~CHAPTER 15~
“Wait, wait a moment.”
Woo-hee spoke to Moyong-heun, whose face was twisted with raw emotion and tears, spilling every feeling he had.
“So, you’re saying that the reason you’re not worthy of eating meat is because someone died in your place to save you, and yet you survived?”
Roughly summarized, that was the gist—but coming out of his mouth, it sounded strangely different.
Moyong-heun simply nodded.
Technically, she couldn’t say he was wrong.
“Did you… ask them to survive, telling them that if push came to shove, they should die instead of you?”
“……Eh?”
“I mean, the ones who died to save you. Were you thinking, ‘I don’t care what happens to their lives, but you must survive no matter what. Protect me first, and let them die if they must?”
Moyong-heun shook his head vigorously, his face pale with shock.
“Then what the hell is it?”
Woo-hee frowned and let out her irritation.
“You didn’t tell them to die, right? They just did as they wished and ended up dead. Are you hiding something from me? Is that why you’re spouting nonsense I can’t make sense of?”
Again, Moyong-heun shook his head.
Much slower than before, but it was true: he hadn’t intentionally hidden anything.
Aside from omitting his own name, he had said everything necessary to explain his current feelings.
“Alright, so if I understand correctly, what they wanted by sacrificing themselves was for you to survive?”
Moyong-heun flinched at her words.
Those who had thrown themselves into the bloodbath to give him a chance to escape, who had taken blows while being chased by assassins—they had not acted for his sake.
It had been to save the last living blood of the Moyong family line.
Yet the boy kept his lips sealed about the sect’s names, biting his own lip carefully.
He had enough discernment to know what could be said.
“The ones who died… they already achieved what they wished for, even at the cost of their own lives. Because you survived. Now, if there really is some afterlife beyond this world, wouldn’t it make sense that they would want you, the one saved by their sacrifice, to eat well and live well?”
Moyong-heun opened his mouth to argue, but could only bow his head.
They wouldn’t wish for him to live comfortably.
Perhaps they might want to restore his father’s honour or repay the debts to his uncle, but not for him to selfishly survive in cowardice.
He had survived alone, in this shameful, cowardly way, and could not expect the burden he should bear to be lifted.
All he could feel were the overwhelming emotions: guilt, indebtedness, resentment, sorrow, pain, anger, injustice, futility, loss, and the one that drove him deepest—his own horrid selfishness.
And then, the fleeting joy and relief of realizing he had survived.
He had no right to feel any of it.
Could he ever fully explain it to another?
He didn’t know.
It was an impossible demand for him.
“Listen, the dead are gone. That can’t be changed. But you’re alive, and you still get to choose what to do next. You still have freedom of choice.”
Woo-hee continued, paying no mind to Moyong-heun, who sat with his head bowed.
“You could live like a wild animal, thinking you have no right to life and die miserably, insulting the lives of those who died for you… Or, for their sake, you could do your best to live and eat and grow strong. Either way, you have a choice.”
Thud.
Woo-hee tapped the ground with a bone, as if to make him look her way.
“I happen to have accomplished one of my lifelong goals, so I’m feeling pretty good. That’s why I’m giving you a choice. Choose wisely, because either way, the one you don’t pick is the trap, got it?”
Moyong-heun lifted his head and saw a pale face with raised eyebrows and a crooked smile.
It wasn’t exactly kind or warm—more like mischievous and cruel.
And yet…
Moyong-heun, raised properly within the clan as a typical late-stage orthodox disciple, emotionally immature and naive, was not so foolish as to fail to distinguish right from wrong.
“I….”
Tears streamed again.
“I… I was thinking wrongly.”
Embarrassed and humiliated, he wiped his face repeatedly with his tattered sleeves, both hands scrubbing at his eyes without pause.
“Instead of leaving me to fall into a foolish path, the grace that guided me through admonishment and teaching—there’s no way I can repay it…”
No, words alone weren’t enough.
Frantically, Moyong-heun stumbled forward, knelt before his benefactor, and pressed his forehead to the ground in a deep kowtow, until his head nearly touched the earth.
“Thank you, my benefactor. Truly, thank you.”
Once, twice, thrice…
He bowed countless times before the one who could be considered divine in the capital, voice choked, conveying nothing but sincere gratitude.
“When you’re done bowing, eat.”
After waiting as long as Moyong-heun wanted, Woo-hee finally said the words that flew to him as he got up.
Eat.
She handed him one of the few remaining pieces of meat, and he accepted it obediently, submissively.
A scruffy, ragged, messy figure, literally like a beggar, sat neatly on the dirt, eating meat.
It was a quiet, peaceful meal.
Woo-hee reflected that manipulating people in the sect was not as simple as she had imagined. She had thought she could just pick someone up, shower them with kindness, and have them indebted to her for life.
Trying it herself, she realized that showing kindness wasn’t that simple.
People didn’t automatically repay favours for a lifetime just because you saved and fed them. That realization left her somewhat dissatisfied.
“Benefactor…”
Then, Moyong-heun, now quietly focused on eating like a tamed bear, spoke cautiously.
“Won’t you ask me anything?”
It seemed he had the energy to start a normal thought process.
“Do you have something you want to say right now?”
“Ah, no. Not really…”
“Then just eat for now. The fire’s out, the meat will get cold, the fat will harden, and the taste will go bad.”
Practical advice, reminiscent of someone from the Northern Sea region.
If the hot food wasn’t eaten quickly, it would cool immediately. On unlucky days, frozen meat could be disastrous.
“Yeah, and if you don’t eat properly now, you’ll regret it. No one knows when the next meal will come.”
Woo-hee herself had fasted six days after a ridiculous martial arts contest with Young-ho.
If such a tragedy happened again, she couldn’t even guess when the next meal would be.
Moyong-heun shivered involuntarily, then obediently nodded and increased his eating speed.
By the time the wild boar had been completely devoured down to its bones,
Woo-hee suddenly remembered something and spoke to Moyong-heun.
“Oh, right. Those sect guys who tried to kill you? You don’t have to worry about them anymore.”
The boy’s face turned pitch black.
Back when Moyong-jeok and Moyong-cheong had died, he had swung his sword wildly, almost possessed, consciousness fading, all senses cut off, teetering at the brink of death. He hadn’t even noticed how many assassins were left.
He had been lost in his own petty emotions, forgetting the remaining pursuers. How could he have been so completely oblivious? He shouldn’t still be calmly eating meat now.
He had to erase their traces quickly, so that if they pursued again, he would be the sole target.
A single mistake could drag even his benefactors into the bloodline of the Moyong family, committing an ungrateful act.
“I’ve taken care of them all.”
“…Eh?”
