#154. Perhaps, Really
Compared to the shame of being unable to make the one you love happy, tears were nothing.
That was why Melchizedek deliberately did not hide his own.
Riana did not try to comfort him. She only spoke after Melchizedek’s rough breathing had calmed.
“Why don’t you try it in front of Blanche?”
For a moment, Melchizedek wondered if Riana was mocking him. But there was not a trace of ridicule in her voice.
He blinked, brushing away the tears clinging to his lashes, and let out a low laugh.
“That’s impossible.”
“Why not?”
Riana tilted her head slightly to one side.
“Because I would get angry.”
Melchizedek did not fear a fight. Baekryeon did not pick quarrels with others.
Blanche still called him “Your Majesty” and treated him with respect. So he knew she would not argue with him either.
And that was precisely what terrified him the most.
At least if she argued, he could guess what she was thinking.
But it was difficult for him to predict the state of someone who neither fought nor replied aggressively.
Melchizedek took a deep breath and steadied his mind.
It was good that his emotions had not erupted in front of Blanche. It was fine. He could contain them again.
“So, you mean it’s better to just endure it quietly?”
Riana asked, tilting her head slightly. Melchizedek hesitated for a moment, then slowly nodded.
“Yes. If I endure even a little, everything will proceed smoothly.”
“Do you really think that? That if you endure it, everything will go well?”
Melchizedek paused for a moment, then nodded again. Was he sincere? He truly was.
He was giving Blanche what she needed now.
Even though this had prevented him from carrying out the conquest he had planned, Blanche welcomed his assistance willingly.
It was fine. At least he could prevent her from walking into unhappiness.
It was better than in his past life, when he had opened her coffin and witnessed her final moments. Anger could simply be suppressed.
If he could do just that, everything would go smoothly.
“Yes, that’s what I think.”
“Ah.”
Riana’s eyes narrowed. Her expression was that of a predator facing its prey.
Melchizedek wondered which of his words had caused such a look.
He briefly reconsidered his statements but could not identify the cause.
If she were scolding him for daring to get angry at Blanche despite being in the wrong, she would have shown it earlier, right?
The words that slipped from Riana’s mouth were not what Melchizedek had anticipated.
“And your happiness?”
“…My?”
Caught off guard, Melchizedek’s eyes widened slightly.
Why was his happiness even a topic now? The one he needed to care about was Blanche’s.
“Why, you just said it yourself. Blanche’s mistake is not caring about her own happiness.”
But then, what about you?
The unanswerable question struck Melchizedek in the pit of his stomach.
He unconsciously frowned at the pain of confronting an imaginary reality.
“Right now… yes. It doesn’t seem bad. I don’t know if I’m truly happy, but I don’t seem unhappy. But will it be like this forever? Enduring continuously, even in a situation where you might not gain Blanche’s happiness in return… will you still be okay?”
The unexpected question froze Melchizedek in his frown.
Judging that Melchizedek had fully understood, Riana relaxed her expression and smiled.
“You might get angry. You might argue. Perhaps, for a time, you might grow apart as if you’ll never see each other again… Even so, in the long run, I think this conversation needs to happen with Blanche.”
Well, this is just my personal opinion.
Riana shrugged, picked up her book, and rose from her seat.
“The choice is entirely yours.”
Her last words brushed past Melchizedek’s ear. He was already lost in deep thought.
Left alone in the room after Riana’s departure, Melchizedek reflected repeatedly.
Had he ever truly made an effort to be happy? What had Blanche thought of him?
Perhaps… truly, had he not made the same mistake as she did?
His Majesty’s assurances were truly effective.
“If you need anything, do not hesitate to ask. It’s not meant to boast, but the trade guild operated by our family has a considerable reach. There’s even a saying that if our guild cannot obtain something, it cannot be found anywhere in Cartian.”
The person speaking to him was Count Shale, who ran the Feildon Trade Guild.
By his own account, the guild had a solid reputation. Shale’s family had generally not been especially friendly toward Melchizedek.
Not that they were hostile. Rather, the rank of guild master mattered more than that of count, so they preferred not to get involved in political matters.
“You work tirelessly for the nation, and everyone knows it—from birds in the day to mice at night. Who would dare view my small gesture with disapproval?”
And yet here he was, requesting a private audience and flattering him.
It was literally like a puppy turning belly-up and begging for affection.
Melchizedek moved the cod from his lunch to his mouth and couldn’t help but marvel at His Majesty’s ability.
“By the way, I heard that His Majesty intends to reselect the royal suppliers…”
“Everything will be chosen fairly through auction.”
He cut off the subject firmly, subtly confirming that the supplier reselection was indeed happening.
All the current suppliers were connected to the previous royal family. There was no need to continue enriching them.
“Ah, of course. I’ve heard much of Your Majesty’s fairness.”
Naturally, the rumors of supplier reselection and His Majesty’s fairness had all come from His Majesty himself. There was no one else in the court capable of spreading such precise rumors.
“Rather, I merely hope that my modest gift will not be mistaken for bribery or anything like that.”
How one could blend into high society, spread timely rumors, and remain incognito was beyond his imagination.
“Truly thoughtful. Do not worry, Count. I will not misunderstand your intentions.”
Indeed.
Had he been a naive child, he might have been swayed by the count’s gift. But he was a man who had experienced countless human affairs. Declaring this now would provide an excuse later if the count complained.
But what about His Majesty?
Even if he did not point it out, His Majesty surely knew boundaries better than anyone. Perhaps he was concerned.
Should he give Count Shale a little leeway and let him benefit quietly?
Melchizedek concluded the lunch by tossing a few ambiguous remarks to Count Shale and departed.
His Majesty was uniting the nobles faster than he had expected, more gently than he had imagined.
At this rate, internal affairs might truly stabilize within the year.
“Such measures weren’t even necessary for him…”
Watching His Majesty, mixed feelings arose. He felt admiration and gratitude for His ability, and at the same time, a self-deprecating realization that such drastic measures were unnecessary for him.
“…You’ve grown full, haven’t you?”
He shook his head to shake off the thoughts. How presumptuous to feel self-pity while benefiting from His Majesty’s help.
He already knew he was imperfect. Even His Majesty did not expect him to achieve such feats.
“I’ll just do what I can.”
He would quietly do what he could, as always.
Pausing briefly, he caught his breath and organized what he needed to do and could do.
Yes. First, he should thank His Majesty and inquire whether he needed to offer compensation.
Unlike his past life, when everything from His Majesty was a reward for loyalty, now he worked for him without expectation of repayment.
He should give some form of return. Resolving this in his mind, he began walking again.
