Chapter 51
“Please do it.”
When they met after a long time, Shanelika’s eyes did not sparkle as usual. Instead, they were filled with a heavy, murky fog that weighed down the air.
Derwin’s heart pounded fiercely. With such serious eyes, he instinctively knew that what she was about to say would not be ordinary.
“I’m thinking of going on a short trip outside the city for two days.”
As expected, it wasn’t casual conversation.
“I plan to leave this weekend. I heard from Cuddles that you’ll be away on business for a week starting tomorrow.”
Derwin grew uneasy. A trip during his absence?
Could it be that she had discovered he wasn’t really a dragon and had changed her heart? Was she planning to use this trip to sort out her feelings?
“…Where exactly will you be going?”
His lips moved heavily under the sudden weight of anxiety.
“I don’t know where.”
“You don’t know where, and yet you’re going… alone?”
“I’m not going alone. I’ll be going with the Commander.”
For a moment, Derwin thought his ears had betrayed him.
“Just now… who did you say you were going with?”
“The Commander of the Kaisel Knights.”
Clink.
The fork in Derwin’s hand fell to the floor. Even after dropping such a bombshell, Shanelika’s expression did not change.
“You just said… you’ll be traveling for two days to some unknown place with Sir Shtern. Did I hear correctly?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
Derwin didn’t even know what expression to make. Shanelika’s calm affirmation carried no trace of hesitation, no pleading, no apology. She was simply informing him of something already decided.
Silence hung in the air. The maid Marie, who had come to pour water, felt an invisible, crushing pressure between the two and instinctively backed away. She had never felt such an atmosphere before. It was clearly not the time to intrude. Marie quietly retreated.
“I cannot understand this.”
Only after Marie had completely left did Derwin finally speak his honest feelings.
“If you wish to travel, it would be best to do so with me next time.”
“I’m not asking for permission. I’m asking for your understanding.”
Permission. Understanding. The difference between the two words was enormous. Derwin clenched his fists tightly on his knees.
If she had smiled like usual while saying it, he might not have felt such dread. But both her words and her expression were utterly different from usual. He felt almost grateful that she hadn’t just told him flat-out, ‘I’m leaving you.’
“…What kind of trip is this?”
He forced the words out. No matter how he thought about it, he couldn’t find an answer. Why on earth would Shanelika travel with Shtern for two whole days?
“…I can’t tell you that.”
After a long pause, Shanelika replied quietly. It was an utterly unhelpful answer.
She couldn’t help it. She had to follow Shtern and confirm the existence of the Dragon Lord. But how could she possibly say that honestly? I think you’re not the Lord, so I’m going to check the real one. Impossible. And even then, she wasn’t entirely sure if the person Shtern mentioned truly was the Lord.
So until she confirmed it with her own eyes, she had no intention of telling Derwin.
“…Is this because I haven’t told you about my past?”
Derwin, straining to make sense of it, asked. Maybe conflict had arisen from his silence about his past, and that had led to this. Otherwise, he couldn’t imagine any reason why she would do such a thing.
“It has nothing to do with that. It’s something important to me.”
She firmly denied it.
“Then please tell me what that important matter is.”
“I can’t tell you now. But once I return and everything is certain, I’ll explain everything.”
It was the same situation as a few days ago. When he hadn’t told her his past, had she felt this same frustration? Now he finally understood how she must have felt back then—their roles simply reversed.
Even so, he couldn’t just give up on an answer.
Derwin was suffocating with frustration. He couldn’t bring himself to say I understand, go safely.
“You are telling me you will stay out overnight. With another man.”
“It’s fine. I plan not to sleep for those two days.”
“This isn’t about sleeping or not sleeping.”
His frustration spilled out.
“When people are with someone they love, they naturally wish to share love with them—day or night. Just as when I am with you, I lose my composure at any time of the day!”
It was a small confession born of his bottled-up frustration. But unaware of the weight of his words, he continued.
“So the issue is not merely staying overnight. The problem is being together, just the two of you.”
“…But I’ve often had lunch alone with the Commander, and it’s been fine—”
“Even that—I hated it! That’s why I asked you to announce our engagement. Do you not remember?”
