Chapter 67
All the romantic words he had prepared vanished, leaving his brain blank, and his tongue stiffened in dumb silence.
He had never felt this embarrassed in front of anyone in his entire life.
She was pretty and very small—a girl.
He couldn’t even think about the fact that he was an immortal or that she was a purifier. His mouth went dry, and his breath caught in his throat.
Her teal eyes reminded him of the sea. Her platinum hair fluttered like the wings of a butterfly.
Then, their eyes met.
Thud. His heart sank. Her eyes were full of fear.
Johann had known the word purifier for fourteen years, but it was only when he saw Odette’s eyes that he realized for the first time that purification was not romantic, but violence.
To make physical contact with such a small, frightened girl was no different from exploitation.
But what should he do? He thought she was too beautiful.
He wanted to touch her. His desire—.
Without realizing it, Johann reached out his hand. Odette, frightened, huddled her shoulders and took a step back.
In that moment, she may have sensed it. That Johann would forever be an exploiter, a predator who would take advantage of her.
She must have realized that Johann was looking at her not as an immortal, but as a human with desires.
A man shaped by chivalry, yet willing to become ugly to touch Odette.
Johann visited the emperor that day. In the name of the royal family, he made Odette bear an overwhelming amount of responsibility. He liked the sea, which reminded him of her teal eyes, so he chose the navy for her. Even though he needed purification, he endured it, only asking for it when he could no longer bear it.
To make sure she could no longer refuse. To purify her, himself, his love. Johann felt like he was slowly becoming a monster every time she rejected him.
“I don’t want to purify. Whether the immortal dies or not, what does that have to do with me?”
“Lady Odette, I understand the pain and confusion. You didn’t choose to awaken, but for the empire—.”
“No, I don’t want it. I can’t do this anymore. Father! Please take me away.”
When he mentioned the empire, she almost gagged.
Wanting purification for the empire was disgusting. Johann had never thought about the empire in front of her.
It was a pathetic plea. Yet, only a firm rejection came in return.
It felt distant.
“Do you think I wanted this? I dreamed of being a purifier. I didn’t dream of you, Odette.”
Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection.
The boy was disappointed in the girl, despairing, and eventually gave up. He thought of her as a horrible, repulsive human being who he could not deal with.
He couldn’t bear it any other way. Clinging to an affection that would never be returned.
You made me a monster.
I won’t like the girl who will forever see me as a monster. How long must I suffer because of a girl who dislikes me so much that she wouldn’t even purify me as I die?
Yet, he couldn’t deny he felt something for Odette.
So Johann decided to hate Odette. He would fall in love with any girl who was not at all like Odette.
Yes, his ideal type would be the complete opposite of Odette.
Someone simple, modest, and not aristocratic.
But now, Odette, dressed in a simple white dress, was standing before him.
“Everyone, please rise and stop.”
At the butler’s command, Odette lowered her skirt and lifted her head. The 18-year-old Odette, the complete opposite of the 15-year-old one, was smiling modestly at him.
Suddenly, Johann felt like he couldn’t even breathe or blink. It felt strange.
It felt like he was in a swamp.
He had struggled and swum so hard, only to end up at the starting point.
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Here is the translation of the chapter into English:
Chapter 67
All the romantic words he had prepared vanished, and his mind went blank, his tongue stiffened and dumb.
He had never been so embarrassed in front of anyone in his entire life.
A pretty, very small girl.
He couldn’t even think of the fact that he was an immortal or that she was a purifier. His mouth went dry, and he found it hard to breathe.
Her teal eyes reminded him of the sea. Her platinum hair fluttered like the wings of a butterfly.
Then, their eyes met.
Thud. His heart sank. Her eyes were filled with fear.
Johann had known the word purifier for fourteen years, but it wasn’t until he saw Odette’s eyes that he realized for the first time that purification was not romance, but violence.
To make physical contact with such a small, frightened girl was no different than exploitation.
But what should he do? He felt she was too beautiful.
He wanted to touch her. His desire—.
Without realizing it, Johann reached out his hand. Odette flinched and took a step back, her shoulders hunched in fear.
At that moment, she must have sensed it. Johann was a predator who would exploit her forever.
Johann wasn’t looking at her as an immortal but as a human with desires.
A man pretending to be shaped by chivalry, yet willing to become ugly just to touch Odette.
Johann visited the emperor that day. In the name of the royal family, he imposed a burdensome amount on the girl. He chose the navy because he liked the sea, which reminded him of her teal eyes. Even if purification was needed, he endured it, only asking for it when he could no longer bear it.
To make sure she could no longer refuse. To purify her, himself, and his love. Johann felt like he was slowly becoming a monster every time she rejected him.
