Chapter 50
‘They said it was this room….’
When I came down the stairs, it happened to be exercise time. While the prisoners were out on the lawn soaking up the sun, I secretly slipped back into the first-floor corridor to find Rihardt.
Rumor had it that he was too heartbroken to even go outside for exercise, locking himself in his cell all day. I carefully peered in through the bars and called him.
“Rihardt… are you in there?”
No reply. I tapped softly on the door. If not for the faint sense of someone’s presence, I would’ve thought it wasn’t his cell and passed by.
Pressing my face close between the bars, I finally saw him—lying there limply, one arm thrown over his forehead.
Was he pretending not to notice me? Or had he actually fallen asleep?
“Rihardt, it’s me.”
“……”
He stayed under the blanket without moving. He really did seem to be asleep. The thought of leaving without even seeing his face made me pout in regret.
They might allow moving around during exercise time, but wandering freely through the prison was definitely not permitted.
And by the time I’d found his cell, exercise time was nearly over anyway. Waiting for an answer from him would be pointless.
Just as I turned from the door, ready to leave and try again next time, a sunken voice stopped me.
“Why did you come here?”
I froze, then turned back. His voice came again.
“Why are you here?”
I hesitated, unsure whether he was scolding me or worrying.
“I thought… maybe you were misunderstanding….”
“What misunderstanding? I’m not mistaken about anything. I just understood your true feelings, that’s all.”
His cold, sharp tone cut through me. He was mistaken, clearly… and yet he denied it.
“I don’t want to hear any more excuses. Maybe you don’t care how I feel, but because of you, I—”
He faltered, lips moving but unable to finish the blame. His brow wrinkled in a pitiful, broken way that made my chest ache.
“If that’s all you came to say, then go. Honestly… seeing your face right now is too much.”
He turned his back on me, ready to end the conversation. Panic seized me, and I blurted out in a threatening tone:
“Are you sure you won’t see me again? If you tell me to leave, I won’t ever come back.”
I had no intention of waiting around for his anger to cool. Even if I had done something wrong, it should be my decision whether or not we saw each other again.
I was already a woman walking a double path between two men—too late to play the good, innocent lover.
“Would it not matter to you if I just went straight to Kyle?”
“……”
He clenched his jaw, unable to answer.
Even if he didn’t want to see me, I couldn’t just let him push me away. Anxiety gnawed at me.
“You really are selfish and cruel. Do you even realize you’ve made me feel things I’ve never felt in my whole life?”
Of course he knew. Who else would dare treat a knight known as the Crown Prince’s Sword this way? Most people would rage if their lover cheated, but if that lover brazenly admitted to walking a double path—wouldn’t it drive them insane?
Even to myself, I seemed like a terrible woman.
“I want you to feel exactly what I’m feeling right now.”
His words rang ominously. I bit my lip, wanting to comfort him but knowing I had no right.
If I pretended to love Kyle from now on, Rihardt would be hurt far worse than he was now. But to survive, I had to pretend. Not just for myself, but to ensure that Rihardt could survive too.
To do that, I had to betray the man I loved and become the woman of my enemy.
Of course I wasn’t at peace with it. My heart shook constantly, but I steeled myself again and again, vowing to use both men to the fullest.
Rihardt didn’t seem to realize any of this.
So I started acting again.
“Would you prefer if I only loved you? There is a way, you know.”
Suspicion flickered in his eyes as he looked at me, unsure what I meant. I pulled up the corner of my lips into a dangerous smile.
“You know what it is that I truly want.”
“Escape….”
He whispered it as if hypnotized, as if the word had been branded into his mind through endless repetition.
“If you become more useful to me than Kyle, then yes—you’ll be the one I choose.”
My voice dropped to a dark whisper. His sorrowful eyes wavered as though tempted by a devil’s whisper. Confusion clouded his face as he turned away.
I hadn’t fallen for him because he was useful. I had truly come to love him. But it was unreasonable to expect him to understand my circumstances.
I watched his silent expression carefully. Finally, he sighed and spoke in a bitter, subdued voice.
“I don’t understand you. I don’t know what your real feelings are. But if proving my worth is what you want… then I’ll prove it. Tell me what I have to do.”
“I’ll steal the key to the operation gate. All you need to do is open it instead of the guards.”
The following day passed in unbearable boredom—the dullest time since I’d first entered the prison.
Kyle wasn’t there to torment me, and Rihardt wasn’t in the underground cells either. I spent the entire day obsessing over how to steal the key.
Who would’ve thought I’d end up waiting anxiously for Kyle to return? By nightfall, I still had no idea whether he’d come back or not.
Frustrated, I even asked the underground guard, but he only answered gruffly.
“Why are you asking? What’s it to a prisoner whether the warden’s back or not? Just because he dotes on you, you think you’re his wife or something?”
Grinding my teeth, I turned away. How humiliating—that I couldn’t even go find him unless he called for me first. I burned with the desire to test the key on the operation gate.
“Fine! I won’t wait anymore.”
I muttered, throwing myself down on the wooden bed. Just as sleep began to blur my vision, footsteps approached.
I thought they would pass by—but they stopped right in front of my bars.
“Prisoner 14356, already asleep?”
I opened my eyes and looked up at the guard captain, puzzled. What was he doing here at this hour?
“Would you go see the warden?”
His face looked grim and uneasy.
Instead of answering, I quickly stood. The urgency in his tone left no room for hesitation.
As our footsteps overlapped unevenly up the stairs, I found myself slightly breathless by the time we reached the fourth floor. His pace was rushed, and my poor stamina struggled to keep up.
Though it was late at night, there were no guards patrolling the halls, no one stationed along the corridor. The silence was eerie.
Just before reaching Kyle’s chambers, the guard captain stopped.
“I can’t go any further. From here, you’ll have to go alone.”
“What on earth is going on?”
By now, he should’ve explained, but he only shook his head.
“Truthfully, it wasn’t the warden who called you. Every year, on this day, he refuses to see anyone—not even me. But I thought… maybe he’d allow you by his side.”
What nonsense was this? I didn’t understand a word, except that he’d dragged me into something without asking.
Should I just turn back? But then the image of Kyle’s face, glimpsed earlier in the mirror, floated in my mind—his eyes shadowed more deeply than usual, that faint trace of whiskey on his breath.
Had I been missing something all along?
“What exactly do you expect me to do?”
“He probably needs comfort. And… the bandage on his injured hand should be changed. Please.”
Seriously… I grumbled, but took the bandages he handed me.
Then, leaving his gloomy face behind, I carefully turned the doorknob.
The moment I slipped through the crack, the unlit chamber swallowed me whole.
As I moved deeper into the dark room, my eyes gradually adjusted.
Moonlight filtered through the wide sea-facing window, softened by translucent curtains. The dim light only deepened the room’s somber, oppressive atmosphere.
Kyle lay face-down on the bed.
