Chapter 35
“Life as Collateral
“I’m soaked!”
Irina gasped as she shouted.
She had run so frantically that her breath was caught in her throat.
Even though she had run as fast as she could while holding his hand, her dress had gotten completely drenched along the way.
The hair that Casey had so beautifully arranged had already come undone, half-loosened and clinging wetly to her cheeks.
“Ah! It feels nice and cool.”
Irina laughed out loud and looked at Howard.
Despite being soaked from head to toe, she stretched her hand out to catch more of the rain.
Howard sighed as though he couldn’t do anything about her.
He turned her toward him and gently tidied her disheveled hair.
“You’re such a tomboy.”
“But it’s fun! Though I think Casey’s going to scold me a lot later.”
“You’ll catch a cold before that happens.”
“It’s not cold, I’ll be fine.”
“I don’t think so. If you start coughing, we’re going straight home.”
Howard quickly took off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders.
Irina laughed despite his scolding.
His own clothes were drenched as well, but his jacket was enough to keep her wet dress from getting colder.
“There goes the satisfaction of buying new shoes.”
“If you had gone straight to the carriage, they’d still be fine.”
“Then we’d have gone straight to the villa. We’re leaving tomorrow, remember?”
“We could delay it by a day.”
“Yeah, but we’re already under some nameless inn now. It’s too late to turn back, isn’t it? What a disaster!”
Her playful reply made Howard chuckle faintly.
“We can’t really move right now.”
The fierce downpour trapped them where they stood, as if locking them inside a cage of rain.
It was a torrential storm.
Irina watched the thick sheets of rain, then glanced at Howard as he shook water from his hair.
If we hadn’t made up yesterday, could we be like this today?
What will happen between us from now on?
Was he always looking at me like that? Or is it something that’s changed just now?
A hundred questions flickered through her mind.
“Good heavens!”
Suddenly, a man burst out of the inn’s back door.
“It’s pouring out here!”
His movements were so abrupt that Howard quickly pulled Irina into his arms and stepped back.
The man slammed the door shut and ran off into the distance. The rain was so heavy that he vanished quickly into the curtain of water.
“That scared me,” Irina murmured, still in his arms.
Then, as she laughed and turned her head, she froze.
She hadn’t even realized she was in his arms—hadn’t realized how close they were.
When she came to her senses, she found herself pressed against him—too close.
“Um, I—”
Howard said nothing. He just looked at her.
He didn’t let go, nor did he speak.
Irina swallowed hard.
Since when has he been looking at me like this?
Soaked in rain.
Their raised body heat was too vivid, too raw.
She didn’t know why, but a ticklish feeling started from the tips of her toes.
Howard leaned in a little closer.
Slightly—
His lips brushed her forehead, softly, briefly.
“H-Howard…”
First, being held like this had startled her. Then, the kiss—now he still wasn’t letting go.
Those gray eyes.
That faint beauty mark beside them. The straight nose, the gentle red lips.
He had once been her first love.
And the wall she had built between them—stubborn and cold—was slowly melting away.
Irina slowly closed her eyes.
Howard’s face drew even closer.
Soft, warm lips.
She once thought a first kiss had to happen somewhere beautiful and special.
But maybe what really mattered was who you shared that precious moment with.
Howard pulled her closer by the waist, holding her firmly against him.
Irina let herself melt into his embrace.
Sssshhhhh—
The rain still poured down.
“……”
“……”
The way his eyes looked at her—filled with so much yearning—made her too afraid to speak.
A deafening crack of thunder boomed.
Even the crashing rain that had numbed her ears suddenly felt distant.
As though everything else were far away, hidden behind fog.
That feeling lingered for a long time.
Their noses almost touched.
Their eyes, though slightly apart, trapped each other completely.
No one asked permission. No one gave it.
Irina closed her eyes, and their lips met again.
This time deeper, hotter, closer—more desperately.
For a long, long moment.
Until Irina, breathless, finally pushed against his chest.
“Y-you… who did you do this with? How are you so good at it?”
Her voice was thick with jealousy.
Howard found her so adorable that he couldn’t help but laugh.