Derwin’s voice rose. Shanelika couldn’t find any reply to that.
From the very beginning, when he first confessed, he had clearly said he hated her being with other men. And yet, she couldn’t avoid this trip.
“I’ll be careful. Truly. Nothing will happen.”
Though she sounded a little hesitant, she did not waver from her decision.
Derwin fell silent. If caution alone were enough, he wouldn’t have spoken up in the first place.
“How can you be so certain nothing will happen? Sir Shtern is not only a man but the commander of knights, a strong man. If he wished, he could easily overpower someone as small as you. Do you not realize that?”
“…He’s not that kind of person.”
Derwin thought he’d sooner trust a crawling ant in the dirt than trust Shtern.
“It’s not about whether he is or isn’t that kind of person. What matters is what he thinks of you. And besides, you have no strength to defend yourself.”
His voice sank lower and lower. Shanelika could feel the gloom in it. Just a moment ago he had been flustered, but now he sounded as though he had run into a wall too many times and half given up.
She hated hearing that defeated voice.
And it was her fault he sounded that way.
“Just this once, Your Grace.”
With a heavy heart, she steadied herself.
The quarrel with Derwin, the tangled worries about Shtern—she had been in no mood to smile for days. But now, seeing Derwin so dejected in the face of her stubbornness, she wanted to let everything go, to throw herself into his arms and say she wouldn’t go.
But she couldn’t. She had made her decision. She had to see for herself whether the one Shtern spoke of truly was the Lord.
Shanelika rose from the table and approached Derwin. Then she knelt before him, taking his tightly clenched fists in her hands. They were so tense that his fists burned with heat.
Her small white hands gently enfolded his large, hardened ones. Slowly, his tightly curled fingers began to loosen under her touch.
“Don’t worry. I’ll only confirm what must be confirmed and return. After this, I’ll never do something like this again. And when I return, I’ll tell you everything.”
“……”
“Do you remember a few days ago, when we quarreled, and I asked if you were checking my memories because you thought I wasn’t a dragon?”
Now that she had opened his fists, she looked into his eyes.
Smooch.
A soft kiss landed on his open palm, brief but warm.
“I still believe you’re the Lord. But even if you’re not, I still love you. Because you, as you are now, are someone completely different from the Lord.”
Shanelika smiled softly at the stunned Derwin.
“So don’t worry. When you return from your trip, I’ll be here in this mansion, waiting for you just as always.”
It was the dazzling smile he hadn’t seen in so long.
Defeated.
Derwin had no choice but to admit it. From the start, she had come with a firm resolve. And before such a precious woman speaking so sweetly, what could he possibly say?
“…You must return safely. Without incident.”
At last, with great effort, he gave his consent. Shanelika’s mint-colored eyes sparkled.
“Yes, I will.”
As she tried to rise, Derwin tightened his grip on her hands, pulling her back down. Just as she was about to ask why, she realized his face was slowly moving closer.
Ah.
She was flustered, but she did not pull away. His dark eyes stopped just short of her lips, silently asking permission.
Shanelika closed her eyes.
A moment later, something warm and soft touched her lips.
Moist and sweet. It was a new sensation, but the gentle, tentative press and release made her smile with pleasure.
Right after sending Shanelika to her room, Derwin went to Ferdinand’s chamber.
In the end, he had been unable to change her mind. If everything went as she intended, she would return from the trip while he was away in the Kingdom of Larta.
But what if she didn’t…?
The ominous thought refused to leave him. Above all, what worried him was her going with Shtern. No matter how strong her resolve, things might not go smoothly.
“Oh? Brother.”
Lately unoccupied, Ferdinand looked surprised by Derwin’s late-night visit.
“Ferdinand, I have a favor to ask.”
“A favor? Out of nowhere?”
“Escort Lady Shanelika this weekend.”
“Escort?”
“Yes—but without her knowing. Secretly.”
Even the sweet taste of that stolen kiss could not quell his anxiety. But if Ferdinand accompanied her in secret, perhaps it would be a little better.
Derwin forced himself to soothe his restless heart.
