Chapter 31 …
If there were happy days, there were inevitably days that were not. As the uncertain future drew near, Hong-ah’s chest burned with anxiety. There wasn’t much time left, and yet nothing seemed to go her way, which made it all the more frustrating.
“Ah, come on. You need to throw it in a straighter line!”
“Is… that so?”
Hong-ah, with her triangular eyes, stood crookedly, watching the two of them.
It was the year her uncles turned ten and Hong-ah turned nine. In the royal family, preparations for marriage began at eleven.
Had it been wrong to create an opportunity for Isan and Suchun-gun to meet at just the right time? Hong-ah couldn’t even recall when Ikhyeon-gun and Isan had become such chummy companions, laughing together as they played tuho.
From behind, Suchun-gun tapped Hong-ah’s shoulder. Yes, this bear-like uncle was at fault. How many opportunities had he created for the two of them to be together!
Suppressing the rising anger was exhausting. Every time she saw their strange camaraderie, her irritation flared uncontrollably.
“I’m worried too, you know.”
Ikhyeon-gun might have sensed Hong-ah’s crooked thoughts, but the bear-like Suchun-gun, both in mind and size, couldn’t grasp her feelings at all.
No wonder such a good match slipped through their fingers. Unaware of Hong-ah’s simmering frustration, Suchun-gun stirred up even more agitation.
“Brother Gyeyang-gun marrying your family’s lady… Ikhyeon-gun won’t have it easy.”
That was why she had let her guard down.
Marrying within the royal family and forming overlapping family ties was common, but a prince sharing the same mother never married into a single household.
Since Gyeyang-gun had already become Han-hwak’s son-in-law, Ikhyeon-gun wasn’t even a candidate. He had only served as a means to allow Suchun-gun to mingle with Isan—but they had hit it off.
Hong-ah clenched her fists.
“Isan is pretty.”
“Mm, isn’t she?”
“Honestly, I wanted it to work out with uncle.”
Even with Hong-ah’s honest words, Suchun-gun showed little reaction. Annoyed, Hong-ah stomped on his foot. He didn’t even flinch, which infuriated her.
“Is uncle really a bear?”
“Do you think a man likes everything just because it’s pretty?”
A polite way of saying she wasn’t his type, completely disregarding her disappointment.
‘Is it because I tried to tie people’s fates as I pleased? Then shouldn’t I also avoid being involved with Ikhyeon-uncle for fairness?’
Isan had only recently revealed the subtle emotions between the two of them. To Hong-ah, it was as if the world had turned upside down.
“I actually see him often near our house.”
In truth, all of this was sparked by Hong-ah. She had never found a suitable match among the candidates Isan brought and was always curious about Han Chi-won’s actions.
Ikhyeon-gun often slipped out of the palace to wander near Sunhwa Bang Han-hwak’s residence. This had inadvertently progressed the relationship between the two.
She regretted using the excuse of Gyeyang-gun to allow Ikhyeon-gun freedom outside the palace, rather than facilitating a match with Isan. But it couldn’t be helped—this was all the result of Hong-ah’s actions.
“We started talking because we kept running into each other. I found it more enjoyable than I expected.”
Isan blushed as she spoke. Hong-ah could hardly believe that the person she referred to was Ikhyeon-gun.
“He’s not the kind of man you’d think has a lot to learn from.”
Hong-ah spoke sincerely, her words filled with friendship rather than strategy.
“I like someone I can have a good conversation with.”
But the next words from Isan drained Hong-ah’s motivation. The way these ten-year-olds acted as if they had met their destiny drained all of nine-year-old Hong-ah’s passion.
In the autumn of the Gyeongsin year, the charity hall became bustling.
The crown princess, who had never been ill since Sun-bin’s deposition, now had a lingering low fever. Physicians streamed into the charity hall one after another.
Hong-ah felt a chill at the news. She hadn’t wished for this, yet others had eagerly awaited the announcement, which came with a physician’s simple declaration:
“Congratulations. She has recovered!”
The news spread like wildfire.
Since cries of babies were rarely heard in the Eastern Palace, everyone had been concerned. Although new concubines continuously entered the palace, no recovery news had come. The crown prince had not seemed overly anxious.
He believed firmly in the legitimacy of his lineage and his youth, without worrying at all about the future.
Even Hong-ah, who knew that the heir would eventually be born, found her father’s blind faith unbearable. Such arrogance had previously thrown Danjong and Hong-yeon into the fire.
Not long after, news of Hong Seung-hwi’s recovery also came. The palace, anticipating the birth of two children, quickly became festive. Even five-year-old Hong-yeon leapt with excitement at the news of two younger siblings.