He liked when she stammered “you, you” at him—it made her seem closer, more familiar. But right now, it was like striking a match.
“Hmm. How would you know?”
There had only ever been one person.
Those words made Irina’s face flush crimson from her cheeks down to her neck.
Anyone could see the change in her color.
His gaze felt as if it could swallow her whole.
His voice, lower and rougher than usual.
His breath, too close.
The warmth of that kiss still lingered vividly on her lips.
Her heart was pounding wildly.
All of it—every bit of it—was making her feel this way.
“I-I can’t… breathe.” Irina panted.
“Mm.”
“I said, I can’t breathe!”
It wasn’t that the air was gone—it was just that he was too close for her to breathe properly.
“Mm.”
Howard’s short reply could barely be called an answer.
“So—so move a little! Howard, please—huh?”
Her voice trembled impatiently.
If he’d just step back, if just a little air returned, maybe she’d be okay.
She wasn’t underwater, and yet it felt like she’d forgotten how to breathe.
Howard just laughed quietly and didn’t move away.
Instead, he wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and gently caressed it.
“It’s okay.”
Breathe however you want.
Then Irina exhaled.
Her long eyelashes fluttered.
As his gentle hand continued to stroke her, her breathing gradually steadied.
“Better?” he asked.
“…Yeah. I think so.”
Though she was still flushed with heat.
The faint trace of tears near her eyes also began to fade.
Once Irina had fully calmed, Howard straightened his posture.
She immediately glanced around nervously.
“Wh-what if someone saw us?”
“There’s no one.”
“Y-yeah, but still—”
It wasn’t the front entrance but the back door—far enough from the main street that no one passed by.
And with the rain pouring, unless someone was deliberately looking, they’d never notice.
“You’re right, no one’s here.”
She let out a sigh of relief.
The air that had been hot between them cooled, little by little. By the time it turned chilly again, the rain had stopped.
“The rain’s let up.”
“Yeah… we should probably go, right?”
“We need to get you warmed up first.”
Rather than immediately calling for their escort, Howard led Irina into the inn.
The innkeeper was startled to see them both drenched and rushed to bring towels.
“Oh my, you’re completely soaked! The rain’s really bad out there, isn’t it? That’s the trouble with seaside weather—it’s sunny one minute and pouring the next!”
Wearing an apron with her sleeves rolled up, the innkeeper asked if they needed a room.
“I just finished cleaning upstairs. There’s a large room open—shall I give you that one? You both look like fine guests.”
The innkeeper’s eyes darted between Irina and Howard.
Now that the chill was setting in, Irina began to shiver.
“Yes. Please give us that room. Do you also have dry clothes?”
Howard handed over a gold coin, and the innkeeper’s face lit up.
“Oh, of course! I’ll send up new clothes and some hot soup right away. Miranda! Show the guests upstairs!”
“It’s not ideal, but better than getting sick.”
Howard’s voice carried a hint of concern as they climbed the stairs.
Even if the villa offered the finest luxury, this was just a modest inn.
Though, truth be told, it was the largest and cleanest one in the area.
“It’s fine. The rain stopped—we’ll leave soon anyway.”
The maid quickly brought fresh clothes for both of them: a white linen long dress and a simple shirt and trousers.
Then she swiftly filled a wooden tub with hot water.
Howard asked for another place to wash and change, so Irina could bathe comfortably in private.
Without Casey, and with only minimal help from the maid, Irina sank into the warm bath with a sigh.
Or to be more honest—she finally felt like she could breathe properly again.
Her heart had been pounding so hard the whole time Howard was near that pretending to be calm had been exhausting.
“I thought I was going to die.”
No one had choked her, and yet her throat had felt tight.
Her heart had thudded like it would burst, her toes had curled up with tingling heat.
Where his hand had brushed her back, it felt like fire ants had crawled.
Irina curled herself up in the steaming water, gently wrapping her arms around her body.
It was so warm.
She touched her lips—the ones that had met his twice—and then suddenly dunked her face into the water.
Blub-blub-blub!
Bubbles rose to the surface with a faint popping sound.
