cell woke up, the lazy heaviness after it ended—
I wanted more.
Even forgetting what kind of person he was. I wanted him to fill the empty place inside me.
“…Were you this gentle with her too?”
“……”
“Your… your first love. Cha I-do’s first love…”
At the unfitting words, he gave a breathy laugh.
“Yeah. Exactly.”
“……”
“Try clinging to me with that face that looks just like hers. Maybe I’ll give you everything.”
“……”
“Smile pretty. Speak sweetly.”
His fingers gently brushed my lips.
“That’s how it’ll feel real.”
I forced strength into my eyes as they filled with heat.
Feeling loved was an illusion. This was just a transaction.
“Ah—!”
A sharp, overwhelming sensation surged through me.
His strong arm locked around my waist.
The deep thrusts made my vision blur. Like a massive tree was driving into me, rooting itself.
My hands clutched his back, desperate. When I reached the edge, I shook my head, giving him the reaction he wanted.
Cha… Mr. Cha… Director… I called him everything.
I wrapped my arms around him, begging him to hold me tighter. I wanted to drown in his scent so no one could ever treat me carelessly again.
“Someone’s outside…”
A faint voice came from beyond the door.
“It’s fine. Keep going.”
He draped his shirt over my exposed back and pulled me closer. When I leaned into him, the sensation went even deeper.
“Come out, Cha I-do! I know you’re in there!”
The knocking was loud enough to break the door.
“Hh—”
I held my breath. His scent filled my lungs, clogging my thoughts.
“I have something to say! I said I have something to say!”
But Cha I-do acted like he heard nothing.
“Every time your hips move, it feels so good I could die. But I also feel disgusted. What emotion is that? Learned? Born with it?”
“I don’t know…”
“Beg. What did I tell you to say?”
Struggling to remember, conscious of the screaming outside, I spoke whatever came first.
“Jealous… I’m jealous. So… only with me…”
“You only want to be with me?”
“Yeah… y-yes…”
I had to cling to him. Before Song Nayeon could say something useless, I needed to buy time. Use the first-love face. Make him mine—
“I can’t stand this anymore, so choose—!”
Suddenly, the door swung open, cold air rushing into the room.
“……”
I went stiff. I couldn’t even turn my head.
Heat burned up to my scalp. But the figure standing in the doorway was silent.
“…Wh… what…”
My heart pounded violently. And still, Cha I-do kept moving inside me.
“You… the two of you… what… the hell—”
“If you’ve seen enough, get out.”
Cha I-do tightened his arm around my back, exhaling a lazy breath.
Ah.
The sound scratching up his throat was lewd beyond words. The moment stretched painfully long.
“You… how… how could you… to me…”
Her voice shook, cracking into sobs, and then the door slammed shut.
Silence filled the room.
“…Ha.”
I collapsed onto Cha I-do’s shoulder. Every emotion twisted in a whirlwind.
But the one thing I felt most clearly—
Relief.
Cha I-do chose me again.
Again… he chose me.
