chapter 32
After laughing for quite some time, Sobaksan caught his breath.
“Yeah. I can see how it might feel that way.”
“I’m serious.”
Some might say there’s no need to get picky about such things when you’re already engaged.
But this is what I thought: if we’re engaged, shouldn’t we be honest with each other?
“So, you’re saying you know you like me, but you don’t know why?”
“Yes.”
More precisely, I didn’t know the moment my feelings deepened, and Sobaksan admired that.
“How is my fiancée so clever? All the kids your age I meet during holidays are busy just asking for toys and sweets.”
“Humph. Don’t change the subject.”
“You’re even resolute.”
Seeing the conversation might get long, he gestured to a seat. I took a place at the round table by the circular window.
“Where should I start?”
Sitting across the small table, Sobaksan’s face was thoughtful. He chose his words carefully for a while, and just as a hawk cried outside the window, he began to speak.
“When we first met… do you remember when I lifted you up?”
“Yes. You said my feet were cold and massaged them.”
“Yeah. I was just worried at the time. Actually, if you had been as fragile as the rumors said, it could have been dangerous. Most kids scream the moment they’re held by me.”
I looked at him, puzzled. He gave a bitter smile.
“Listen.”
A low growl vibrated the air around Sobaksan.
I widened my eyes at the prickling sensation, and Sobaksan’s wry smile deepened.
“We, especially our voices, are threatening to other species even without trying.”
He explained it was a trait of the Hozok.
Even by just being still, their presence could oppress the surroundings, and their voices could stiffen anyone nearby.
Because of this, Hozok rarely got angry. Even slightly raised voices could cause someone to faint.
“If it ended with just fainting, that’d be lucky. In extreme cases…”
Sobaksan hesitated, then whispered so quietly it almost disappeared:
“The heart can actually stop from shock.”
Thus, smaller or weaker species avoided being near the Hozok. Even larger species, though less affected, were cautious.
I suddenly remembered the time Baeksan came. Back then, I didn’t understand why the adults surrounded him and were so wary, but now it made sense.
Just one roar could freeze someone in place. From a human’s perspective, there’s nothing more threatening.
“What if you cover your ears?”
“Our voices aren’t just heard through ears.”
I gasped at the thought that just being in range was enough to be affected.
“It’s worse for me.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m a hybrid of dragon and tiger.”
Dragon blood carries power. Even as a first-generation hybrid, Sobaksan inherited a strength greater than any Hozok.
But excessive strength can be a curse. His immense power was dangerous.
“No matter how careful I was, I couldn’t touch anyone but my father. If I called someone’s name loudly or touched them, they’d all be startled… That’s when I realized.”
Even as a child, he couldn’t comfortably speak to or touch anyone. He always had to observe from afar.
“When I approached, people got hurt.”
At eight years old, young Sobaksan made a decision.
“I’ll live alone for the rest of my life.”
To avoid hurting others, he willingly chose loneliness.
The resolve to live alone didn’t waver even after he learned to suppress some of his power with magic.
Even if he could block his voice magically, he couldn’t control the oppressive presence around him.
Anyone he touched was startled, and children often cried.
Around age ten, Sobaksan surrounded himself with a layer of wind to avoid accidentally touching others.
His long hair, tamed by magic, looked unusually calm in the windy environment, and Sobaksan became accustomed to isolation.
Then one day…
His father, who always rejected all marriage proposals, suddenly asked him to meet someone for a formal introduction.
It would be a broken engagement anyway, Sobaksan thought, and agreed, riding the wind.
The sky was beautiful, yet lonely.
Carried by the wind, he thought he might disappear far away himself. That’s when the strong gusts swept him to an unexpected spot.
“You were there.”
The child wandering the garden was tiny, and seemed ready to be blown away by the wind. As Sobaksan spoke to the child, he instinctively picked them up and was immediately terrified.
The child was too light, and their feet were cold.
“It was winter, wasn’t it?”
“Which makes it even more worrying.”
In his fluster, he wrapped the child in a scarf to warm their feet, then realized the risk. Those he touched often fainted.
