Chapter 38
The boy, startled by my sudden appearance, froze in place. His wide eyes brimmed with tears, about to spill over.
“Y-you, who are you!”
The boy, as if coming to his senses late, jumped to his feet and pointed at me accusingly. With his other hand, he hastily rubbed his eyes.
His flustered reaction made me regret approaching him, but it couldn’t be helped.
From his crying voice alone, I could tell he was just a child. How could I, as an adult, ignore him? If he’d simply lost his way, I had been ready to take him back.
But seeing how confused he was by my presence, that clearly wasn’t it. Then why had this child been crying here all alone?
“Didn’t I ask who you are? A-are you perhaps someone Father sent…?”
Father?
The word out of his mouth made me pause. I gave the boy another careful look.
Hair purer gold than Lodi’s, clear blue eyes, clothes of the finest fabric, and the way he spoke down to me without hesitation. And above all, the way he’d said Father…
Don’t tell me this kid is…
— And in that year, Emperor Eoman Price had a child with Empress Iris.
— That child is the First Prince, Saeid Price.
The lines from a book I’d once read surfaced in my mind.
I stared blankly at the boy while he looked at me with disapproval.
“I asked what you are.”
Since I said nothing, his demeanor shifted. He stepped back, eyeing me warily.
I hesitated. For a moment, I considered just running away. Getting tangled with royalty would do me no good.
But fleeing would only make me more suspicious. If they sent out a search calling me an intruder, I’d be in trouble.
I should’ve just ignored him.
How was I supposed to guess that the child crying here was of royal blood? Blaming my own weakness for children, I forced an innocent smile and replied:
“Just a passerby… let’s say.”
“A passerby… here, of all places?”
The boy—Saeid—swept his gaze around with disbelief.
Well, admittedly, it was too secluded and empty of people to just be passing through. Still, I pushed on shamelessly.
Even if he was a prince, a child was still a child. Whoever raises their voice louder usually wins.
“Yeah. It’s my first time in the palace, so I got carried away sightseeing and ended up lost.”
I debated whether to switch to honorifics, but if he realized I knew he was royalty, he might grow more guarded. So I kept speaking as I had.
Saeid narrowed his eyes, suspicion flickering there.
I only shrugged lightly in response. Then, with a sigh, he leaned back against a tree.
“As long as you’re not here looking for me, then that’s… W-wait! Why are you sitting next to me?”
I gathered up my dress and crouched beside him. Startled, Saeid stammered out a protest. I answered calmly:
“I told you, I’m lost. I don’t know where to go, and my legs are tired, so I thought I’d rest a little. Why?”
Now that it had come to this, I wanted to talk with him. Not just because of his role, but because I was curious why this royal child had been crying here alone.
Saeid gave me a look of disbelief.
“Why, why— Even so, why next to me of all places?”
“Not next to you. This tree looked like a good spot to lean against. Don’t mind me.”
“…Do you really not know who I am?”
When I ignored him and fiddled with something else, he asked cautiously.
Of course I knew, but I feigned ignorance.
“No idea. I told you, it’s my first time here.”
“…I see.”
Only then did Saeid look relieved.
Honestly, anyone who’d heard him call the Emperor Father right away would’ve guessed his identity. But apparently, Saeid hadn’t noticed that.
Still just a kid.
I gazed up at the sky idly while he stared silently at the ground.
To be honest, I was surprised. I’d thought that, embarrassed after being caught crying, he’d just run away from me.
Instead, I stole a sidelong glance at him.
That pure golden hair, those bright blue eyes, pale skin, and wide, innocent gaze—he was a boy as striking as Cloan.
So this is the one who’ll one day rival Cloan as the “second male lead.”
In The Indelible Scar, Saeid appears as Cloan’s rival. His looks and background had been set up to contrast directly with Cloan’s.
“Why… why are you staring at me like that?”
