#114. The Empty Seat (2)
Sasha held her breath, her mind racing.
Should she keep pretending to sleep and wait for the intruder to lower his guard? Or should she rise and drive him out?
She cracked her eyes open slightly.
The room was dark—she had turned off the lamps before lying down. Moonlight slipped faintly through the curtains, but it was too weak to reveal even the outline of the bedside table.
She could see almost nothing. Only the intruder’s broad frame told her it was a man.
A man.
For a moment, Sasha thought it might be her maid, Nina.
“You mustn’t skip dinner… You didn’t eat all day. Don’t you need water? You hardly ate or drank since Kalita, you must be so thirsty… and you haven’t slept well either…”
The young maid had worried when Sasha nearly stumbled earlier after the funeral. Even as she served her until bedtime, Nina’s trembling voice echoed in Sasha’s ears.
So Sasha thought Nina had come secretly in the night to bring water or check on her.
But she was wrong.
The figure in her room was far larger than small Nina.
Footsteps—heavy and slow—approached.
“Mm…”
Sasha rolled over, pretending to talk in her sleep. The man paused, as though worried about waking her.
Her hair slipped across her eyes. She opened them wider.
Tall. Very tall. As her gaze lifted, moonlight revealed his face.
There was no mistaking him.
“Pavel?”
Her hoarse whisper broke the silence.
“You’re awake?” His voice was soft.
“…Yes.”
Her drowsiness vanished in an instant.
“Why are you here? You’re leaving tomorrow. You need rest. Couldn’t you sleep?”
He didn’t answer. Sasha lit the lamp, drank from the cup Nina had left, then turned back.
Pavel still stood silently by the bed, watching her. His eyes gleamed faintly, whether from the light or from his unsettled feelings, she couldn’t tell.
“Can’t sleep?” she asked again, gently.
Her kind voice wrapped around him. Pavel nodded slowly.
“…Yes.”
Sasha blinked. She couldn’t sleep either. She stepped closer.
“Then… shall we sleep together tonight?”
He stiffened, but she lifted the blanket anyway.
“Come here. Lie down.”
Hesitating, he finally lay beside her.
“It’s been a while since we shared a bed,” Sasha murmured.
“…Yes.”
She turned—and froze. His face was right there, his eyes locked only on her.
Then Pavel seized her hand.
“Pavel? Why are you—”
He pulled her hand to his chest.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
His heart raced wildly.
“I’m not fine at all. With you, I’m never fine.”
Her own heart pounded just as hard.
The air grew heavy, filled with warmth and tension. If she leaned in just a little, their lips would meet.
But Sasha only traced his jawline, brushing his cheek and brow with her fingers. He trembled at her touch.
Still, she didn’t embrace him.
Today was Dmitri’s funeral. Tomorrow, Pavel leaves for war.
“After you leave… what if you can’t sleep without me?” she whispered.
“Then I’ll miss you.”
“…I’ll miss you too.”
“Tell me whenever you do,” he replied quickly, as if he would come no matter what.
“How?”
Silence. He finally murmured:
“…I could write letters.”
Sasha smiled. “Then I’ll send letters often.”
He gave a faint smile, but when she teased that replies would take too long, his brows knit in frustration.
She stifled a laugh. Such peaceful, happy moments.
If only they could last.
But the thought of tomorrow’s parting dimmed her smile.
She looked at his clear, sleepless eyes and remembered what she could do.
“Shall I sing you a lullaby?”
Pavel froze.
“You remember? I used to sing often. You always slept well then.”
“…Of course I remember.”
“…Then listen.”
Her soft song filled the room. The familiar tune, in a language only she knew, wrapped around him.
But soon, Sasha herself fell asleep mid-song.
Pavel pulled her closer, slid his arm beneath her head, and played gently with her hair. He buried his face in it, breathing in her scent.
Her steady breaths filled the silence.
If only time could stop like this.
But it didn’t.
Holding her, Pavel exhaled a heavy sigh.
It wasn’t war he feared—it was leaving her. He couldn’t imagine a day without her.
Even if Sasha was strong enough to protect herself and others, he still wanted to protect her.
That was why he had to go. To keep her safe.
He didn’t want to leave her. But he had to.
He memorized her sleeping face.
He wished dawn would never come. But time moved on.
And at last, the moment of parting arrived.
