Chapter 48
Pawned Life
‘Just a little.’
‘Hm?’
‘Could you wait a little longer for me?’
‘…How long?’
Howard gently cupped her face, which looked on the verge of tears.
Feeling his warmth, Irina closed her eyes.
Instead of answering, Howard placed a very brief kiss on her round forehead.
‘Don’t be too late, okay?’
Irina seemed satisfied with just that again.
She stepped back, giving him space — because she knew very well that this was the best he could offer right now.
‘Yes.’
Howard once again steeled his heart.
He knew how much Irina had leaned on him after losing her birth mother, Adriel, to illness years ago.
Not long after, war broke out.
Irina, having learned the truth late, was furious.
Howard comforted her and set off for war.
Howard was sure he would not die.
His confidence led the war to victory.
He was awarded a title of minor nobility as reward.
But then—
‘A lowborn wretch, how dare you!’
Their secret love was discovered by Count Cosat, who had secretly followed Irina.
He had caught them meeting at the house Howard received as part of his reward.
Only a few hours had passed since Howard returned from war.
Irina was locked in her room from that day.
Calling Howard an ungrateful beast, Cosat tried to fabricate charges to throw him in prison.
Unable to bear it any longer, Irina secretly escaped and begged Howard to take her away with him.
She was a noble lady who had never once dirtied her shoes with dust or mud.
And she was ready to abandon everything for him.
But sadly, their escape failed.
Believing his noble pride had been tarnished, Count Cosat committed an unspeakably cruel act.
It was like they were being hunted.
Howard ran with all his strength while protecting Irina, but alone he could not fend them off.
Flames from torches burned bright behind them.
Whoosh—!
Arrows filled with killing intent flew toward them.
There were too many to avoid them all.
Both of them were gravely wounded and hid in the forest.
Howard was lucky to avoid a fatal wound—
but Irina was in critical condition.
She had turned suddenly, taking the arrow that had been heading straight for Howard.
He hadn’t even reached a hospital before Irina began struggling to breathe.
‘Howard, leave me. If you stay, you’ll die too.’
‘Don’t speak. Just hold on. I’m going to get help. Soon, soon.’
‘Howard.’
With blood-soaked hands, she held his face, forcing him to look at her.
Even covered in blood, sweat, and tears, she still shone in Howard’s eyes.
‘You must not die. Live. Promise me.’
‘…You won’t die either. I’ll save you.’
‘Ha… ward… we both… know… don’t we…’
And like that, Irina died before she ever had the chance to fully bloom.
Without Irina, Howard was nothing but an empty shell.
‘Please don’t die. Live.’
Her final words kept him from dying even if he wanted to.
Then came another blow.
A man with the same hair color as Howard came looking for him, saying he was his father — the head of House Lingester.
His relative, Marquis Decant, had hidden Howard away.
They said they had thought he died at birth.
The head of Lingester begged Howard to return as his heir.
Howard refused.
Why now? Why only now?!
If this chance had come sooner, he could have saved Irina.
He could have made her happier.
She wouldn’t have had to wait.
Soon after, another war erupted in Arendor.
The neighboring Lingester Grand Duchy had grown powerful — enough to rival a kingdom.
The Arendor king, seeking to curb them and steal border resources, started war.
Howard plunged into every battlefield to erase his emptiness.
He roamed like a war demon.
Yet he did not die.
He killed countless people — dozens, maybe hundreds.
His hands and sword were soaked in blood that never seemed to wash away.
And then Kishie appeared before him.
‘The stench of blood led me here.’
Whether it was Howard’s desperate desire, Kishie’s whim, or something else —
Kishie offered him one chance in exchange for his life.
Howard wanted only one thing:
For Irina not to die.
If only time could turn back — he would save her no matter what.
And when Howard opened his eyes again, he was right before that bitter winter, before he first went to meet her.
Having been given a second chance, Howard spent nearly every day sleepless.
He had to change everything — on his own.
First, their meeting had to happen.
Otherwise she might never look his way.
This time, he chose to return instead of staying by her side.
He gave up becoming her knight.
He focused on finding the head of House Lingester.
After many hardships, he succeeded in meeting him —
but because of Decant’s interference, he became only an adopted son rather than confirmed heir.
He couldn’t obtain the highest-grade magical stone required for bloodline verification, and Decant matched the head of Lingester in influence.
He tried to save Adriel, Irina’s mother, but could not prevent her illness.
Still, he kept Irina’s promises.
Their private Christmas.
Her first debutante ball.
He wasn’t always on time, but he tried to fulfill every memory he held.
It wasn’t easy.
And the price for turning back time was heavy.
Irina was originally doomed to die shortly after reaching adulthood.
She had already died once.
Every time he fulfilled a promise, danger struck —
a carriage accident, a falling chandelier.
Howard also began creating the life she dreamed of —
a home where only the two of them could be.
He put great care into building the villa she had wanted.
He would do anything for her, as long as time allowed.
But a greater problem arose.
While Howard was preparing to bring Irina to safety, Count Cosat caused trouble again.
In the previous life, he ruined his house after killing his own child —
in this life, he ruined it through gambling.
Meanwhile Irina, unaware of the past, seemed to have built up quite a grudge toward Howard for appearing only occasionally.
Then Irina acted recklessly on her own.
So Howard had to move before bringing her formally under his care.
He hurried.
My troublesome young lady.
And yet, my beloved young lady.
When Howard heard she had arrived safely, he could finally breathe.
Even after killing so many on the battlefield, he had never been shaken like this.
Howard dressed himself in a manner befitting her and went to meet her.
‘It has been a while, Lady Irina.’
And so, Howard once again stood before her.
