Chapter 18
“Why are you two always so busy? Why is it so hard to meet up?”
Ji-woo asked, taking a big bite of pepperoni pizza.
No-eul replied,
“Maybe you’re just too free.”
“No way. I’m super busy, you know. Han-sol, thanks for coming out today.”
Ji-woo took another exaggerated bite of pizza.
Han-sol said,
“It’s fine. I was thinking we should meet up anyway. Last time we couldn’t hang out because I had a make-up class.”
No-eul sneaked a glance at Han-sol’s face. As usual in front of others, Han-sol wore that cool, aloof, cat-like expression.
Truthfully, No-eul felt a bit guilty. She’d set up this meet-up without asking Han-sol first.
Yesterday Ji-woo had looked like a sulky little puppy, and No-eul couldn’t stand it. She clearly wants to hang out so badly—why not just meet up once? she thought. It would look weird to keep pushing Ji-woo away when she was trying so hard to be friendly. And it might even seem like No-eul and Han-sol were acting superior. Han-sol had hung out with Ji-woo before anyway, so No-eul figured she wouldn’t mind.
But on the way home after parting with Ji-woo, No-eul regretted setting the plan so hastily. She should have asked Han-sol first, but she’d blurted out the date and time on impulse. Of course, she could have taken it back, but Ji-woo had been so happy that No-eul couldn’t bring herself to cancel. Keeping some distance from Ji-woo was one thing; letting Ji-woo think No-eul was all talk was another.
As expected, Han-sol’s reaction was lukewarm. No-eul didn’t think Han-sol disliked Ji-woo, just that she didn’t feel totally comfortable either—willing to meet if she had to, but not excited.
Sorry for making plans on my own. If you’re busy or don’t feel like it, I’ll handle it.
…Nah. It’s fine. Let’s just have dinner. Last time Ji-woo wanted to go clothes shopping and we couldn’t, so… yeah, it might be nice to meet once.
Normally, No-eul would have taken that as a hint to cancel, or offered to go alone.
But this time she pretended not to notice. She wanted this meeting to happen, even if she had to play dumb.
Really? Thanks for understanding. Dinner’s on me then.
It’s okay. It’s not like you forced me. I’m hanging out too.
Still, I made the plan without asking.
…Just don’t do it next time.
Han-sol’s words sent a slight chill down No-eul’s spine.
…Yeah.
And so the three of them ended up meeting for dinner.
Ji-woo eyed the pizzas and said,
“Who didn’t eat the arugula pizza or the potato one?”
“Oh, I left those,” Han-sol said.
“You’re not eating them?” Ji-woo’s eyes clearly said, Please say no so I can have them!
“Yeah, go ahead. I’m done.”
“Really? Thanks! But why not—are you full?”
“No. I just have a set amount I eat.”
“Ah, watching your weight?”
“Yeah.”
“As expected. That’s why you’re so slim. Do you even stick to sugar-free snacks?”
“Usually, yeah.”
“My friend recommended these amazing sugar-free cookies. Want me to send you the link? Actually, forget it, I’ll just buy them for you.”
“Uh… no, a link is fine.”
“No, no, I want to give them to you.”
Ji-woo stuffed the remaining pizza into her mouth and grabbed her phone, cheeks puffed out like a greedy hamster.
No-eul wondered how all that food fit into such a small body. Ji-woo always looked especially adorable when she ate—maybe because people shine brightest doing what they love.
That thought reminded No-eul of Han-sol’s teasing comment last time: that No-eul stared at Ji-woo too obviously.
She quickly pretended to look out the window behind Ji-woo.
“Sent it, sent it!”
Han-sol checked her phone. Ji-woo watched eagerly, like a child waiting for praise after showing a drawing.
How can someone be so transparent? No-eul thought.
“Thanks. I’ll enjoy them,” Han-sol said.
“Don’t mention it. If I find other good ones, I’ll send more.”
Ji-woo beamed, then looked to No-eul as if asking, Didn’t I do great?
No-eul chuckled.
Han-sol’s cat-like expression hadn’t changed much. She sipped her zero-calorie cola. Something about it made No-eul uneasy. Han-sol seemed slightly lower-energy than usual—she’d looked happier when they’d eaten after the movie last time. Maybe that was because Jun-gi was there?
It could’ve been No-eul’s imagination, and nothing seemed wrong, so she stayed quiet.
Ji-woo asked,
“Han-sol, where do you usually buy clothes?”
“Online.”
“Any favorite shops?”
“Yeah, a few.”
“Can you share them?”
“Sure, I’ll send the links.”
“Thanks! …What do you usually do in your free time?”
“Hmm, mostly exercise.”
“Really? You must love working out.”
“…Not really.”
No-eul stared at Han-sol deliberately, so she’d notice.
But Han-sol avoided her gaze, acting unaware.
No-eul felt sure now—it wasn’t just her imagination. Han-sol seemed upset about something, maybe holding it in.
