#52. You Are Not the Elizabeth I Know
“There’s no need to apologize. I made the final decision.”
“Thank you.”
“No need to thank me either.”
Claudia spoke bluntly.
Though not overtly hostile, she made no effort to hide her animosity.
It wasn’t hard to read her true feelings from the icy sharpness of her expression.
‘I dislike you. I don’t even want to speak to you. But there’s nothing I can do.’
That was Claudia’s nature.
She liked what she liked and disliked what she disliked.
A simple, straightforward person.
She never wavered over choices but walked steadily toward her goal.
Free from the opinions of others, she neither cared about being hated nor criticized.
I was captivated by her.
I read and reread the book, completely drawn in by her character.
I never imagined that I would become the villainess of the novel, the target of my favorite character’s scorn.
‘Stop whining. If you want to hold on to this new life, if you want to protect those you care about, you need to stay calm more than ever.’
My delusion of becoming friends with my favorite was over.
All that remained was the resolve not to die by my favorite’s hand.
To do that, I first had to figure out what Claudia was thinking and why she had summoned me.
‘Is there anyone who knows Claudia better than I do? I can use the advantage of being the original story’s reader. If it were me, I could predict her actions!’
I recalled the original story in my mind.
Scenes and dialogue flowed like rewinding a video.
I remembered every line of Claudia’s monologue and every nuance of her psychology.
My trembling gradually subsided.
Not all fear disappeared, but at least I could meet her gaze.
Claudia’s eyes flickered with surprise at the subtle change in me.
It was brief, but noticeable.
“Douglas said you’re very different from before.”
“That’s an unnecessary comment. Claudia, you trust your own judgment over others’ evaluations.”
“Don’t pretend to know me.”
A faint crease appeared between Claudia’s smooth, ivory brows.
Fear gripped my heart again.
‘If I say the wrong thing, will I lose my head here?’
Reflexively, I checked Claudia’s waist.
Thankfully, there was no sword.
Only the palace guards were permitted to carry blades inside the palace.
Bravo, palace rules!
‘Claudia carries daggers on the inside of her wrists and ankles. But whether she has them or not, killing me would be easy.’
“Why did you summon me using Douglas’s name?”
“Why choose me as your duel proxy? It’s not some trivial dice game.”
“Isn’t it only natural to choose the strongest?”
“Don’t you know I dislike you?”
“I know. And there’s plenty of reason for it.”
A deeper wrinkle appeared between Claudia’s brows.
For a moment, I let go of my fear and admired my favorite’s beauty.
It might be my first and last chance.
‘Even her frown is beautiful. She’s like a grand prize I can’t enjoy. What a waste. I always wanted to be Claudia’s ally…’
Claudia was taller than I imagined.
Looking up at her, I guessed she was easily around 178 cm.
Her waist was slim without a trace of fat, her shoulders strong.
The white knight uniform suited her like a painting.
Wasn’t the word handsome-beautiful invented just for Claudia?
Wanting to see Claudia in the emperor’s uniform would be madness, right?
It was ridiculous to fantasize like this while facing potential death.
Yet it helped calm my nerves.
Warmth returned to my cold hands and feet.
I finally felt I could have a proper conversation.
“The last time we met, I raged, claiming I hated you without reason.”
“I insulted you while drunk. I am deeply ashamed. It’s late, but I apologize.”
“Shame and apology? That doesn’t suit you.”
“Perhaps not.”
“You know little about women’s adornments… but something is indeed different from before.”
Claudia, seeming surprised, paid attention to my outfit.
It was a simple dress made of fine fabric.
I preferred comfort but had to maintain some decorum as an instructor.
I chose minimally decorative, practical clothing.
The only jewelry was pearl studs close to my ears.
It was nothing like the original Elizabeth, who flaunted her wealth with dangling diamonds.
‘Even if I emphasize that I’ve changed, it’ll just provoke her. I can only show her who I am and let her judge.’
Claudia studied me for a moment, then paused and turned her head.
“Sorry for staring.”
“It’s fine. I don’t find it rude.”
“I’m not well-versed in social etiquette.”
“Neither am I.”
“True enough.”
Claudia let out a small, unintended laugh.
Perhaps embarrassed, she quickly returned to her stoic expression.
Even that captivated me.
“Even if you dislike me, there’s no need to worry. You won’t let me lose on purpose, I presume.”
“On what grounds are you so confident?”
“Claudia is a knight of honor, above all else.”
“……”
“A gladiator might fight according to personal gain, but a knight is different, isn’t she?”
Claudia didn’t answer.
She seemed to want me to continue speaking.
“The moment you accepted the duel with Sir Simon, your honor went onto the field with you. Along with your noble pride.”
“You’ll do your best for honor and pride?”
“And you’ll win, as always.”
I smiled, letting my eyes curve naturally.
Just smiling naturally in front of Claudia felt like an achievement.
Claudia spoke calmly.
