#73. Secrets and Lies
“It’s not like I could’ve slept…”
Nikolai muttered under his breath, barely audible.
“You seemed to fall asleep faster than I did, though.”
“You really know nothing about men.”
“Excuse me? I’m Elisabeth Amster, remember? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Do you not recall?”
He looked at me with faint bluish shadows under his eyes. I tilted my head, puzzled.
“Did I… have bad sleeping habits?”
“They were terrible. You kept burrowing into my arms all night.”
“W-What?!”
“And groping my chest nonstop…”
“I-I touched Your Majesty’s… chest?”
Wait, that wasn’t a dream?
I thought it was—that soft, firm feeling I was fiddling with in my sleep!
My face flushed scarlet as I lowered my head. Nikolai rubbed his neck as if his shoulders were still stiff.
Without saying more, he stepped outside.
There wasn’t a single knight in sight. No carriage, either.
Only a pale-faced young servant holding the reins of a black horse.
“I sent the knights back. No need to advertise that the emperor’s away from the palace.”
“What about the carriage?”
“A horse is much faster.”
“But I can’t ride a horse! And there’s only one horse!”
I glared at his stallion, full of complaint.
The sleek black horse was larger and far more elegant than any I’d ever seen. Even its calm dark eyes seemed to be mocking me.
“You’ll ride with me. His name is Blackwing.”
“So, is it a hobby of yours to ride with women?”
I knew I sounded childish, but I couldn’t help it. The memory of him bringing that new empress was still too fresh.
Without replying, Nikolai took the reins from the servant.
“If we hurry, we’ll arrive before dinner.”
“I’ll just hire a carriage.”
“I was hoping to show you the charm of horseback riding.”
“I doubt it’s more comfortable than a top-class eight-horse carriage.”
I lifted my chin proudly.
There was no longer any need to worry about pursuit.
I could rent the most expensive, newest carriage if I wanted—money wasn’t an issue.
“Then I suppose I’ll have to discard this saddle.”
Nikolai clicked his tongue in mock regret.
That’s when I noticed the saddle on Blackwing’s back.
It was a two-seater, made of glossy, high-quality leather, even equipped with a small back cushion for the front rider.
My eyes widened—I’d never seen anything like it before.
“There are two-seater saddles?”
“I had this one custom-made for you.”
His tone was casual, but his eyes shone with quiet pride.
“I even designed it myself. Explaining it to the craftsman was a real challenge.”
“For me?”
“Who else would it be for?”
“Not for the empresses you bring along, perhaps?”
Nikolai’s brow furrowed sharply.
He grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward the saddle.
Startled, I followed his gesture as he pointed at the golden embroidery on the cushion’s back.
It read:
Elisabeth Amster
Thump. Thump. Thump.
A vivid, breathtaking warmth filled my chest.
It bloomed like a flower in full spring.
Since possessing Elisabeth’s body, I’d had countless jewels and luxury gifts—but never had my heart trembled like this.
“Do you remember the day we dined at Burgerkin?”
“With Sir Owen and Douglas, yes.”
Nikolai shrugged, as though he’d rather forget about those “intruders.”
“So you were telling the truth about going shopping that day?”
“I wanted to ride somewhere with you. Anywhere.”
His voice sank deep into my chest—
a glimmering thrill brighter than diamonds.
“When I heard you’d been kidnapped… I can’t count how many times I regretted everything.”
“It wasn’t Your Majesty’s fault.”
“If I couldn’t protect you, then it is my fault.”
“But you came to save me in the end.”
“I was gravely injured. My flesh was torn.”
It was barely a scratch, really.
A few applications of Susan’s special ointment, and not even a mark remained.
But in Nikolai’s memory, that minor wound had become a grave injury.
His desire to protect me…
the saddle embroidered with my name…
his feelings had never felt clearer.
“If I had lost you, I could never have forgiven myself.”
“…”
“I invited you to the training grounds because I wanted to show you my riding skills.”
“The training grounds?”
“Things got tangled when those vermin guests showed up first.”
He ground his teeth audibly.
‘Right, that was when Marquis Brendan and the others came to insult me. So that’s why he invited me—to show me his horsemanship…’
This man… is too cute.
It felt like receiving a completely unexpected gift.
I’d never even seen his vaunted riding skills—Brendan’s mess had ruined everything.
Still…
“Would you ride with me, Elisabeth?”
Nikolai extended his hand.
And for once, I wanted to take it.
Sometimes, that was okay.
No—right now, I really wanted to.
Even after Douglas returned with the knights, Susan couldn’t relax.
