Chapter 79
If that were the case, I could run over right now and tell him how grateful I am.
He came back as if nothing had happened and even greeted me at the door with a casual “sleep well” just now, but…
‘Only his foot got scratched? My hand got scratched too — why him of all people!’
Roje couldn’t stop thinking about Noah’s look; it kept coming back to her and she didn’t know what to do with herself. If only she hadn’t dashed into the woods recklessly and had handled things a bit more calmly.
“Hmm, you must be mistaken. You misunderstood.”
Roje, who had been clutching her head at the door for a long time, spoke in a firm voice. There was no reason to tell Jonathan and have him call it nonsense — she could sort it out herself.
“First, wash up and get some sleep.”
She convinced herself this was just because she was exhausted and hadn’t slept; after washing and getting some rest her reason would come back. Fortunately, because maids were on standby for guests at the villa, Roje could soak in hot water even at this late hour.
“Ah… I really feel alive again.”
As her body eased and some fatigue faded—
“You should be the one to be mistaken. Noah wouldn’t… ahem. That’s impossible.”
Those confusing, whirlwind feelings that had overcome her earlier now felt distant, like a dream. As the tension in her shoulders relaxed, the feelings that had tormented her faded too.
“By the way, what should we name the kitten?”
She idly considered kitten names when—
“Roje.”
Knock, knock. Noah’s voice came from outside the bathroom.
‘Is he going to come in thoughtlessly again?’
Knowing Noah would probably open the door and walk in, Roje couldn’t help but let out an awkward little laugh.
‘He always acts like this — what’s a woman to him? Someone to hold?’
But then—
“Roje?”
For some reason Noah only called her name once more from outside. It was strange; the servants were nearly asleep by now, so there was no one to worry about seeing them together.
“Ah, yeah? Yes! Your Majesty! I’m listening!”
“…Are you maybe hungry?”
When you think about it, Noah wasn’t one to worry about other people’s opinions.
“No, I had a lot at dinner earlier, so I’m fine.”
Then why—
Her heart, barely steadied, thumped loudly again. Was Noah…? Right as her thoughts tilted that way again—
“If you’re afraid to sleep alone, it’s okay to use the same bed.”
Noah said that.
‘Ah, of course.’
He was just worried about me.
There was no way Noah saw her as a woman. If he truly had, he wouldn’t have thought of lying down in the same bed with her after what happened earlier.
The reason he hesitated to open the door and was lingering out there now was—
‘He’s blaming himself again.’
Noah must be assuming Roje got lost in the woods because of him — feeling guilty like Melissa did for what she did to save him. Earlier, he had been fully focused on getting her out safely; once he felt she was safe, those feelings of guilt likely returned.
He rescued her without encountering any real danger and then felt sorry about that — if she let it slide, he’d keep worrying himself sick inside.
So Roje got out of the tub, hurried to dry off and put on a robe.
When she opened the door, just as expected, Noah’s face, pressed close to the door, looked downcast like a scolded child.
Roje opened the door intending to soothe him and felt certain of something.
‘Hah… he’s plagued by lewd thoughts all on his own…’
It had to have been her misunderstanding.
Roje’s head spun for a moment at Noah’s scent — the soap smell, as if he’d just come out of the bath. Damp hair, long eyelashes drooping — the moisture there made her heart tremble.
‘Ah, this kind of thing is too stimulating…’
Seeing Noah unable to meet her eyes because of the needless thoughts she was drawing made her feel guilty about how quickly her mind wandered.
Anyway—
“Do you have to be actually scared to sleep in the same bed as Noah?”
Roje asked, meeting Noah’s wavering eyes. She wanted to tell him there was no way she thought it was his fault — not even a little.
“You ask something I don’t even have to ask.”
Thankfully, Noah finally made eye contact with her to answer. When Roje saw the shadow lift from his face, she thought—
‘I can bear it a little while longer.’
Even if it meant pinching her thigh to endure, at least tonight she would stay by Noah’s side.
“I’ll dry my hair and come to your room.”