Han-sol continued,
“I can’t exercise casually. I go all-out or I gain weight fast. So honestly, my dream is to not have to work out.”
“Wow… that’s intense. You’re amazing,” Ji-woo said.
“Am I?” Han-sol gave a faint smile.
“Yeah. I’ve never done anything with that kind of all-or-nothing drive.”
“…….”
Han-sol nodded briefly, a flicker of sarcasm crossing her face.
Ji-woo looked a bit awkward at the lack of response.
No-eul jumped in,
“You mean to say you’ve never obsessed over anything?”
“Huh? And what about you?”
“I once played League of Legends like my life depended on it. Pulled an all-nighter at a PC café for three days—no sleep, no shower, even held my poop just to keep playing. You know that kind of passion?”
“Ew, gross,” Ji-woo grimaced.
Han-sol chuckled.
“Wow, just what I wanted to know.”
“Hey, Ji-woo asked, so I answered.”
Han-sol’s mood seemed to lift a little.
“But if you hate it so much,” Ji-woo said, “why not just skip workouts?”
Han-sol looked at her.
“You might gain some weight, but you’d still be pretty. You’re lighter than you look anyway. Maybe don’t stress so much about the number.”
“…Yeah, I guess I’m a bit obsessive.”
“Seriously, you’d still be gorgeous even 10 kilos heavier.”
“…You’d still be pretty if you gained weight too. You love eating—why don’t you eat more?”
“…I do eat everything I want. I can’t stand being hungry. If I’m hungry at night, I’ll cook ramen. On weekends I sometimes grill meat as soon as I wake up. Morning meat is amazing, you know?”
“…I see.”
Something about their conversation kept missing the mark.
Ji-woo was trying hard—praising Han-sol, offering solutions—but it didn’t seem to cheer Han-sol up or make her like Ji-woo more.
Under the table, No-eul tapped the chair arm, thinking.
“Hey,” No-eul said at last, “could you two stop with the ‘you’re so pretty’ talk? I’m feeling seriously left out.”
Ji-woo giggled.
“Then you should’ve jumped in!”
“Even with all my wit, how could I join that conversation?”
“Why not?”
“When you keep going on about how gorgeous Han-sol is, do you ever think how bored I get?”
“Oh? Uh….”
Ji-woo sneaked a glance at Han-sol, embarrassed.
No-eul went on,
“Han-sol’s skin is perfect, her eyes are stunning—sure, I wish I had that cat-like beauty, blah blah. But if I start talking about League again, would you enjoy it? No, right? Think about your audience.”
“It’s not like I said it that many times….”
Both Ji-woo and Han-sol looked shy and avoided each other’s eyes.
No-eul teased,
“Han-sol, you could also say Ji-woo’s pretty, cute, has a great personality… Just date each other already. Why torment me?”
Han-sol quipped,
“Then you can just walk out the door now.”
“Wow. Kicking me out? Harsh.”
“You’re the one whining.”
“Whining? We’ll see. Just whine to me once and see what happens.”
Ji-woo said to Han-sol,
“You can say things like that to me directly, you know.”
“It’s kind of embarrassing.”
“Still… it feels really nice.”
Flustered, Han-sol turned to No-eul with a joke,
“From now on, you’re out of the group chat.”
“What? You two can just DM each other. What a clown.”
Ji-woo scolded,
“Hey, don’t call Han-sol a clown.”
“Fine, fine. My fault. All my fault.”
“Yep. Your fault.”
After No-eul endured some playful teasing, the conversation between Ji-woo and Han-sol grew easier.
No-eul leaned back, laughing and chiming in occasionally.
Ji-woo brightened as Han-sol warmed up. Han-sol’s expression softened from aloof cat to gentle cat.
No-eul thought the two of them looked like a scene from a drama—pretty girls chatting, sure to draw plenty of admiring guys. Neither even had a boyfriend….
What would people think seeing the three of them together? Maybe they’ll assume I’m rich and buy them everything. No, with these two it’d be more like, “She must give them each a luxury bag every month.”
If those two ever grew really close, No-eul figured she could quietly fade away. Han-sol would have a like-minded friend; Ji-woo wouldn’t need to approach No-eul anymore. Then No-eul wouldn’t have to endure the stares of being the odd one out.
And what then?
She’d just go back to her old life. Mostly alone. Making up for what her looks supposedly lacked by racking up good grades, studying English, preparing for jobs. Occasionally attending class get-togethers to clown around, reassuring herself she was still liked. Then back to being alone—without the deep talks with Han-sol, without Ji-woo’s innocent kindness.
The thought made her chest tighten. The life she’d just imagined felt bleak and joyless. A few months ago it wouldn’t have bothered her—she couldn’t even imagine anything else.
But now, why did returning to that life feel so suffocating?
Like a deep-sea fish that once peeked at the surface and now dreaded sinking back into the dark.
It felt like she could never go back.
“No-eul, you okay?”
Ji-woo and Han-sol were both looking at her.
“…Yeah. I’m fine,” No-eul said.