Her seizures had stopped, and she’d gotten used to her job as an apothecary, but a part of her heart was always uneasy.
Her usual confidant was, as always, Franz.
“Do you think Lady Elisabeth is all right? What if His Majesty gets angry and locks her in the Ice Tower?”
“If His Majesty were truly enraged, he’d have executed Marquis Nettleton first.”
“E-Executed?!”
Susan’s face turned pale.
Startled, Franz waved his hands quickly.
“Oh, sorry—slip of the tongue. That won’t happen. But even if it did, I’d stop it.”
“Your Highness would?”
“Of course. For you—no, I mean, for the literature professor—I’d do anything.”
Franz hastily corrected himself.
Oblivious to the young prince’s fluster, Susan smiled brightly.
“That’s such a relief. You’re truly kind, Your Highness.”
“I get that a lot.”
Franz scratched his honey-blond hair, blushing faintly.
‘His Highness is so adorable. His cheeks look so soft and plump… I want to touch them—no, what am I thinking?!’
Susan shook off her thoughts and changed the subject.
“My brother said His Majesty and Lady Elisabeth probably won’t return anytime soon.”
“I see…”
“Lady Elisabeth’s practically a fugitive now. Isn’t there anything we can do to help?”
“We?”
“Yes—Your Highness and me.”
Susan pointed alternately at him and herself with a sweet smile.
Then suddenly, her face flushed pink.
“I-I’m sorry! I was being too presumptuous toward the Crown Prince—the little sky of our Empire!”
“You don’t have to be so formal. I… I…”
Franz couldn’t finish his sentence.
His face was just as red as hers.
A tender, awkward silence filled the drawing room.
Trying to break it, Franz sprang from his chair.
“Let’s go see Kares. He might know something.”
The Thirteenth Temple lay in the southwest region of the Empire.
It was said to be the oldest of all imperial temples.
Thanks to that, it was never without pilgrims and worshippers.
Even the narrow country road leading there was well maintained.
Was it the comfort of the saddle?
Or the fact that I was half-leaning into Nikolai’s chest?
Despite being astride such a tall horse, I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all.
Even Nikolai, sitting behind me, seemed perfectly at ease.
I was completely enveloped in him—my back pressed against his chest.
Was this what they called… a back hug?
When I looked up, I could see the straight line of his nose above me.
I couldn’t tell whose heartbeat was faster—mine or the horse’s.
Every gallop made my hips ache a little, but the closer we got to the destination, the more reluctant I felt for the ride to end.
And questions began to build.
‘Why hasn’t Nikolai asked why I’m going to the temple? Douglas didn’t, either.’
Douglas, I could understand.
But Nikolai? There’s no way he wouldn’t be curious.
“How did you even know I was at that inn?”
“I caught your scent.”
“My… scent?”
“The unique fragrance that comes from you.”
Was that… a metaphor?
Or did he mean I smelled because I hadn’t bathed?
Perhaps sensing my confusion, Nikolai explained:
“Thanks to Cardinal Arkansas, I knew you’d head for the temple.”
“The youngest cardinal—the one who researches the Flower of the Dead?”
“You know of him?”
When I was searching for the second relic, I had read through every theological text in the imperial library—
and gathered every bit of information about famous priests.
Of course, I couldn’t tell him that.
“He’s famous, isn’t he? The only priest said to receive divine oracles. Did Cardinal Arkansas mention me?”
“He wanted to meet you.”
“Me? Why?”
“To deliver a prophecy.”
The word prophecy made my heart skip.
But it was too soon to be shocked.
“He wouldn’t tell me what it was. Said I wasn’t qualified to hear it.”
“Then why… me?”
“Because you possess the relic of the goddess Morasincia.”
“!”
I nearly slipped from the saddle.
My heart lurched. My hands trembled as they gripped the handle.
Not from fear of falling—but from the lie I’d been caught in.
“So he realized Finch was poisoned through the relic?”
“How did you know that?”
“I thought something was strange from the moment you claimed to be a medium. But I didn’t bother to press it.”
“If you thought it was strange, why didn’t you confront me? What if I had been the real culprit who poisoned you?”
Nikolai let out a quiet, low laugh.
“So you think you’re a rather skilled liar, do you?”
“Am I not?”
“If you lied, I’d see it instantly. You’re terrible at it.”
His trust made me both happy and pouty at once.
“Well, I have secrets too, you know.”
“Secrets and lies are entirely different things.”
“How so?”
“A lie is when you deceive someone for your own gain.
A secret is when you stay silent because of circumstances beyond your control—
or because you fear you won’t be understood.”
“…Do you have secrets too, Your Majesty?”
