Chapter 45
The rain that had started the previous night had grown stronger. They said it was an unusually late monsoon. The scorching heat of the past few days had suddenly turned into stormy weather, leaving both body and mind disoriented.
Serin packed her last belongings while listening to the sound of raindrops tapping against the window.
Her passport, some cash she would need while staying abroad, a few photographs with her mother and father, and an old fountain pen her father used when he was alive.
Opening her desk drawer, Serin hesitated several times before finally taking out a bundle of handwritten letters she had quietly tucked into one corner.
They were letters she and Taeyoon had exchanged playfully while he was in the U.S. In them, he had written things like how much he missed her or how he wanted to throw everything away and fly back to Korea right away — Taeyoon’s raw, unfiltered emotions were all over those pages.
At the time, Serin had read those letters over and over again. They made her think, Taeyoon is enduring something he really hates too. So she suppressed her own longing and waited patiently.
Even now, she still didn’t fully understand why he had gone to the U.S. He had hated the idea of leaving Korea so much. How had he endured four whole years over there?
Even if it was his grandmother’s dying wish, four years was still a long time.
Thinking back to that time, Serin eventually couldn’t bring herself to throw the letters away. She tucked them into a corner of her bag.
It felt too wasteful to leave them behind. They could be her final memories of Taeyoon.
Carrying her suitcase and small handbag, Serin looked around the room one last time.
Since she had already moved from her old place a few months ago, most of her belongings were gone. She had already thrown away so much. She had even spent some time at Hyeonmujae, so this house didn’t hold many memories.
There wasn’t much to wrap up in terms of her personal affairs. She had asked Aesun to take care of her father’s keepsakes, and Youngsook had promised to revive Dongyoung Foods.
“I guess that’s everything now.”
Serin realized she had no lingering attachments left here.
All that remained was to leave — for good.
“Go to New Zealand. The air is clean, and the scenery is beautiful. It’s a quiet place, not many people. I’ve already got a house set up and found someone to look after you. Just stay there for a few years. You don’t even have to come back.”
Serin smiled faintly, recalling what Youngsook had said the night before.
She had expected that Youngsook would send her somewhere far from Korea — but she hadn’t imagined it would be as far as New Zealand.
Maybe that was the point. Even Taeyoon probably wouldn’t be able to follow her all the way there.
Just as Youngsook said — if Serin lived peacefully in that clean air, maybe she would forget Taeyoon too.
As Serin zipped her suitcase shut after checking everything one last time, the doorbell rang. It seemed the person Youngsook had sent had arrived.
Holding her luggage, Serin walked to the front door. When she opened it, a tall man in a neatly pressed suit stood outside.
“I’ve been sent by Madam.”
He gave her a polite bow. She recognized him — she had seen him a few times at Hyeonmujae. He was one of Youngsook’s aides. Perhaps Secretary Han?
Only one person had come to pick her up. She had expected at least two or three — but maybe they didn’t want to draw attention.
“Yes, hello…”
Serin greeted him softly, and Secretary Han took her suitcase from her.
“I’ll be escorting Miss Eun Serin to the airport. Madam instructed me to stay with you until your departure is confirmed.”
Serin swallowed a bitter smile. Very much like Youngsook — making sure Serin didn’t have a change of heart and run to Taeyoon at the last moment.
But Serin had no intention of doing that. She had done all she could. She had fought hard enough. That was enough.
“Shall we go?”
Serin nodded. Secretary Han took the lead. He pulled her suitcase, so all Serin held was her small handbag.
At a glance, his actions looked courteous. But Serin wasn’t naïve. She knew that by carrying her luggage, he was also limiting her movement — making it harder for her to suddenly run off.
Still, even that near-malicious control, Serin let go. None of it mattered anymore. All she wanted was to be sent off safely.
His near-constant surveillance continued even at the airport. He got her boarding pass and completed check-in on her behalf.
After lifting her suitcase onto the conveyor belt, he checked his wristwatch.
“We have a little time left. Is there anything else you need to do?”
It was as if he were signaling: If you have anything left, do it now. This is your last chance.
Serin looked around with a hesitant expression. Truthfully, there was one place she had wanted to visit earlier — but had held back because of him.
“Yes. I’d like to visit a pharmacy for a moment.”
“The pharmacy?”
“Yes. I’m not feeling well…”
She rubbed the back of her neck and trailed off.
Maybe because of the recent emotional upheaval — her body had felt heavy lately. Her breathing was shallow.
Even though it was nearly 30°C despite the rain, she was the only one in a cardigan.
The man studied her complexion. Maybe she really did look unwell, because he nodded.
“Alright then.”
He leaned against the wall, assuming she wouldn’t do anything now that her bags were already sent off. He didn’t follow her.
Serin was relieved and headed toward the pharmacy.
There were already a few people inside. Serin waited in line behind them, when she noticed a little girl holding a bunny plush toy.
The girl looked about five or six years old, with pigtails.
Her mother was busy talking to the pharmacist, and the girl kept glancing around nervously.
Her round, sparkling eyes reminded Serin of jewels. Her chubby cheeks were so cute that Serin couldn’t help but smile.
Then the girl looked directly at Serin — staring straight into her eyes.
Serin, still smiling, moved her lips gently and greeted her.
“Hi there, sweetie.”
But the girl didn’t respond — she just kept staring at Serin.
Why is she staring like that? Do kids usually do this?
Just as Serin tilted her head slightly, the girl suddenly lifted her bunny plush and tapped Serin’s stomach with it.
“Baby, baby.”
Because of the height difference, the bunny’s head tapped right against Serin’s belly.
Startled, Serin looked down. So did the girl’s mother, who had just turned back from the counter.
“Eunji, what are you doing?”
“Baby! Baby!!”
The girl stubbornly waved the plush bunny at Serin’s stomach, as if insisting.
The mother gave Serin an apologetic look as she tried to stop her daughter.
“I’m so sorry. I don’t know what’s gotten into her.”
“It’s okay. Kids do that sometimes.”
“Ugh, I’m really sorry. She just started talking recently and keeps saying the most random things these days.”
When their medicine was ready, the mother quickly grabbed her daughter’s hand and led her away. But even as she was being pulled, the girl kept staring at Serin — and that gaze stuck with her.
Baby?… Baby?
Serin stood there, frozen, watching the child disappear.
“Miss, are you looking for anything in particular?”
The pharmacist’s voice snapped her out of it.
Serin quickly pulled out her wallet.
“Cold medicine and some allergy pills, please. Also, a bottle of anti-inflammatory painkillers and…”
She hesitated, swallowing dryly.
“…Do you have a pregnancy test kit by any chance?”
With the bag of medicine in hand, Serin headed to the restroom.
When was my last period again?
A month ago? Maybe more? She couldn’t remember exactly.
Her cycle had always been irregular, and with everything happening — her father’s funeral and her mental exhaustion — she hadn’t been taking care of herself.
But no, it couldn’t be.
I took birth control every time. It’s just a precaution. This is just to be sure. That’s all.
After closing the lid, Serin sat with a pounding heart and stared intently at the small window on the test stick.
