Chapter 54
Clovis shrugged his shoulders in response.
“I didn’t say anything. I just told the princess that you’re a good person, Count, and that if you ever have trouble, you could tell me and she would help you. That’s all.”
Immediately, a mischievous smile appeared on his lips.
“And ‘between us,’ you say. What exactly were you hoping I would say to the Count?”
Suddenly, he leaned his boyish face close to mine. My cheeks instantly flared. The phrase “between us” made me feel embarrassed, as if I had done something scandalous.
I quickly averted my gaze.
“Forget it. Let’s not talk about it.”
Clovis laughed and turned to face me. With a gentle hand, he brushed back a stray strand of hair that had slipped out from under my hair ornament.
“You look much better than before. The mask and hair ornament suit your outfit perfectly. When did you get these?”
I flinched and gripped my skirt at his words.
Holding the hem tightly with my right hand, I cautiously removed the mask with my left. The silver mask bore the guilt and apologies I felt toward Marie and Jean.
“I didn’t prepare this mask or these accessories. Someone else gave them to me.”
“Who?”
“Marie de Saint-Étienne’s younger sister… I think her name was Jean Antoinette.”
I uttered the name with a pang of anguish. A sharp sense of guilt surged from my throat to my jaw. The image of Jean, crying sadly, seemed to flicker before my eyes.
Still, I forced down the rising emotions.
“She said she was a maid of the Lamiane family. Do you know the name?”
Clovis’s eyes flickered as if trying to recall.
“Hmm, I rarely meet the female servants. I think there was a maid named Jean whom Blanche cared for…”
After staring into the air for a moment, he finally seemed to remember someone and turned to look at me.
“She was the adopted daughter and sister of Baron de Saint-Étienne?”
“Yes. I didn’t know either, at first.”
I clasped my hands on my lap and hunched like a guilty criminal, my voice drooping as low as my gaze.
“I wanted to apologize, but I couldn’t even tell her who I was. I should have apologized, yet I ended up receiving her help instead.”
Because of my meddling, because of my foolishness, I caused harm to someone else. And yet, instead of receiving compensation, I had taken even more.
I lowered my head in remorse.
Then Clovis placed a hand on my cheek. He gently caressed my face, making me look at him, and brushed my hair back with a tender touch.
“There’s no need to apologize. You just repay what you owe later.”
“But Marie…”
“That wasn’t your fault.”
Clovis’s hand rested gently on my shoulder. His blue eyes shone with a light that was both firm and kind.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. You were just unlucky. Both you and Marie Antoinette still have a chance. Whatever’s wrong can be corrected.”
He always had a way of making me realize what I had forgotten. Once again, his resolute words reminded me of the duty I had been entrusted with.
“That’s right. I have to fix it.”
There was no time to dwell on guilt. Marie was not dead, and Jean was waiting for her sister. And I had made a promise to her.
The innocent must be freed safely.
To prevent this from happening again, to stop the Lamiane Marquis from using me, to stop him from manipulating court affairs ever again, everything had to be set right.
“I have to fix this, somehow. Somehow, absolutely… I must.”
But only reason had returned to me. My emotions remained restless.
Clovis’s arms enveloped me gently once more. Still, the tremor through my body didn’t cease.
Finally, Clovis, seemingly frustrated, cupped my face with both hands. He turned my face so that my eyes met his directly.
I blinked in daze. His boyish features were right in front of me.
Then, his lips suddenly covered mine.
His breath, which had previously only brushed my cheeks, now enveloped my lips for the first time. Warm air blew through the small gap between our lips.
Heat radiated from the contact of our lips throughout my body. I felt the warmth and softness of his tongue between my lips.
Contrary to his aggressive approach, his kiss was extremely polite yet timid. Like a kitten hesitating over a bowl of milk, licking it lightly with its tongue.
Unable to resist, I bit his lips.
I saw the surprise widen in Clovis’s blue eyes. I closed my eyes tightly and clung to his lips. It was instinct, not reason.
I hadn’t imagined this moment continuously, nor had I expected to kiss him today.
Yet before I knew it, I greedily pressed my lips to his, exploring the narrow space with my tongue that no one else had ever touched.
His teeth were smooth on first taste. The moisture in his mouth was sweet like holy water, but unlike holy water, it only made me thirst for more.
Without hesitation, Clovis and I explored each other for a long while.
When our lips finally parted, there was not a trace of saliva left on our mouths. Not a breath, not a drop—we had absorbed it all.
My breathing didn’t settle easily. The air between our eyes and lips felt different from anywhere else.
Clovis cautiously opened his mouth, glancing at me.
“Estelle, suddenly… this—”
“Shh.”
I placed a fingertip on his lips and repeated the words he had said to me earlier.
“No need to apologize. Just return what you owe.”
At that moment, Clovis’s eyes sparkled. Though I didn’t see it directly, my own eyes must have mirrored the same brilliance.
Then, like a wolf, Clovis pressed his lips to mine again.
The previous hesitant, timid kiss was gone. Now his kiss was fierce and insistent.
I was the prey caught in the trap, unable to escape, being consumed by his burning passion.
Clovis’s arms held my shoulders tightly. I clung to him, receiving his kiss fully, and then returned it with equal intensity.
The sweet sound of mingling breaths filled the air. Passion surged with every inhale and exhale, joy overflowing from the connection of our hearts.
Only after what felt like eternity did he finally pull away.
We were breathing almost in sync. We didn’t care who had messed up whose hair or clothes.
Clovis interlaced his fingers with mine and held my hand firmly.
“You did nothing wrong.”
A whisper with no context or explanation.
Yet I nodded without question. No words were needed; everything I wanted to say had already been exchanged with our lips.
“Yes. Not at all.”
If Count Herder asked me what my relationship with Clovis was, I could now answer willingly.
A relationship where sharing breaths is not wrong, where being together changes the air, shifts the temperature, and calms the heart.
Because of this, we can always confidently say we’ve done nothing wrong to each other.
Clovis wrapped me tightly in his arms again. His black sleeve encircled my body once more. I didn’t pull away, burying my face into his broad shoulder.
I could feel his shoulder tremble. Soon, the tremor spread through his arms holding me. It was a completely different kind of trembling than the anxiety from before.
“I love you.”
Clovis confessed with a trembling voice.
“I love you, I love you, I love you.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck. My chest was so full I couldn’t speak long.
“I know, even if you don’t say it.”
Clovis whispered tenderly while holding me.
“The more kind words, the better. You’re so beautiful, yet few people give you kind words.”
Kind words. He truly was a person whose kindness could bring tears.
Yes, everyone needs kind words.
I wasn’t like other women, skilled at sweet confessions. I was bad at saying “I love you.” But that didn’t mean I had no kind words for him.
Return what you’ve received fully. At least that, I wanted to do properly. Whether it was revenge, comfort, or love.
“You are precious to me.”
I held Clovis and whispered sincerely.
“You’re more precious than anyone I know. I want to be with you, to stand proudly in front of others. I want you to be treated well wherever you go.”
Since this life began, it had always been him who calmed me, who worried for me.
He was the only person in this strange world who knew my previous life, the only one who fully understood me, and the only one who always stood by my side.
Clovis’s voice echoed in my ear.
“I feel the same way.”
He released his arms around me. I pulled away slightly and faced him. We were still holding hands tightly, as if it were a lifeline.
“We can fix everything. I’ll help you.”
“Yes. We’ll fix everything, absolutely.”
No more anxiety or impatience remained.
We shared another deep kiss. Then we sat in the empty garden for a long time, holding each other close.