“At first, I thought you were frozen with fear.”
But that wasn’t the case.
The child in his arms was perfectly fine.
“You were calm, very composed… and mature. I…”
Sobaksan paused.
I reached out and held his hand. My heart ached at the coldness of his fingertips.
Yet Sobaksan seemed encouraged by my touch, and in a trembling voice, he said:
“You showed me I didn’t have to be alone.”
He had intended to warm the child’s feet, but ended up warming his own hands instead, Sobaksan laughed.
“It was impossible not to like you.”
“….”
“Every time I turned away, I thought of you. Every time I turned back, I thought of you.”
Sobaksan confessed that he had grown a heart full of feelings all by himself.
It was a deeper and more emotional story than I expected. I couldn’t smile back at him and kept my lips tightly shut.
“Was that too complicated for a child?”
“You’re a child too, Sobaksan.”
Sobaksan was barely eleven—just upper elementary age in a past-life context.
It was astounding enough that this child had resolved to live alone, but to pour his heart out simply because someone stayed calmly in his arms?
“This…”
“This?”
You naive fool!
I couldn’t yell at him outright, so I patted my chest in frustration.
I was happy to have a cute tiger roll into my arms, but this process was problematic. Not a pushover either!
Wait… “Pushover” in Korean literally means “tiger mouth.” Yeah, he really is a pushover!
“You can’t live like that!”
“Uh, huh?”
How am I supposed to judge if he’s good or bad?
As I vented, Sobaksan blinked and then burst out laughing.
“No, aha, ahahaha!”
“Sobaksan!”
Even after my warning, his laughter didn’t stop. After laughing for a while, he bent over the table, clutching his stomach.
His cheek pressed against my tightly held hand.
“But…”
The boy resting his cheek on the back of my hand gave a dangerously charming smile.
“I knew you were a good child the first day we met.”
“They say you can know the depth of water, but not the human heart.”
“You even shared your food. Most kids wouldn’t do that.”
“Some do. It depends on the child.”
“Yeah, you’re different.”
Sobaksan’s voice melted into the air.
“You’re unlike anyone else, special. That’s why it was hard to take my eyes off you.”
“….”
“Hyeon-ah?”
I buried my face in the table, hiding my flushed cheeks.
Wow. My heart. My fiancée had just bombarded it, and I couldn’t lift my face.
Just as the cold surface of the table slightly cooled me…
“Won’t you show your face?”
Sobaksan teased, kneading my hand.
Grandmother’s mercy.
I felt my mind whirl at the ticklish, teasing smile of Sobaksan, who laughed as if no time had passed.
Time passed quickly while Sobaksan and I played around. Half the day was gone before I knew it.
I reluctantly got down from the chair.
“Wait a moment.”
Sobaksan lifted me up. I usually preferred walking myself, but I couldn’t ignore my fiancée’s damp, longing eyes.
“I already miss you. What should I do?”
“We’ll meet again. We’re engaged.”
“Of course. That’s a given.”
I agreed with his desire to see and talk more often.
“Wait. I’m still young and can’t travel easily, but when I grow, I’ll come see you diligently.”
“Really?”
“Do you know how fast I can run?”
“I know. You wrote it in the letter. Your grandfather was a messenger, so you inherited that blood.”
I watched Sobaksan’s hair sway as we talked.
Like me, he had changed into comfortable clothes after the engagement ceremony, but his high ponytail remained the same.
“I’ll tie it up every day now.”
“Every day?”
“Yes.”
His long, smooth hair swayed like a tail I’d seen yesterday.
“I belong to you.”
“….”
Sobaksan had a bad habit of saying heart-striking things anytime, anywhere.
I sighed deeply and hugged his neck tightly.
“I belong to me.”
“Mm.”
“You need to take care of yourself. Don’t give me everything.”
“I’ll give you everything.”
“Then I’ll do my best to give it back.”
“I’ll add more to it.”
“I’ll return that too.”
Until the adults called us, saying it was time, we kept exchanging our hearts endlessly, over and over.