“The princess has recovered? And a child from the concubine? Truly a cause for celebration.”
Anpyeong Daegun, entering the palace for lessons, said,
“Please convey my congratulations to mama.”
“I hope the heir is born safely.”
Even Ikhyeon-gun and Suchun-gun, now accustomed to acting grown-up, said,
“It’d be nice if Hong-ah had a younger brother too. Boys and girls are definitely different!”
Isan, whose younger brother had been recently born, also offered her congratulations.
Amidst all the blessings, Hong-ah alone could not rejoice.
Everyone was blissfully unaware of her inner turmoil. Hong-ah did not outwardly express her frustration, so it was natural they did not know.
Yet there was someone who understood Hong-ah’s feelings.
“You seem to be sulking.”
Looking at the sleeping Hong-yeon, Hong-ah lifted her head at the affectionate voice.
It was her mother, making a newborn jacket while cradling Hong-yeon. Though her head was bent over the cloth, her voice was entirely directed at Hong-ah.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m not sulking.”
Hong-ah denied it.
“When did our little one grow up enough to even try deceiving her mother?”
Even as she spoke, her mother seemed delighted. Making the newborn jacket, holding sleeping Hong-yeon, sitting in the same room as Hong-ah—all these seemed to bring her joy.
“I’m not deceiving anyone.”
“Speak when you wish. I’m always ready to listen.”
Hong-ah’s burning heart ached even more at such gentle words.
She thought it would be easier if she could detach emotionally in advance.
Years spent living as mother and daughter could not be ignored; detaching was not easy.
The newborn jacket, carefully stitched from fine cloth, radiated her mother’s affection. She looked every bit a mother eagerly awaiting her child’s birth.
‘Unaware that giving birth to this child could cost her life.’
A child’s impatience was the problem.
Eventually, Hong-ah asked in a blunt voice,
“Mother, are you just happy that she has recovered?”
“Yes, of course I’m happy.”
Her mother looked up from the jacket at Hong-ah. Her once youthful face now carried a gentle warmth.
“The birth of the heir is the crown princess’s duty. If I fail in this important task, not only I but His Highness would lose face before our subjects.”
Her explanation, gentle and kind, only stirred more frustration in Hong-ah.
Until now, she had only dreamed of keeping Hong-wi alive and surviving herself.
But in this moment, none of that mattered. Danjong, whatever—it was all irrelevant.
Even if the heir’s birth failed and the throne naturally passed to Prince Suyang, even if she had to hand over the crown herself, she wished her mother could live long.
Emotion surged unexpectedly. Biting her lower lip to suppress it, Hong-ah asked,
“Mother, aren’t you afraid?”
“Of what?”
“That something could go wrong during childbirth or you could be seriously harmed.”
“When I bore our ruler, I suffered extreme morning sickness, fainted daily, and could barely eat. But both you and I survived safely, didn’t we? And when I gave birth to Hong-yeon, despite being early, I was perfectly healthy, and thankfully, Hong-yeon has grown well too.”
Her mother smiled, stroking Hong-yeon’s head.
“So surely this time will be no different.”
“But Mother, my younger brother was in danger before.”
Hesitant, Hong-ah confessed her thoughts—a thing she would never usually say. The story of the lost child had long been an unspoken rule of the Eastern Palace. Her mother’s eyes widened in surprise.
“You remember that?”
“Only vaguely.”
“He was only about a year old.”
Her mother murmured in astonishment.
“I heard you suffered greatly too.”
Hong-ah quickly spoke, fearing suspicion. Her mother’s composed expression slightly faltered.
Of course, her pain had been largely due to Sun-bin, but she could not deny the influence of the miscarriage.
The crown princess, still surprised, gently took Hong-yeon in her arms.
Moving the sleeping child onto the blanket, she carefully patted her belly to keep her from waking. Once Hong-yeon’s breathing settled, she spoke again.
“That was a different matter. Your pain was not because of the baby, so there’s no need to worry.”
Hong-ah’s heart burned at her mother’s comforting words.
Why did she have to know the outcome alone? Why must she suffer in secret?
As Hong-ah’s heart grew restless, the crown princess sat closely beside her daughter, holding her small hand.
“No matter what happens, I will be okay.”
“Excuse me?”
Hong-ah was speechless. ‘No matter what…’ How could she be so calm? Life is precious. She struggled to survive, and yet her mother spoke so easily…
“Why?”
Resentment dripped from her voice. She felt her mother’s grip tighten.
“This child is important to me.”
“Because she may be born as the heir?”
Her mother shook her head in response to Hong-ah’s discontented question.
