Chapter 66
Raul’s True Self (2)
“How can you choose that child over a friend you’ve spent your whole life with? Are you blinded by men?”
“I’ve known Cassel since we were kids too.”
“That’s only for half a year! You haven’t even been reunited for two months. Surely it’s not some trivial reason like ‘I fell in love with the duke in that short time,’ is it?”
“It’s not that reason.”
Since their reunion, Riena had always held feelings for Cassel. She was still debating whether she should openly tell him how she felt now that he knew her own feelings.
But her choice wasn’t based solely on those emotions.
“Raul, I always thought you were a good friend who cared for me. But recently, you seem like a completely different person. It’s really unfamiliar. Even now. You’re acting like a child, insisting I make a choice.”
“…….”
“That’s why.”
She hoped Raul would feel something hearing this, but it seemed far too late to turn back.
Raul, who had been listening with his usual sarcastic attitude, spoke cynically to the end.
“Be honest and just say it’s because you wanted the duchess’s title.”
“…….”
“I saw earlier—meeting the emperor, receiving so much attention from everyone. Honestly, under Dyke’s name, it wasn’t like that, was it?”
Riena took a deep breath, trying her best to control her anger at his increasingly harsh words.
“Fine. Think whatever you want.”
“Done talking?”
“Yes.”
“Then I’ll leave. I hope you don’t send me letters anymore. They’re troublesome to deal with.”
With that, Raul left her alone in the dark garden.
‘Cassel must be waiting…’
He was probably still worried about Riena not returning. Even knowing that, she couldn’t bring herself to go back yet.
Her mood was a complete mess. Even trying to think happy thoughts, she couldn’t manage her expression.
Cassel was more perceptive about things concerning her than anyone else. If she returned now, she would undoubtedly make him worry.
‘I’ll stay a little longer.’
Riena walked further to the opposite side of the hall, hoping that if Cassel came looking for her, he wouldn’t spot her easily.
As she walked slowly, a wave of sadness overwhelmed her.
She had lost so much in just three months.
Her father, family, her household, even her friends.
Of course, she had also met good people, including Cassel, but could she truly call them her own?
Amy, Ryan, Max, even Helen Setin and Anais, who had shown interest in her, would not treat her as warmly if she left Winkler.
Tears finally streamed down her cheeks. Riena buried her face in her hands, crying silently.
‘I want to see Cassel.’
The person she could rely on most right now.
Cassel had told her not to trust Raul—or even him—completely. But Riena wanted to trust him. She wanted at least him to be on her side completely in this world.
But what if Cassel disappeared too? Could she endure it if he left her first?
Now, Riena understood what Cassel had meant when he said he was happy when she existed and unhappy when she wasn’t.
It was the same for her. She had been happy since reuniting with Cassel and felt she would be miserable if he were gone.
She wanted to run to him and confess her feelings.
But the timing wasn’t right.
Rushing now would seem like she was trying to cling to someone before everyone abandoned her. Plus, confessing while crying might not convey her true feelings.
It was better to calm herself and wait for a better moment.
As Riena comforted herself, a voice suddenly called from behind.
“Are you alright?”
Riena quickly wiped her wet cheeks.
“If you need a handkerchief…”
“No! It’s just… some dust got in my eyes. A handkerchief isn’t necessary. Thank you, that’s very kind of you.”
She peeked back, partially covering her face, and met an unwelcome gaze.
“It’s been a while, young lady.”
Johannes Beliar. He looked more splendid than when he visited the Dyke mansion, with neatly arranged blond curls and a more refined formal outfit.
“Yes, it’s been a while.”
Johannes extended his hand. Hesitant at first, Riena placed her hand on his, and he kissed the back of it, gloved.
“What made you so sad, young lady?”
“It’s nothing. Really, dust got in my eyes…”
Though she couldn’t see her face, she knew it was a mess. Her eyes were red, and tears left streaks down her cheeks.
Yet Johannes didn’t pry further and pretended to believe her.
“It’s not pollen season like spring, but the air is dry and dusty at times. If you ever need a handkerchief, please let me know.”
“Thank you, but I’m really fine.”
Riena was relieved. Johannes nodded, acknowledging her, and changed the subject.
“Are you enjoying the party?”
“I’m not sure. Honestly, I’m so nervous I don’t even remember what I did the entire time. From the moment I saw the emperor and the princess, I was in a daze.”
“You seem to be getting along well with others, though.”
“You noticed?”
“Yes. From the moment you appeared, I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”
Riena didn’t know what to say and just smiled.
Being with Johannes felt awkward. After all, he had proposed, and she had refused.
Not just refused—she had left with Cassel in front of him.
It was an unavoidable choice at the time, but she knew it hadn’t been pleasant for Johannes.
She wished he would treat her coldly, but he remained kind and didn’t hide his interest in her.
Moreover…
‘Why do I keep thinking about the dream?’
The image of Johannes from her dream lingered vividly. His friendly smile, the snake-like glint in his eyes, and the way he dominated her without hesitation—it all felt as real as if it had actually happened.
She didn’t want to be wary of him, but instinctively took a step back.
Johannes spoke first.
“You look better than last time. You’ve been well, haven’t you?”
Riena nervously touched her cheek, unsure how to answer.
“Yes… I’ve been… so-so. How about you, Sir Beliar? Have you been well?”
“I’ve been fine too. I had some heartache, but it’s alright now.”
“I’m sorry for what happened then. Though the situation was difficult, it wasn’t polite of me.”
“No, I understand completely. I was the one imposing by visiting your estate unexpectedly, so it’s I who should apologize.”
Riena waved her hand.
“No, really, there’s no need to apologize.”
“Haha, then if we both have things to apologize for, we’re back at square one. How about we decide not to feel sorry for each other anymore?”
“Yes, let’s do that.”
As Riena smiled faintly, Johannes slowly approached her.
Startled by the shadow over her, she stepped back. The distance she had closed was suddenly gone.
Johannes raised his hands, signaling he meant no harm.
“Sorry for startling you. I should have been more considerate.”
“No, it’s not that. It’s just…”
Riena forced a bright smile.
“There could be people watching.”
“I see.”
Johannes glanced around and took a few steps back, and Riena finally felt a little relieved.
He hesitated briefly before asking,
“And how is Duke Winkler?”
“What do you mean by ‘how’ exactly?”
“Does he treat you well?”
“Excuse me?”
Johannes chuckled softly.
“Was I overdoing it this time too?”
Unable to say yes, Riena just smiled, and he continued.
“I know it’s pathetic of me, but I can’t get you out of my mind. I can hardly imagine ever feeling such strong emotions again. Thinking of you makes my heart race and makes me feel shy.”
“Well…”
Riena hesitated, then spoke firmly.
“I’m flattered that you think so highly of me. But honestly, I don’t understand why you pay so much attention to me.”
“Really?”
“Yes. We’ve only met a few times at parties and haven’t interacted much since. Your conversation is delightful, of course, but that’s different. And I’m not very good with words, so I doubt you enjoyed talking with me much.”
“That’s not true. I enjoyed our conversation.”
“I’m glad to hear that. Still, you’re a good person, so I’m sure you’ll meet someone even more suitable than me soon.”
Johannes smiled vaguely.
“Perhaps. But… it wouldn’t mean anything if it’s not you.”