“Sometimes, anger surpasses honor.”
“I agree.”
“My sword could be at your throat.”
Her blue eyes never wavered.
She emitted no hint of murderous intent.
Yet instinctively, my limbs tensed and trembled.
“Do you want to cut me?”
“Sometimes.”
“Because of Douglas?”
“Not at all.”
“May I ask why again?”
“Because you’re no use to anyone in this world.”
“Not everyone lives a useful life, though.”
“You’ve inflicted suffering on countless people. Now that you’re close to His Majesty, you’re even more dangerous. Your beauty could lead the empire to ruin.”
“So that’s why you came—to decide whether to kill or spare me.”
The Claudia I admired was just like in the original story.
Though capable of killing, she did not draw her sword recklessly.
Even against the villainess who trampled on her first love.
Meeting her, I understood clearly.
Claudia didn’t care whether I had changed.
She acted based on conviction, not emotion.
No matter how much I shed the villainess image or changed circumstances, if she still saw me as a societal evil, my future was death.
The moment for a gamble had come.
Contracts, games, bets—I could handle this.
“If your judgment is done, then go ahead and strike.”
I relaxed my body, letting my arms fall.
Claudia’s eyebrows rose.
“What are you doing?”
“Even if I struggled, I couldn’t beat you. I’d rather go peacefully than live in constant fear of death.”
“Is this… some kind of trap?”
“I have neither the thought, time, nor skill to set one. I doubt any trap would work against the strongest knight.”
“……”
“Please, take me without pain.”
I closed my eyes.
The anxiety clinging to me dissipated like mist under the rising sun.
A strangely warm aura enveloped me.
Claudia stepped close behind me.
A chilling touch at my nape—it was her sword.
‘I wanted to protect Nikolai. Cure Susan. Help Franz. Restore Owen. Give Boritz a chance. I wanted to live this new life…’
A burning regret struck my heart.
But I had done my best at every moment.
So I could accept any outcome.
Unlike my past life, where I surrendered to despair like handing over an oxygen mask.
All I could do was not waste the time I had been given.
‘This is no longer my responsibility. Those meant to die will die, those meant to live will live. Life is mostly hard, but sometimes luck comes. I might even smile, leaning on the warmth of kind people. No regrets.’
The shell of fear clinging to me cracked.
It began to split apart.
Fragments of regret, anxiety, and impatience fell away.
From within, my true self seemed to emerge.
“You’re not the Elizabeth I know. Where is the real Elizabeth?”
Claudia asked for the first time with lethal intent.
As if it were unbearable that the original Elizabeth had disappeared.
The day before the duel.
Simon was summoned to the palace chapel.
Giant marble statues lined the long corridor.
A woman, her face veiled, awaited him.
It had been a long time since they last met.
He expected a victorious kiss.
But all he received was a cold voice.
“When you begged to be mine, you were nothing but a man. Not much has changed, Simon.”
“What do you mean? I have only Your Majesty.”
“Why did you disobey my order to extract only the reward?”
“I-I…!”
“I told you not to fall for that woman’s scheme. I even explained how to persuade your gold-blinded father. Yet you insist on dueling?”
Under her piercing interrogation, Simon bowed deeply.
“I don’t know how it happened.”
“An utterly flimsy excuse.”
“I tried to cancel the wager, but Elizabeth….”
“You mean that woman worked some magic?”
“There’s no other explanation. I don’t understand why I did such a mad thing.”
Simon clenched his teeth.
The memory still confused him.
Everything felt blurred and unreal, like being trapped in an opaque glass jar.
“Explain in detail.”
“Elizabeth winked at me. After that, everything is hazy. I remember my actions, but it feels like I wasn’t myself…”
“Stop speaking nonsense.”
The woman waved her sleeve irritably.
Unable to hold his frustration, Simon pounded his chest.
“My father was going to expel me! If I lose, the position of heir will go to my younger brother!”
“Can you win? Your opponent is the unbeatable Claudia.”
“Nonsense. She’s just a weak woman praised because she knows how to wield a sword.”
“Is that so?”
“I will crush the border rabble and erase Elizabeth before His Majesty’s eyes.”
Simon vowed.
A smirk scattered beneath the woman’s veil.
“You say you’ll kill Elizabeth?”
“I’m watching for the right opportunity. I can’t follow the same path as those pathetic kidnappers.”
“I’ll help you.”
“Huh?”
The woman tossed a small leather pouch to Simon.
He carefully picked it up.
“What’s this?”
“A secret weapon. With this, you will never lose.”
“Your Majesty…”
“If you fear death, if your life is precious, destroy it secretly. The choice is yours.”
Simon versus Claudia.
In the grand arena used for jousts, the duel began.
Who would win?
The son of Marquis Brendan?
Elizabeth’s proxy?
Nobles and commoners alike were thrilled by the duel of the century.
Requests to watch the duel poured in.
Nikolai denied them.
The reason was both simple and complicated.
