Chapter 74
‘Titania’ had always been that way.
That affection-starved child, who instinctively realized she had no worth beyond her looks, had always been that way.
Even when she heard people say things like: The young duke of the Castrain family, despite having a fiancée, is pursued by the majority of the young ladies of society, and is the subject of admiration.
She never thought of turning her eyes to another man in order to make her own partner uncomfortable.
But now, it was different. If she wanted, she could sell off her royal pride as many times as needed.
She could beg in front of anyone.
Help me. Please help me with my task….
At most, all it meant was wearing plain clothes without adornment, and dirtying her arms and legs with dust and stains.
She almost opened her mouth to declare, It’s not like that anymore, but shut it again when she noticed the eyes around her.
Everyone was looking at them as if he were the knight who had rescued the princess in peril. The fiancé who had come to save his betrothed in danger.
The princess and the young duke.
As if they were witnessing a scene out of a beautiful fairy tale.
Only then did she hear people’s murmurs, as though their tension had been released.
“My goodness, that’s the famed….”
“The young duke of Castrain!”
“Such a perfect pair.”
It was what ‘Titania’ had once longed for more desperately than her own life.
Her strength drained away without her realizing.
I just stared blankly as Raymond, still holding me, gave orders and led people. Debbie, Barbara, and even Lysiantheus seemed to be speaking to me, lips moving, but I couldn’t make out the words.
No one dared to oppose the opinion of the young duke of Castrain, so everything was resolved in no time.
I tapped at the arm that was holding me, wanting to tell him to put me down, but instead his grip only tightened.
Once he seemed satisfied that the situation was under control, Raymond carried me straight into a carriage.
The inside was spacious and quiet. Like a mother bird laying her egg gently into its nest, he finally set me down from his arms. At the last moment, he even hesitated, reluctant to let go. And just as before, he wrapped his cloak tightly around me as if he could not yield that much.
I swallowed hard and forced my throat to work, though it felt raw, like swallowing grains of sand.
“…I thought you didn’t wear cloaks this often. You said they were bothersome.”
“Did I?”
“How did you come all the way down to this southern end? You were supposed to be in the capital.”
“I had matters requiring investigation nearby. And the High Priest Ilian needed an escort as well.”
“…Do you realize you practically destroyed my plan at a critical moment?”
At last, the smooth stream of Raymond’s answers halted.
“I heard that you were in danger.”
His voice was calm, yet my insides boiled at the words.
As if—when had I ever lived safely?!
“That’s why I had Sir Lysiantheus with me. You, Sir Raymond, are far too great and too valuable a man to waste on merely guarding me.”
“He is indeed strong, but….”
Raymond’s brow furrowed, as though recalling a bitter memory.
“…He’s not someone who can shoulder responsibility. Whatever Your Highness the Princess desires, it won’t be something simple. He is careless when it comes to looking at the full context. I worried danger might strike from unexpected angles.”
So, what—Lysiantheus is too simple-minded to understand political intrigue? I know that perfectly well! That’s why I went to Hecate’s Tavern only when he wasn’t around. He’s terrible at lying; I knew he’d give us away!
“Even so, with him, I could have managed.”
“I know.”
“…You know?”
Ha!
I let out a hollow laugh and threw off the cloak, revealing my soiled and crumpled clothes.
“Was I really such a pitiful sight you couldn’t bear to look at me? To the noble young duke of Castrain?”
Raymond flinched and avoided my gaze.
“No, that’s not it. Only…”
“I’ve been working so hard, you know. With everything I had. I racked my brains with others to come up with plans. And to you, all of that seemed…dangerous? Insignificant? So much so that you thought you had to come down here yourself?”
My original plan had been to properly stay with the Cortez family, with Flux’s help.
While residing there, I intended to make full use of Hecate’s Tavern to gather real evidence against those scheming in this city.
The temple was their base of operations—far too closed off, controlling nearly all the offerings and rites.
Staying there meant the chances of me ending up in danger were too high.
That’s why I set fire to the temple.
The fact that Lysiantheus happened to be away was convenient. If he had been there, people would have accused him of arson, no matter the lack of evidence. They’d have forced it onto him.
Neither Cronen nor Gregory were easy opponents.
Even when I nearly died and lost my sword, even though Gregory, my chief guard, had been absent at the most dangerous moment—they both brazenly pretended innocence.
Only when Flux pressed them publicly, with others watching, did Cronen and Gregory falter and stammer. And then Raymond appeared, and both immediately fell silent.
In that moment, I felt…hollow.
Completely drained.
“That wasn’t it.”
Raymond spoke urgently.
“All I wanted was to help you, in whatever way I could.”
“…”
“You… Your Highness, you treat yourself….”
He clenched his teeth.
“…As if you were nothing.”
“…”
“If you had so much, if you overflowed with choices and could easily pick one or another… And if one of those choices was me… I thought perhaps you’d cherish yourself a little more. I heard you really did set the temple aflame. Even if you made sure Lysiantheus wasn’t blamed and that no innocents were harmed, it was still dangerous. Why would you…?”
His voice sounded strangely desperate, too much so for me to understand why this man was showing such weakness.
“…Because it was efficient.”
A princess’s life had to be in danger, a princess’s sword had to be stolen, in order for me to even have grounds to appeal to anyone.
Unless I staked everything I had, unless I begged with all I was worth, nothing came to me easily.
Was it the same for him? For this man who so easily unsettled me without meaning to?
There are moments when realization strikes.
That it might have been better if I had never been born.
Better if I had never fallen in love.
There are lives, and ways of living, that make you think like that.
‘Titania’ was living proof of it.
I didn’t want to pour misplaced hatred and anger onto someone good. And yet, this world was filled with betrothals and marriages that were worse than strangers.
Strictly speaking, the Imperial Family was the enemy of House Castrain. Who would welcome a blade pointed at their family’s heart?
All the more so if that blade were me—rusted, dull, destined to wound others with my reckless actions.
So wouldn’t it be better if I could forget all personal feelings? If I could face him with indifference?
If only the story I knew were truly a beautiful romance.
If only this man could love wholly and perfectly, whether with Bibi or someone else.
Then my heart might be at ease.
If his heart were destined for another, I’d have no reason to waver, no reason to hope.
So why—why did this man keep shaking my heart?
“I never meant to disrupt your plans.”
Raymond carefully picked up the cloak I had discarded and wrapped it around my bare feet. For a moment, I was at a loss for words.
“I only want you to use me—as the useful steed that I am—so that you may….”
He pressed his lips lightly to the cloak covering my feet.
“…so that you may gain everything you desire.”
His voice was thick, clinging like mud.
* *
Raymond’s arrival had been like a storm.
When a storm is raging, one cannot take in their surroundings, only endure. It is only after it passes that you can finally look around.
And the moment he was gone, the quiet surroundings erupted into noise.
By then, Raymond and Titania’s carriage had already left the temple.
“That was really him, wasn’t it….”
“The young duke of Castrain, here of all places….”
“Can’t you tell? He came to save his fiancée.”
“Good heavens. But then, what happens now…?”
While the murmurs spread among the crowd, Cronen suddenly came to his senses. The instant he lifted his head, a chill of cold sweat trickled down the back of his neck.
