Episode 43
Phoebe was so absorbed, as if she were being sucked into the thick book, that she answered my question a beat late.
“No.”
“…Is that so?”
Only then did she push the book away, get up, and approach me.
“Are you feeling upset because His Highness your brother doesn’t seem to pay attention even though you’re unwell? My, oh my, our His Highness has become such a baby lately.”
“Wha, what nonsense…!”
What kind of absurd things is she saying now?!
‘It’s because I’m worried he might go on a rampage when no one’s watching!’
While I was inwardly fuming and making excuses, my morning preparations began. Phoebe dipped a towel into the golden basin that glittered brightly, and white steam rose from it in wisps.
“His Highness the Crown Prince mentioned he would visit this morning to check on you. And perhaps we should send a request to visit His Highness Rurik separately.”
Anyway, I needed to confirm if Rurik was okay. Suppressing a strange sense of unfairness, I replied.
“Thank you, Phoebe.”
“Did you sleep well, Ru?”
Ernst arrived shortly after.
He had been visiting me almost every morning for the past few days, but like today’s sun being different from yesterday’s, he was always newly handsome.
I found myself staring, captivated by the pair of mesmerizing golden eyes beneath his wavy, soft blond hair, before finally responding with a smile.
“Erni…”
The smile of the top candidate for the father of my prettiest child seemed to be as effective as the magical anti-morning sickness medicine.
But before I could say anything more, Phoebe cut in.
“Oh my, don’t even mention it, Your Highness. She started experiencing tinnitus this morning. It seems she’s determined to experience every single symptom of pregnancy there is.”
Tell me about it.
‘I wish you’d take it easy, you body of mine!’
Of course, complaints like that sometimes sprouted, but I hadn’t forgotten my previous life, where I just lay in a hospital ward waiting to die.
So, I spoke to the maid.
“Don’t say that, Phoebe. It’s all for the sake of meeting our beautiful baby.”
“…Oh my! To think Your Highness would say that!”
Phoebe was so moved she covered her mouth, which made me feel a little embarrassed.
Ernst also held my hand with a touched expression.
“I won’t forget your sacrifice.”
When his affectionate lips touched the back of my hand, I naturally thought,
‘Well, of course you shouldn’t, since you’re the baby’s father.’
Flavi is the largest and wealthiest, yet a fully subordinate vassal state, of the Brentanni Empire.
Therefore, Ernst, the Crown Prince of Flavi, had to participate in all imperial events as actively as the Imperial Chancellor.
‘Thanks to that, he could visit me often and also gauge the mood of the imperial nobles.’
But he lowered his voice anew and said.
“But Ru, the movements of Her Majesty the Empress or His Highness the Crown Prince are a bit… concerning.”
“You mean the talk of war from before? Are those people serious about it?”
I instinctively sharpened my tone and retorted. Ernst, looking amused, gently pinched my cheek.
“It seems we might be able to buy some time, if His Highness the Second Prince agrees.”
I finally grasped what Ernst was implying and widened my eyes.
Was he suggesting that I handle the pregnancy and birth while Rurik is away at war?
“Erni!”
Ernst’s golden eyes shone so innocently that I thought I had misunderstood him.
But he didn’t deny it.
“That’s not what you want, is it? I’m not saying it’s my intention, I’m asking for your opinion. As always.”
“I, I don’t want my brother to go to war again.”
How could he present me with such a choice?
As the male lead I created, and as my older brother in this world, Rurik is precious to me.
I caught my breath and answered.
“And I hate it even more if it’s because of me. If it’s because of me, because of me…”
I’d rather close my eyes and ask Callisteon.
To propose to me right now.
‘Then the imperial family would achieve their goal of making the Babenbergs in-laws, so they’d probably stop scheming to drive out my brother.’
It’s not like I dislike Callisteon, and he’s clearly a decent marriage prospect.