I must’ve been watching him too intently out of fascination. Saeid fidgeted nervously.
Seeing him watch me so timidly stirred something indescribable inside me.
He’s… cute!
Like a whimpering puppy, his expression tugged at my heartstrings.
I held back the smile tugging at my lips and asked evenly:
“More importantly, why were you crying? Did something upset you?”
“…Uh.”
He flinched, clearly not expecting the question. But since he didn’t run, it seemed he didn’t dislike me.
Saeid hesitated, while I waited quietly.
After a while, he muttered gloomily:
“…It’s nothing. I’m just… so stupid and pathetic…”
Saying it seemed to drag him down again; he buried his face deeper.
“I can’t do anything well. Every day I’m just disappointing and worthless. Someone like me… should never have been born.”
At those words, I froze. He was sniffling again.
My heart dropped. After a pause, I moved my lips.
“Why do you think you should never have been born?”
“…?”
At the firmness of my tone, Saeid slowly lifted his head. I pressed my lips together.
At the orphanage, the phrase I’d heard most often was I should never have been born.
Abandoned, terrified of the pain ahead, the children denied their very existence.
— Sister, Mom and Dad abandoned me. Why did they even have me if they were just going to leave me? They shouldn’t have. I guess I shouldn’t have been born.
That was what a little one Saeid’s age had once said, sobbing in my arms. Hearing it had broken my heart.
What had I answered then…?
“…If you hadn’t been born, I would’ve been sad.”
“…What?”
Saeid’s eyes widened, disbelief written across his face.
When I thought about it, sure, I’d cared most for the protagonists of the story. But Saeid, too, had tugged at my heart.
Even if his obsessive side had been tiring, that had only been because he was hurting, desperate to be healed.
And yet in the story, he never did find love. He fell into ruin instead.
Pity welled in me, making me want to comfort him, somehow.
Awkwardly, I smiled and continued:
“Don’t you see? If you hadn’t been born, I never would’ve known you existed, never would’ve met you like this and shared this conversation.”
“B-but this is our first meeting!”
“Then we’ll just get to know each other from now on. Isn’t that fine?”
When I grinned at him, Saeid’s face flushed red, his earlier gloom forgotten. He twisted his fingers together nervously.
“D-do you really mean that?”
“Of course. I’m truly glad I met you.”
His father, the Emperor, treated him like property, showering him not with love but with abuse.
In the novel, Saeid only appeared as an adult. From his first appearance, he had seemed dark and brooding. Like his father, he was gifted in both mind and body, but he never opened his heart to anyone.
That was a far cry from this innocent, lovely child before me. Which made me worry all the more.
Because I knew how he would grow up.
“Don’t be hurt by the words of those who wish to wound you. Advice worth hearing, yes—but words that do nothing but harm, let them pass. Don’t let yourself drown in self-loathing. To someone, you are an irreplaceably precious person.”
And then I thought—
Can’t the future be changed?
If I wanted to change the futures of the children at the orphanage, maybe I could change Saeid’s too.
But that could put the kids in danger.
I needed to stay as far from the royal family as possible. Saeid was royalty. If I meddled with his fate, my precious children might suffer for it.
No matter how pitiful Saeid was, the orphans were dearer to me.
Still, if I could change Cloan and Ren’s futures, maybe his would change too.
I clenched my fists.
Saeid, staring blankly at me, opened his mouth.
“Your name…”
But he couldn’t finish.
“Your Highness, there you are.”
A man appeared behind him. Saeid shot to his feet.
“Chief Attendant!”
“His Majesty is looking for you.”
I’d been awkwardly rising too, but froze at the word His Majesty. When the so-called chief attendant’s gaze shifted to me, I quickly bolted in the opposite direction.
I heard Saeid calling after me, but I didn’t look back.
If I was right, that man was the Emperor’s attendant.
He didn’t recognize who I was, did he?
I had no desire to catch the Emperor’s eye.
