IDMLG 25

Chapter 25

At the unexpected, careful touch, I froze, startled.

“When you embraced us like this yesterday… truthfully, I wanted to do this then, too.”
“Me too.”

The boy murmured first, as if confessing in a whisper, and the girl followed after him.
It wasn’t anything grand—just innocent words from children, spoken without any deeper meaning.
But those few words touched me far more deeply than a simple “thank you” ever could.

I felt a certainty deep inside—that even if my actions ruined the world of the original story, even if they someday ruined my own future, saving these children was something I would never regret.

I didn’t really feel sad, but strangely, my eyes grew hot.
I buried my face gently against the children’s small shoulders.

Even if what I’d done wasn’t the “right” choice, I was glad that at least I hadn’t made one I’d be ashamed of.
I was… truly grateful that, for once, I could dare to be someone’s savior.

By the time I left the duke’s mansion, my eyes were so swollen I looked like a pufferfish ready to explode.
When I caught my reflection in a windowpane, the sight was almost comical.

I could barely lift my head as I followed the master of the house out of the mansion—not because of my ridiculous, tear-streaked face, but because I was embarrassed I’d cried at all.

Even the much smaller, younger children had held themselves together so well, while I, a full-grown adult, had been sniffling like an idiot.

Rixion Luhanes had offered me a handkerchief along the way, and though I was thankful, that somehow made the embarrassment worse.
Still, I took the expensive-looking handkerchief and just wiped my nose with it. Oh well.

“I’m Rowin.”
“I’m Lin.”

That was the only real conversation we had. I’d wanted to talk with them longer, but every time I looked at them, tears threatened again.
So I made a vague promise to “come again someday” and practically ran out of the room.

‘So I was this weak of a person, huh.’

Back in my original world, I’d been famous for crying first at every campfire or retreat ceremony.
Still, I thought I’d toughened up since coming here, that all my experiences had built me into someone stronger.
Apparently not.

I wondered what Rixion Luhanes must be thinking as he watched this ridiculous woman—hugging children one moment, then bawling her eyes out the next.

I was curious… but I didn’t want to know.

‘He probably thinks I’m insane, anyway.’

So I stubbornly kept my eyes on the ground as I walked, silently praying that he wouldn’t say another word until we parted ways.

‘Crying sure makes me hungry.’

I trudged down the long corridor, thinking I should hurry back to the Marquis’s estate and fill my stomach.

That’s when a shadow suddenly fell over me.
I looked up—and there stood Rixion Luhanes, blocking my path.

When I met his dark, shadowed eyes, I instinctively took a step back.

“There’s just one thing I’d like to ask.”

The heavy tone made me tense a little.
Another question? Now?

“Another question?”

I frowned, responding with clear irritation.

“Why did you do it, even though you knew?”

His eyes were completely serious—no trace of his usual smirk.
Ignoring my annoyance, he continued, his words missing a subject but full of meaning.

I tilted my head, not understanding, so he repeated:

“You knew from the beginning that those children were infected. So how could you approach them without hesitation?”

My first thought was that he was asking this way too late.
Why now, of all times? Not when we shared a carriage to the temple, not even right after it happened—but now?

I was confused, but my mind started working fast.

He was asking how I could reach out so easily to children with a contagious disease, knowing the risk.

I already knew the answer. But saying it aloud was tricky.

Because I knew everything about the original story. I knew this world’s future.
I already knew who those children were, and what that disease was.
I knew it spread only through respiration—so as long as I covered my mouth and nose, it was safe.
And I knew that holy water could cure it.

I suddenly regretted acting all knowing earlier, when Rixion had treated me like some reckless fool charging in blindly.
My pride had made me act smug and mysterious instead of keeping quiet.

Especially since this was the same man who’d suddenly changed his attitude, talking about “wanting to be close” one day and taking it back the next.
If I said the wrong thing now, I’d only fuel his curiosity and attention even more.

I needed to answer carefully.
He was probably thinking about his own childhood—the pain of the uncontrollable magic that once rampaged in his small body, the isolation and disgust he’d suffered because of his monstrous appearance.

I bit my inner cheek, recalling the fragments of Rixion Luhanes’s past I’d read in the novel.

I had to give a smart answer.
Something that would discourage any further interest.
Something he’d hate to hear.

“Just because they looked pitiful.”

I said it plainly—the kind of answer Rixion Luhanes would find most distasteful.
Empty sympathy. Nothing more, nothing less.

As expected, his expression darkened.
His blue eyes turned cold, as if I’d insulted him personally.

I didn’t feel fear under that gaze—only guilt, as if I’d just kicked a child.
I couldn’t bear to meet his eyes any longer, so I slowly looked down.

And because of that, I didn’t see his expression shift once more in that fleeting moment.

“Even though you knew you could catch the disease and die yourself?”

Ah, damn it…

I felt his sharp gaze burn against my skin, and I cursed inwardly.

With a sigh full of irritation, I looked up at him again.
I knew—at moments like this, the only way through was to be shameless.

“Honestly, that stuff I said about knowing what kind of disease it was? That was a lie. I was bluffing. I just wanted to sound smart. At first, I didn’t even know it was contagious. You kept telling me not to go near them, so I did it out of spite—”

“You’re lying now, aren’t you.”

If this were a comic, there’d be a big ‘crack!’ sound effect over my forehead.

I sighed deeply, scowling.

“If you know, then just drop it, okay? Why are you interrogating me like this?”

The sarcasm slipped out naturally.

“And like I said before, you promised you wouldn’t interfere with me anymore. I appreciate your help, but I’d really prefer you keep that promise. And stop using the holy water thing to threaten me.”

Silence fell between us.
We just stared at each other.

Well—I glared, while he wore that blank, unreadable expression.

In that silence, I felt my lost sanity slowly crawling back.

Ugh, what was I even doing?
Even if he’d seemed a little more approachable lately, could I really keep mouthing off like this?

Still, I didn’t avert my eyes.
I felt like a deer charging toward a speeding carriage, but there was no stopping now.

Thankfully, no drawn sword or “do you have a death wish?” line followed.
Instead, a quiet sigh brushed my ears.

What? What did I do now? I didn’t even do anything wrong!

I glared, ready to bite back at whatever he said next.

“For today…”

His blue eyes, which had been flat and cold, softened slightly.
A faint smile appeared.

“Thank you for indulging my selfishness.”

At first glance, it looked like the same polite smile I’d seen yesterday and today.
But I’d seen that face enough times now to notice the subtle difference.
And I knew—this smile was fake.