She gave Noah a bright smile.
With the help of the villa maids, Roje dried her hair.
‘I really will just lie down and sleep today! No touching, nothing!’
Having resolved not to touch Noah no matter what, she opened his bedroom door. Even after she’d settled to lie down beside him, Noah, who was propped against the headboard reading, didn’t take his eyes off his book.
“Is that interesting?”
“Quite.”
She couldn’t tell what it was about, but the title caught her eye — it seemed to be an adventure. She was surprised that Noah read books like that.
‘Well, Jonathan reads romance novels, so I guess it’s not that surprising.’
Thinking of Jonathan, nothing seemed shocking anymore. Both Noah and Jonathan always read whatever book lay to hand.
“What’s it about?”
Curious, Roje turned toward Noah and asked after lying down on her side.
“…Want me to read it to you?”
“Huh? Ah… yes!”
She had assumed he might summarize it if asked, but Noah surprisingly offered to read aloud. That brief “quite” had betrayed how much he liked the book.
“Darwin thought: we must cross that sea before sunset. Even if the wind blows, it’ll be fine. Riding the wind will carry us farther.”
Listening to Noah’s calm, gentle voice as she lay there, tension eased from her.
‘I want to hear more…’
Soon her eyelids grew heavy as lead.
Roje wanted to whisper to Noah that it would be okay if he felt guilty — that he didn’t have to shoulder guilt for what someone else had done. But instead, it was Roje who drifted off, lulled by Noah’s measured words.
It’s over.
Noah thought. It’s all over now.
His filthy heart had been exposed; he had been found out.
Roje who had been crying in his arms a moment ago now kept her distance and hesitated. He had been relieved that they had grown closer, and then suddenly she pulled away again. He had revealed the darkest parts of himself to her and frightened her—horrifying.
Because of it he felt as if he couldn’t breathe.
―Do you have to be actually scared to sleep in the same bed as Noah?
Roje smiled easily and closed the distance between them with long steps.
Did that make him happy?
“Please catch another bison tonight, Your Majesty! The servants loved it yesterday!”
Noah hadn’t slept well because he’d been watching Roje all night, but he’d rested enough to feel refreshed like Roje. When she asked him to catch another bison, he answered that he would gladly do so and found himself smiling.
But even that brief happiness wasn’t allowed to him. Melissa, already waiting in the garden, intercepted Noah and Roje’s path.
“Jonathan, put Roje on the horse first.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
Before Melissa could say anything else unpleasant, Noah sent Roje to Jonathan’s side.
Melissa glared at Roje in displeasure but, mindful of others, lowered her voice.
“I heard she even went looking for it herself and got lost.”
“Yes. Someone made Roje go into that dangerous forest alone.”
“What were you thinking, Your Majesty? What if she’d met a beast?”
Noah shot Melissa an even fiercer look than any predator in the forest on his right, and Melissa opened her mouth again. But Noah stopped her with his next words.
“I’m holding back because of Roje, Mother.”
“What did you just say…?”
“If Roje hadn’t told me to be polite to people she didn’t like… I’m restraining myself because she doesn’t seem to want to hold you accountable, Mother.”
“If you didn’t hold back? Do you mean you would do something to this mother of yours?”
Melissa spoke, head held high, convinced Noah would never do such a thing. She had expected a denial from Noah, but—
“If I couldn’t kill you, I would at least have exiled you.”
Noah didn’t give Melissa the answer she wanted.
“W-what… Noah… what are you saying…?”
“If something had happened to Roje there… I wouldn’t have stopped at just that.”
Melissa could hardly believe Noah’s words, and Noah drove the wedge in deeper.
“If by your will Roje had died, I might have killed you with my own hands.”
It was a warning meant to make sure Melissa never came near Roje again.
“Your Majesty! Please, begin! Go catch that bison!”
Roje, waving from over there, was urging him on. For a moment Noah truly thought that if Roje had vanished last night, he might have felt that way — and he momentarily believed it with all his heart.