“I don’t want purification. Whether the immortal dies or not, what does that have to do with me?”
“Lady Odette, I understand the pain and confusion. You didn’t choose to awaken, but for the sake of the empire—.”
“No! I can’t do this anymore. Father! Please take me away!”
When he mentioned the empire, she almost vomited.
Wanting purification for the empire was revolting. Johann had never thought about the empire in front of her.
It was a pitiful plea. Yet, only a firm rejection came in return.
It felt distant.
“Do you think I wanted this? I dreamed of being a purifier. I didn’t dream of you, Odette.”
Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection.
The boy was disappointed in the girl, despairing, and eventually gave up. He thought of her as a terrible and repulsive human being he couldn’t deal with.
He couldn’t bear it any other way. Clinging to an affection that would never be returned.
You made me a monster.
I won’t like the girl who will forever see me as a monster. How long must I suffer because of a girl who dislikes me so much that she wouldn’t even purify me as I die?
Yet, he couldn’t deny he felt something for Odette.
So Johann decided to hate Odette. He would fall in love with any girl who was not at all like Odette.
Yes, his ideal type would be the complete opposite of Odette.
Someone simple, modest, and not aristocratic.
But now, Odette, dressed in a simple white dress, was standing before him.
“Everyone, please rise and stop.”
At the butler’s command, Odette lowered her skirt and lifted her head. The 18-year-old Odette, the complete opposite of the 15-year-old one, was smiling modestly at him.
Suddenly, Johann felt like he couldn’t even breathe or blink. It felt strange.
It felt like he was in a swamp.
He had struggled and swum so hard, only to end up at the starting point.
“Everyone, please rise and stop.”
At the butler’s command, Odette lifted her head, and her eyes met Johann’s. Somehow, her usual blue eyes seemed to gaze at him intently.
There was a strange persistence in her gaze. It even made Odette question herself, “Did I make a mistake when I greeted him?”
“Hmm. Why is she staring at me like that? Should I smile?”
He awkwardly smiled as a formality, and he quickly turned his head in the opposite direction.
“Did she avoid me? Is it because of guilt… probably not.”
Among the male leads, Johann was the best at controlling his emotions.
That night, Odette had purposefully triggered his sympathy, so guilt was visible on his face… but still, he wouldn’t act childish because of those feelings.
He was a master of refining and reflecting on his own emotions.
“I don’t know why, but… I hope she avoids me next time. She dressed simply, according to her taste, so can’t she at least look at my dress?”
Today, Odette’s target for reducing her dislike was Johann. She hoped he would look at her and lower her disgust, but it didn’t help.
Odette gazed at Johann with a yearning heart, but it was of no use. He was staring in the opposite direction with a troubled expression.
As the emperor praised Johann and listed his achievements as a great immortal, Odette sighed.
“Did I really use too shallow a strategy against the male protagonist? Well, I guess the cliché of wearing something she likes only works to reduce dislike for the female protagonist?”
She reluctantly gave up.
Johann didn’t stay long at official events. Like usual, he’d show up, his face seen, and then leave as soon as the emperor’s speech was over.
“Johann’s troubled expression must be because his father is using him politically,” Odette thought.
The emperor, who always kept an eye on his son, only used Johann to raise his own status in such settings.
Odette empathized with Johann’s bitterness.
“You really are suffering because of that foolish father of yours.”
The emperor’s speech finally ended, and applause erupted from the guests.
Someone tapped her on the shoulder.
“Um… nice to meet you?”
When she turned, she saw a soldier casually approaching her.
“…?”
He was about her height, a dark-skinned man whose face resembled a large potato.
“Who is this?”
She felt an unpleasant sensation inside.
Not introducing yourself and speaking casually was disrespectful to a lady, and it was incredibly rude for a soldier to grab a lady’s shoulder and speak to her.
“Since he’s wearing a uniform, he must have attended as a decorated soldier.”
Even non-nobles who had received medals sometimes got invited to dance balls. He must have come for that reason…
“Who are you to speak to me?”
“Oh, I’m late to introduce myself. Lady Odette, I’m Corporal Marco. I work under your father.”
His speech was so flirtatious it made her frown.
And his smirking grin seemed mocking.
“Why is he calling me by name… Wait, did he just say Corporal Marco?”
She blinked, then silently chuckled.
“Interesting. I didn’t expect to meet this bastard here.”
Marco was one of her father’s subordinates. He had been the warden of the Fenril prison camp.
He had been the one who beat Luca and Lara to death and taught them her name.
“I had found out his name was Marco, but with so many soldiers named Marco, I couldn’t figure out which one he was. I’m disappointed, but I didn’t expect him to show up on his own.”
Perfect. A prison warden, this damn bastard.