It would be awkward if we actually got married and a baby with blond hair or purple eyes was born, but Callisteon probably wouldn’t kill me over something like that.
‘Things might get a bit complicated then, but…’
It’s definitely better than Rurik risking his life by going to the battlefield.
‘Even if he luckily survives the war again, the demonic sword will eventually devour him.’
And the clever Ernst understood my intention without me having to say it.
“I understand what you mean, Ru. I’ll be more alert to the nobles’ movements. I’ll make sure to notice immediately if Her Majesty the Empress or His Highness the Crown Prince sets a trap.”
Finally feeling relieved, I grabbed Ernst’s hand.
His long fingers intertwined with mine as if they had been waiting.
“Please, Erni.”
He promised in a honeyed voice.
“I am your eyes and ears. Please rest assured, Your Highness.”
After Ernst left, the afternoon passed.
I was still waiting for Rurik, but there was no word from him.
Phoebe, watching my expression, said.
“His Highness the Crown Prince left some new tea leaves earlier, right? How about using that as a pretext to invite His Highness Rurik?”
But he knows I’m sick (or so he thinks)!
‘Does he need a formal invitation to come see me?’
It seemed I had adapted a bit too quickly to this brother-obsessed older brother of mine.
Suppressing the growing sense of unfairness I could no longer deny, I picked up a pen.
Brother, if you aren’t busy, would you like to try some new tea leaves with me?
However, no word came back from Rurik until evening.
Phoebe said with an awkward face.
“He must still be at the banquet. His Highness Rurik must be busy too, it seems I unnecessarily suggested the invitation…”
But isn’t it strange that there isn’t even a reply?
Now, beyond simple disappointment, I was growing suspicious.
‘Is something really wrong? Don’t tell me he’s getting angry and about to go on a rampage because I collapsed again…’*
The knock I had been waiting for finally came just as my anxiety was peaking.
—Knock knock.
Phoebe sprang up.
“It seems His Highness the Prince is here! I’ll go prepare the tea!”
Fortunately, Phoebe’s prediction was correct.
But I was startled when I saw my brother’s face as he entered the room.
One of his pupils was pitch black.
“Bro…ther?”
Rurik met my gaze, then blinked slowly as if he had discovered an unexpected person.
“Cough, cough!”
I coughed deliberately loudly to get his attention.
“Cough, cough! Cough!”
It took a while, but Rurik eventually came over and patted my back.
The moment he touched me, the black shadow that had filled his red eye seemed to lose its adhesion, floating and swirling within the pupil.
I was so afraid that I asked in a small voice.
“Why are you angry again, Brother?”
“What?”
Rurik asked back fiercely.
He was patting my back out of habit, but it didn’t seem like he had come because he was worried about me.
Tears welled up in my eyes without me realizing.
“Are you… Cough! Are you disappointed because I keep getting sick? Because I didn’t listen to you and went to the banquet hall?”
‘I want to see blood.’
Surprisingly, until just a moment ago, Rurik had been thinking that.
‘I want to hold a sword.’
He wanted to hear the dull sound of impact when swinging a sword.
He wanted to see bloodstains scattering like mist under the red sunset.
He wanted to hear the neighing of horses in pain, the screams of the insignificant enemy soldiers.
‘I want to be stained with blood.’
He wanted to behead the enemy general and take his helmet, to trample over the fallen enemy horses.
He hated the imperial capital with its frequent banquets on trivial pretexts.
‘I want to gallop across wide fields, climb mountains, cross rivers.’
But then, a familiar voice asked.
“Why are you angry again, Brother?”
Had he heard that before?
“Are you disappointed because I keep getting sick?”
Only then did Rurik notice his sister.
Her clothes were a mess, likely because he had rubbed her back too roughly.
“…Ru.”
He clearly wanted to cherish her.
That child, with tears welling in her eyes, asked again.
“Why are you angry, Brother? Is it true you got rid of all the things from the battlefield?”
