Chapter 134
“…What…?”
Ivi doubted her own ears for a moment. She had clearly heard what Cloys had said, but she couldn’t believe it.
He was asking if she would become his daughter.
“…What… do you mean… by that?”
It wasn’t that she didn’t understand the words.
But they were words so unbelievable that Ivi had to ask Cloys again.
Cloys looked at Ivi, who was dazed and staring blankly, and gave a wry smile.
He had been sitting here for quite some time, lost in thought.
He was trying to organize a worry that had not left his mind for the past few days.
Legal procedures were not a big problem. The representatives might object, but what of it?
He could handle such matters without difficulty.
The real problem was Ivi’s heart.
He had once asked Ivi what she wanted to do in the future.
It was after the gifted children’s visit to the royal palace, so he had expected her to mention some ambition.
“…Well…”
She had spoken in a small voice, as if sharing a slightly embarrassing secret.
“Actually… I want to work in the capital, earn money, and then find my mom and dad.”
Other children would have named a specific career first. But she wanted to earn money before anything else, which somehow made him feel a pang of sadness.
And she wanted to find her parents.
According to Seraphina, Ivi didn’t seem particularly hurt about being from the orphanage.
So Cloys had thought she probably didn’t dwell much on thoughts of her parents, yet here she was, saying that she wanted to do that first.
Hearing that, he felt a deep sense of guilt toward her.
No matter how smart or self-reliant a child was, it was natural to miss one’s parents. Why hadn’t he considered that?
And now, he was suggesting that he could take their place for her.
Ivi remained silent, unable to respond to his proposal.
Seeing this, Cloys hurriedly opened his mouth again.
“Of course, I won’t do it if you don’t want to. Refusing won’t make me stop being your guardian. And even if you accept, I won’t prevent you from finding your parents.”
This was what Cloys worried about most. That Ivi might feel pressured by his offer and be afraid to refuse.
Of course, even if she refused, he had no intention of forcing anything.
He only worried whether his own desires might burden the child.
“…Well, it’s just that…”
Ivi still looked bewildered and struggled to respond.
“I’m not asking for an answer right now. You’ll need time to think. So decide when your heart is ready, and then tell me.”
As he spoke, Cloys gently patted Ivi’s head.
“No matter what decision you make, it’s okay with me. This is an important matter, so only consider what you truly want. You must do as you wish. Never think of anyone else.”
With the kind gesture, Ivi lowered her head silently.
That night, Ivi stayed in her room alone, refusing even Irene’s invitation to go to the dining hall.
Worried that she might be unwell, Irene brought sandwiches and other snacks after a while.
But Ivi did not touch any of it, sitting still like a doll until late into the night.
“Would you become my daughter?”
Those words kept circling in Ivi’s mind.
When she heard them, she nearly burst into tears right there.
She had never met her parents in her life and had always had to imagine them while watching other children with theirs.
“What do mom and dad look like?”
Whenever such thoughts came, Ivi would stand before the mirror.
Golden hair. Green eyes.
That was her most certain feature. So whenever she walked by someone with blond hair or green eyes, she couldn’t help but turn her head.
But she never saw anyone who looked like her parents. Sometimes people would even get angry when she stared, which scared her.
“But His Majesty… I liked him from the start.”
There was nothing frightening about him. He felt familiar and comfortable, as if she had known him forever.
So when she learned he was to be her guardian, she was secretly thrilled.
On days they played together, she sometimes thought…
It would be wonderful if my father were like His Majesty.
If His Majesty could be my dad…
She knew it was an impossible thought. She knew it was shameless to even imagine it.
Yet every time the emperor treated her kindly, her longing grew.
Every time he held her hand, lifted her up to pick fruit from a tree, or explained difficult parts of a book in simpler terms…
Ivi felt her desires swell within her.
But she would never voice them.
If anyone found out her feelings…
She imagined the cold looks that would be directed at her.
A rural orphan daring to act boldly just because she knew the emperor a little.
And above all, if His Majesty found out…
“He might never look at me again.”
That was her greatest fear.
If he learned of her desires, he might stop seeing her. He might laugh at her audacity for imagining herself as his daughter…
Though she was used to being belittled by others, she could not bear it from the emperor.
So she resolved to keep her desires buried forever.
Even from Irene, Arcel, or Lusca.
This she could never tell.
Yet the emperor had asked her first if she would become his daughter.
“It feels like a dream…”
Ivi pressed her fingers against the corners of her mouth to stop a smile from breaking free.
She had seen how difficult it was for Arcel and Lusca to become imperial wards.
Even without a formal decision, the possibility alone meant that people were constantly vying for their attention.
Their every word and action was scrutinized, and meaning was imposed on them.
Though they didn’t outwardly show it to the public, around Ivi and Irene they could not hide their exasperation.
If two children raised in aristocratic society struggled so much, how much harder would it be for her as an orphan?
“Everyone will dislike it.”
People envied Arcel and Lusca yet could not hide their jealousy.
At least they could suppress these feelings because of the boys’ overwhelmingly superior backgrounds and abilities.
But what if the child was from an orphanage?
Words and looks would become blades, cutting and wounding constantly.
Malice would sharpen, and the wounds deepen. Yet…
If she accepted the emperor’s proposal…
If he became her father… Then she could call him…
“Dad…”
She muttered it without realizing.
Even the softest whisper startled her as if thunder had struck beside her, making her look around.
Though she was alone in her room, she worried if someone might have heard her.
Thump, thump!
Ivi placed her hand on her wildly beating heart.
“I shouldn’t call him that.”
She knew it better than anyone.
Yet why did her heart leap with joy? She wanted to say it again and again.
Then she remembered the small tomb she had seen with the emperor.
Ivvien.
A name she couldn’t stop looking at.
The emperor’s daughter, who had passed away long ago.
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”
Ivi murmured, recalling the small gravestone.
She felt guilty, thinking she might be taking someone else’s father. But…
“I’m so happy.”
Her joy overcame the guilt, leaving her giddy.
Ivi buried her face in her pillow.
“Dad.”
Her small voice vanished into the pillow.
Encouraged, she tried again.
“Dad…”
This time slightly louder, yet still muffled by the pillow.
Once she accepted the emperor’s proposal, she would be able to say it loudly.
“I’ll have… a dad.”
Her chest swelled in dizzying joy. Yet it didn’t feel bad.
If she had looked in the mirror, she probably would have had a strange expression.
Smiling while wanting to cry.
“Dad, Dad, Dad…”
Ivi continued practicing the word she had never spoken before.
‘When I meet His Majesty at the seasonal festival…’
I’ll tell him.
That I want to become his daughter.
Then I must call him…
Dad.
Overcome with emotion, Ivi hugged her pillow and stayed still for a long time.
A week later, the long-awaited seasonal festival finally began.
